“To you, for fighting, and winning.” She glared at him until he repeated the words back to her. She pushed him, no matter how much he fought and how ungrateful he seemed, but words couldn’t describe the gratitude he had for what she was doing. They clinked their glasses and then she put one arm around his neck.
“You didn’t fail me, Blake. Your intuition told you something bad was happening and you raced up there with no hesitation. You saved Rebelle. You saved me. This is what you were made for.” She whispered the last part and he soaked up her words as they began to patch up the broken space inside him. He realized that these negative feelings wouldn’t last forever. Finally he had hope, something he hadn’t had in a long time. What would I do without her?
She gripped his jaw and pulled him down for a kiss, a kiss he quickly deepened, slanting his mouth over hers. He slowed the pace down, just the way she liked, and he smiled against her mouth when her breath hitched. God, he lov—liked that sound. She sighed into him, the sound teasing him, pushing the boundaries of his self-control.
He pulled her firmly against him, his palm splaying across her back, and she gasped as she came up against his hardness. He swallowed the sound, tangling his fingers in her hair, tilting her head for better access and slid his tongue into her mouth as she ground her hips against him. He spun them around and laid her down on the dining table, not breaking contact once.
They kissed until she started whimpering and he pulled back to look down at her. Her hair tangled around her, lips swollen, cheeks tinged red from his beard. If there was a more beautiful woman, he hadn’t met her, because she didn’t exist.
He pushed her top up, exposing more of her delectable brown skin, then her bra, revealing her breasts. Her nipples were hard, begging for his mouth. He dropped his head to suck on one, then the other. Her legs scissored against his thighs and her nails clawed at his scalp. He loved her passion, bathed in it and it fired his own. She didn’t play games, she showed him exactly what she wanted, she was perfect.
*
Justine thought she should probably stop him, they had both had a rough night, but as his mouth worked its magic, all rational thought fled. She needed him as much as he needed her, she was too emotionally on edge from this evening’s incident, she needed his comfort.
This time it didn’t seem like he was doing it to make a point, like he had previously. It was borne from want and need. His movements were clumsy, his desire too great for calculated, purposeful touches designed to drive her wild. She met his urgency with her own. She was tumbling down a rabbit hole, falling endlessly, drowning in him and she never wanted it to end.
He tugged at her clothes, his hands fumbling with the zipper on her jean shorts until she helped him. He hooked his thumb in the waistband and tugged them down, leaving her in those orange panties that he liked so much. He stared down at them, his eyes fixed, then shook his head and tugged them off, baring her. His gaze fixed on her again, staring between her legs before he dragged his eyes to meet hers. Her stomach clenched at the raw desire she saw banked in the molten silver depths.
He held her stare as he pushed a finger inside her. He withdrew it, slowly, and when he thrust again, he added another and curled them in that way that made her see stars. He continued to work her in that same lazy, unhurried way, the intensity of his stare ratcheting up her need until she surrendered, shouting his name.
He withdrew his fingers and thrust inside her while she was still riding the waves of her climax. He pounded into her, rattling the table, scraping it across the floor with his movements and she loved it. She loved him. The knowledge filled her as her second orgasm barreled into her and she had to bite back the words as they tried to escape her throat.
He still watched her, his expression unreadable as she orgasmed, unable to hide away from what he made her feel. She was raw, vulnerable, and exposed. His jaw clenched and she felt him pulse inside her. He grunted and closed his eyes, his head tilting back in pleasure.
What did she do now? How did she act? Did he already know she loved him? He looped his arm under her knees and wrapped the other around her waist, lifting her, and he carried her upstairs. He gently lay her on the bed and tucked her in before he joined her, curling his big body around hers. His unique, mouth-watering scent enveloped her and, without a word he fell asleep, holding her tight.
She turned in his arms, trying not to wake him, and watched him as he slept. She stroked her thumb over the furrow between his brows, smoothing it away, and in his sleep, he relaxed. His panic attack had nearly caused one of her own. Watching him go through that had been harrowing. It had been harder to witness this time over all the others. For the first time, she had panicked and forgotten how to help him. All her training had disappeared out of her mind, all her studies and research gone, and she’d been helpless. Because she loved him.
Justine didn’t know when it had happened, probably weeks ago, but it only solidified in that moment. When her heart had torn apart watching him struggle, and after that she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that she had him and would never let him go.She had failed him. She had forgotten until the last minute to even say anything. Her love for this wonderful man who was so brave and fearless had turned her into a failure.
The knowledge settled like lead in her stomach as she realized this is how it would be now, and she couldn’t help him like that. She couldn’t continue to treat him now that she had developed such a deep, emotional attachment to him. She could no longer be objective. A sob caught in her throat at the thought of not treating him and working with him. She buried her face in his chest, his arms tightening around her in his sleep.
She would have to refer him to someone else, she wouldn’t be able to see him anymore, it wasn’t right. It hadn’t been right in the first place, but it had been easier to justify when it was just sex. If she had known what this would turn into, would she still have done it? Yes, in a heartbeat.
She laughed bitterly as she realized she had fallen in love with the one person she was convinced she never would. Goddammit, she had no one but herself to blame. He didn’t love her, he didn’t love anyone, and he definitely didn’t want a family or children.
She couldn’t stay like this. She was tempted, so damn tempted, but she couldn’t do that to herself, couldn’t condemn herself to living a life of continual heartbreak, loving someone who couldn’t love her back or give her what she’d always dreamed of.
He mumbled something in his sleep and gripped her tighter. She had tonight. She would spend her last night in his arms, memorizing his face, breathing in his scent and she would remember this moment always.
She didn’t sleep, and when the sun came up, she slipped away quietly, leaving him in her bed as she went into her office early. Once there, she dug through her contacts, and, her heart breaking, she made the call.