Page 40 of Worship

“That your blood?” Blake asks, voice heavy from me doing the only thing I can think of for this to end sooner. Making him come as quickly as I can. I’ve never felt shame like it, having no choice but to do what I can do.

“I’ll live,” Milton replies. “Is that necessary?”

“Why? You want my girl, Milton?” My insides twist, shock drawing me back. Blake bursts out laughing. “I’m just fucking with you.” He grabs my hair and pulls me back. “Go to bed. You can finish later.”

Getting to my feet, I keep my head down as I scurry out of the room, feeling a hundred pairs of eyes watching me go. Especially Milton’s.

Chapter Eighteen

I’ve always wondered what it would be like when you die. Where you go. If Heaven and Hell exist. That we’re not all bullshitting ourselves in believing there are truly places for good and bad people. And what about the people in between? The ones who had no choice but to do wrong to survive. Do they stay here on earth, floating through it unseen? Unheard?

Then there’s reincarnation, and maybe that would be nice. Be reborn a different person—someone with a better life unless you really arethatunlucky to strike a lousy life twice.

Rain falls outside. Tap, tap, tapping on my window. They just administered my night meds, and already my eyes are heavy. My insides numb. There’s a deep void in my chest, and it’s called defeat.

“What are you thinking?” a voice drifts into my thoughts. How beautiful that voice is. How much I wish it could be real.

“I’m thinking…about where you go when you die,” I mumble, eyes closing. “Anything would be better than this.”

There’s no reply. Not that I expect it from a ghost. A lone tear rolls over my nose and dampens my pillow before giving up and succumbing to the drugs.

* * *

Something wakes me.A breath that is not my own. A gut instinct that I might not be truly alone. Over the years, I’ve learned that sensation well, mostly if Blake were in one of his evil moods and wanted to ruin something. Usually me.

As my eyes peel open, I warily search the room, expecting to see just another nurse or tech checking in on me. My breathing hitches when I seehiminstead. As clear as if it were fucking daytime, Milton’s here, sat in the chair and piercing me with a frosty gaze.

Wearing a black suit and white shirt undone at the neck, his hair is perfectly in place, the murky shine in his eyes causing my stomach to shudder. And tingle. And clench.

“Hello, Heidi.” His tone is silky smooth and yet deadly at the same time. Holding up his hand, he presents my journal. “This…” He opens it, flicking through the pages that are no longer blank since I decided to write the only thought I had inside my head. Him.

Milton Xavier Hood.Milton Xavier Hood.

Milton Xavier Hood. Milton Xavier Hood.

Slapping it closed, he throws it down on the table, the thud of the cover hitting the wood making me jump. “Is a little obsessive for someone you claim to hate so much, isn’t it?”

He opens the folder next, eyes scanning the new notes on the pages. After reading, he closes that too, the crease between his brows intensifying. “Dr. Rogue claims to have had a breakthrough with you—”

“Milton,” I interject, voice barely a whisper and disgustingly needy.

“Why have you been asking for me?”

The lump in my throat grows thicker, and my eyes burn. “Help me. Please.”

His head tilts to the side. “Help you?”

Grabbing my blanket, I try to push it off me. As I lamely attempt to sit up, I groan, my head so dizzy. My hand slips beneath me, and I topple out of bed and crash to the floor, gasping from the pain as I land awkwardly on my neck.

He remains seated and doesn’t make a move to help me as I grab his leg in another pitiful attempt, knowing how I must look as I pull myself up. Knowing howweakhe must think I am. “I knew you were real. I knew. But they…they didn’t believe me. They did this to me.” Staring up at him, seeing the corners of his mouth lift into the sliest smirk I’ve ever seen him wear, the realization is the deadliest pill I’ve had to swallow so far.

“Did I not tell you you’d regret it?” His words puncture holes inside of me, splintering my heart. And it hurts. Oh, it fuckinghurts.

He did this to me.

“It was you.” My chest caves, his face so impassive it sets my nerves on fire with rage that seems to come from nowhere. He had them reduce me tothis.

Exhaling through his nose, he leans forward. “You have five seconds to tell me why you want me here.”

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