Page 10 of Color of Love

Chapter 4

The next few days passed quickly and before Justine knew it, it was Wednesday morning, and she was waiting for Blake to turn up for his second appointment. She couldn’t deny that she was looking forward to this session. Part of her wondered if he would actually turn up, because even though the sessions were mandatory, he seemed determined not to work with her. She couldn’t deny the way her heart raced as the handle to the office door turned and he entered.

“Morning Blake, how are you?” she asked cheerfully, gesturing to him to take a seat on the couch. He didn’t respond, just watched her as he came around to sit, his eyes piercing her. He was wearing his standard uniform of black t-shirt and jeans, plain clothes but on him they looked-stop!

She fixed a smile on her face as she sat down opposite him. He didn’t attempt conversation, she sighed inwardly as it became apparent they would have a repeat of last week. That was fine by her, she’d keep asking all the things she wanted to ask. Again, she had all the time in the world and at some point, if he wanted to keep his job, he would have to open up to her.

“How are you settling into the town?” she asked. He rested one ankle over the opposite knee and folded his arms but didn’t reply.

“It was nice to see you at the NWS meeting the other night. Are you going to be coming every week?” she asked. That didn’t have anything to do with helping him, she just needed to know where she could expect to bump into him outside of work so she could prepare herself.

She had been overwhelmed when she’d rushed into the meeting late and met his cool eyes across the table. She’d felt his stare on her for most of the meeting and fought every instinct she possessed, refusing to meet his hard gaze and leaving as soon as the meeting was over. She couldn’t explain the way he made her feel. Even now she had so many emotions roaring through her and she didn’t know what any of them meant.

He didn’t answer her question, just continued to trap her with his stare. She switched tactics, deciding to bring up something she was curious about.

“Do you want to talk about the incident at the bar last week?” she asked. A muscle ticked under his left eye but other than that he gave no reaction to her question.

“Why did you attack Beau?” Another facial tick. For some reason seeing him fight his impulses really…intrigued her. She felt heat stirring low in her belly and something unknown passed between them. She arched an eyebrow at him and continued.

“Was that a reaction to being surprised or do you just not like men prettier than you?” A bold question, she hoped to get a reaction out of him, wanted to make him sweat. But other than a fierce clenching of his jaw, there was nothing.

After the continued silence she wondered if keeping up her professional front was triggering his standoffish behavior; maybe if she relaxed a little then he would too. She removed her suit jacket and her shoes, took her hair out of its high ponytail and softened her features when she looked at him. He narrowed his eyes at her as if to say, I know what you’re doing. But still nothing.

Half an hour later she grabbed a notepad and pen and just watched him as he watched her. She loved being able to openly stare at him, taking in the contours of his face. Every now and then she sighed and wrote something on her notepad then continued watching him. He frowned at her each time she did it, his glare spurring her on to push his buttons and she couldn’t deny that she got a thrill out of it. It was obviously bothering him, and she knew he wanted to ask what she’d written but he wouldn’t dare. That would show he cared, and judging from his behavior he didn’t care about anything.

“How many panic attacks do you have in a week?”

Jaw clench. Eye tick. No response.

Just as time was about to run out, she fixed him with a contemplative stare, and came to sit next to him. Her hair fell forward, as she brushed it to the side, she spotted his hand grip his knee tighter.

“Tell me about your wife, Katie.” A statement, not a question and one he didn’t take well. His nostrils flared, his jaw cracked, and his fists clenched. She was pushing him, but he wouldn’t react. He didn’t even turn to face her, just stared straight ahead at where she’d been sitting before. A moment later their time was up and, as though he had a timer set, he got up and left her office without a backward glance.

She frowned after him. How the hell was she going to reach him?

*

Blake sat in the parking lot of the Rusty Bucket again, working himself up to go in. It was Saturday night, the busiest night of the week. He had done well Sunday when he came in and tested himself though he hadn’t stayed long, he wanted to quit while he was ahead. That’s not why you left, his brain reminded him helpfully and he replayed Justine dancing with Beau. Blake couldn’t figure out what the deal was between the two of them. He also couldn’t figure out why he cared so much that it consumed his thoughts. He kind of liked Beau and didn’t want to keep turning into a raging, testosterone-fueled manbeast whenever the guy so much as looked in Justine’s direction.

Blake knew that Dean and Beau were best friends and he guessed he could admit it would be kind of cool to hang out with them. They were pretty much the only guys in town that were a similar age to him and with similar interests. And though Blake hated to admit it, he was beginning to feel kind of lonely. He still got nervous thinking about spending time with anyone. He could have an anxiety attack and then they would realize how messed up he was. Maybe it was just easier to keep people at arm’s length.

Before he could decide, he needed to make sure he could keep himself in check when socializing with others. Tonight would be a big test. It would be packed inside the bar, hot and loud, and people might accidentally bump into him. There were a lot of scenarios that could trigger him, but he needed to do this to see if he had made any progress at all. Maybe if he had made progress, he could stop seeing Justine. Just the thought of that relieved him. He took a deep breath and then went inside.

The place was packed. He kept his head down, trying to stay calm and made a beeline for the bar. He ran his eyes around the room as usual, memorizing his escape route in case of emergencies, counting how many people were in the bar, who might be considered a threat. He spotted Beau, Dean and Christy huddled together, but not Justine. Not that he had expected her to be here but if they were here, she usually wasn’t far behind.

“Hey Blake, you came!” Taylor called when she saw him.

He frowned. “Were you expecting me?”

“It’s Justine’s gig tonight, didn’t you come to hear her sing?” she asked, raising her voice over the music currently playing.

He tried to keep his expression neutral; he hadn’t realized that was tonight. But now he was glad he’d come, he wanted to see her perform. Although he didn’t want to admit it, she intrigued him. He also needed to discover more about her, to find her weaknesses. Then if he knew hers, he might not feel so vulnerable around her all the time.

“Happy coincidence,” he replied with a slight smile so she wouldn’t think he was a stalker.

“You’re gonna love her! Whiskey soda, right?” she shouted over her shoulder as she walked away.

“You are a good bartender.”

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