Page 35 of Worship

I don’t know why. I’m psychotic for entertaining the idea. Sick in the head. Deserving of being here. I’m consumed by a man who cares less about me, wanting his return when all he wants to do is torture me.

I’m sick, sick, sick.

Tossing on to my other side, frustrated by my thoughts, something catches the corner of my eye. As I look up to see what, my heart stops at the dark form in the doorway. Just as I’m about to open my mouth to scream, it rushes forward, and a hand crashes against my lips.

“Shh,” Nicolas hushes as my eyes widen. Something cold presses against my throat and I whimper behind his palm at the blade on my skin. “Don’t give me a reason to hurt you, free bird.”

It’s been months since I’ve seen him, and time hasn’t been kind; he looks awful. Cuts tarnish his swollen face, blackening in areas where bruises have formed. Ashy hair falls around shoulders now, wet from the storm and dripping water on my face. He looks every bit of the man Blake abused him to become. “I’m going to remove my hand, but if you scream, I’ll cut you. Understand?”

Nodding, he takes his hand away slowly. Warily. When I don’t scream, he relaxes, lessening the pressure on the knife against my throat.

“Daddy misses you,” he taunts with a smirk, the weight of his body smothering me. He smells of alcohol and smoke, and he’shere. How the fuck is he here? “We’re bringing you home soon.”

My head shakes, “No—”

“Youwillcome home if you want to keep that little murderous secret you have to yourself.” He sighs when I gasp. “That’s right, I know all about what you did. I’ve been watchin’ you all this time, knowin’ how that mama of yours made all the bad things her daughter did go away.”

“Wh—what?”

“Did you get my present?” he asks, evil pouring into his gaze.

My head flinches back, tears welling in my eyes when he flashes me a cold smile of deviousness. “It was you. You dug up my baby.” His eyes squint harshly as my stomach churns. “I didn’t know I was pregnant, I…” Had a headache. Didn’t want to be alive anymore. Tried to kill myself. I couldn’t live with the guilt of betraying Milton any longer. Which one to tell him? “Does he—”

“No. But he will if you make this difficult for me. You know he’s wanted to put a baby in you for years to replace thedamagedone,” he spits, talking about himself. “If heeverfound out, he’d kill you, and you know it.”

“I’m…”

His hand goes around my neck, and fear coats my insides as his fingers close around my throat. “Fuckin’ cunt. Do not say you’re sorry. You’re not sorry. I can’t stand the damn sight of you. Nothin’ but a dirty whore!”

“Nick, I can’t…I can’t breathe…” His hand clenches tighter, crushing my windpipe and blocking out air. Kicking out my legs, I slap his hands, trying to get him to stop.

“I’ll come for you during the wedding. Blake wants you back where you belong.” I smack his arm frantically. I can’t breathe. I’m going to die! “Since you got yourself locked up in a psych ward, you’re protected, and the wedding is the only opportunity, so be ready to come without a scene…And Heidi…”

He leans in so close I’m not only being strangled, I’m being crushed by his weight. “Don’t even think about getting anyone to help you. Because I will kill them all.”

Finally, he lets go, and I inhale loudly, coughing when air fills my lungs too fast. Placing my hand over my chest, I look up, still gasping, my room now empty, and Nick long gone.

* * *

I pacemy room all night, until the first traces of daylight uncover another stormy day, which seems to only add to the impact of Nick’s sudden arrival.

My hands grasp the sides of my head, heart palpitating, and stomach cramping with nausea. No. This isn’t happening. Itcan’tbe. I have to get out of here. There’s no way I can go back to Blake. Ican’t.

As my thoughts swirl too fast in my head, only one person comes to mind. There’s only one who can help me.

Opening the door, I rush down the corridor to the nurses’ station. My fist pounds on the door, but there’s no answer. Moving around to the other side and peering through a gap in the curtains, I spot all the nurses chatting over tea and coffee. I bang on the window angrily, and one by one, they turn to me.

It’s Vera who gets up and opens the door. Hooded eyes reveal tiredness, her nightshift almost over. “Why aren’t you asleep. You can’t have any more medication, Heidi.”

“I don’t want pills,” I snap impatiently. “I need to see Milton Hood.”

She cocks an eyebrow. “Who?”

Is she kidding me?

“Milton Xavier Hood,” I repeat, pronouncing his name slower. “He has an office on the other side of the building.” I point down the corridor. “You took me to him the before, don’t you remember? I need to speak to him. Tell him it’s urgent.”

She scratches her head. “I don’t know who you are talking about.” Turning to the other nurses, she asks, “Do any of you know a Milton Hood?”

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