Page 72 of Color of Love

“When? Before our next session? Which starts in two minutes?”

“I’m sorry, Blake.”

When she said nothing further, his eyes narrowed, his piercing stare making her heart pound and her palms sweat. She shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

“What’s going on?” he asked, reaching for her hand. His gentle tone, full of concern, cracked something inside her and she spun away, choking back the words that lodged in her throat.

“Nothing’s going on,” she said, and he came around to face her.

“Don’t lie to me. I know you well enough by now.”

She marched back to her desk and began shuffling papers. “I’d like you to leave now, Deputy.”

“Justine, honey, what’s going on?” The endearment, the concern, damn this man.

Tears sprang to her eyes. “Nothing’s going on.”

He gripped her shoulders, tingles branching from his touch.

“Justine, tell me, what’s-”

“Please leave, Blake!” She couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Honey, whatever’s going on, we can handle it together, you know I’ll help you any-”

“I love you!” she shouted at him. Not exactly coming out how she had dreamed, but it had been bubbling inside her. He reared back like she’d slapped him. Her words hung in the air between them, and she wished she could snatch them back and tell him she was kidding, tell him he’d misheard but it was too late, the words were out there. His mouth floundered open and closed, his eyes darting around.

“No, you don’t,” he said softly, shaking his head.

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” she replied, fiercely. She crossed her arms over her chest, then she saw it, the moment his expression softened to one of pity, and it broke her heart even more.

He didn’t love her.

“I can’t treat you anymore, it’s not right. I can’t separate myself from you enough to be able to help you objectively.”

“Then don’t. Why do we have to stop what we’re doing? Things are going just fine, they’ve never been better!”

“Do you love me?” The words left her mouth before she could stop them, and he blanched but didn’t respond. It was all the answer she needed. “The lines are blurring,” she said.

“Why can’t we just continue on as we are, being together?” he tried again.

She wanted to, oh, how she wanted to, but she wouldn’t do that to herself. She needed to walk away while she could still put herself back together. She shook her head. He gripped her shoulders again, his fingers digging into her flesh and she looked up at him. His brows were knitted together, his eyes wide in desperation.

“I’m offering you more than I’ve ever offered anyone else,” he said.

“That’s not true,” she whispered, and he spun away from her.

“You know I didn’t want to marry her. She tricked me, and I had no choice!” he shouted.

“Yes, you did. You made one, didn’t you?” she countered.

“I was just a kid. I didn’t want to stay with her, but I didn’t know any better.”

“Exactly, you were just a kid and yet your guilt over Katie is stopping you from moving on in life, from finding love again.” Even in the midst of her emotional breakdown she was helping him, putting him first. Because even if it wasn’t with her, she wanted him to find love, he deserved it.

“Don’t turn this back on me, you’re abandoning me when I need you most! Look how far I’ve come. You’re willing to just throw it away? How could you betray me like this?” His voice rose again with his anger, an undercurrent of hurt in his words. She didn’t respond, there was nothing to say. She was done.

“So that’s it?” he asked, spreading his arms wide.

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