Page 17 of Color of Love

Chapter 6

When Blake pulled up outside Justine’s office for his next session, he saw her waiting outside leaning against her car, and he just knew she had something planned. Something he wasn’t going to like. He tried to ignore the punch of lust that hit him low in the gut as he took her in. Dark hair swinging from a ponytail, a lacy white sundress with large orange flowers played at the tops of her knees, the contrast against her delicious skin had his palms sweating. She had large, round white-rimmed sunglasses perched on top of her head and her dainty feet were encased in tennis shoes. Wherever they were going, it was outdoors. He sighed and got out of his car.

“Morning, Blake,” she called with a little wave. God, he loved the way she said his name, like she was sighing and his blood heated. He came over to her and nodded in greeting.

“Don’t you want to know why I’m meeting you out here?” she asked.

He still refused to play her game. He didn’t feel like he could open up and tell a stranger all his darkest innermost thoughts, no matter how beautiful she was. He had to admit though, it was getting harder to stay quiet. The problem was, he didn’t want to talk about all his issues, he wanted to talk about her.

“School field trip?” he replied with a sardonic smile. He noticed her eyes dropped to his mouth and a smile lit her face. He had to look away from its dazzling brilliance, an ache forming in his chest.

“Exactly, get in!” She gestured to her little three door Toyota. Could he even fit in there? He reluctantly went around to the passenger side and got in. Her usual scent of cocoa and vanilla immediately consumed him, this time honey was added to the mix. Images plagued him of his face buried in her hair, inhaling the intoxicating scent while his hands roved her body. Did she taste like honey? He shook his head, dislodging the thought before he got another hard-on—that was definitely bound to make things awkward. When he was buckled in, his knees practically to his chest, he turned to face her. She shot him another brilliant smile and put her sunglasses on.

“Road trip!” she sang as she peeled away from the curb and he fought the laugh trying to work its way free. She didn’t speak to him again for the whole journey, which annoyed him although he couldn’t explain why. They drove away from town, past the turning for the bar and kept going. A short while later she pulled over at the side of the road.

There was nothing around for miles, just trees as far as he could see. He watched as Justine got out of the car and took a deep breath. He got out, taking in his surroundings. They were at the edge of the forest they’d been at a few nights ago. He felt a pit growing in his stomach, he didn’t like being in large open areas, he wasn’t sure how to get his bearings, or how to protect her if something happened.

“Take a deep breath,” she instructed.

He fought an eye roll but did as she said. Inhaling deeply, he detected the scent of pine, fresh earth and the typical tang of citrus. It was wonderful, not that he would admit that to her. She smiled at him, pleased with his compliance.

“This way.” She pointed and then marched off into the trees. Reluctantly he followed her, tearing his eyes away from where the hem of her dress flirted with the backs of her smooth thighs. He gritted his teeth and kept his gaze on the forest floor, this would be his toughest session yet. The sound of leaves crunching under his feet, the softness of the pine needles coating the floor, the breeze blowing through the trees, rustling their leaves and branches. It was so peaceful, so quiet, he actually began to relax.

They walked for ten minutes before he heard the trickle of water. He glanced up and saw that they’d come to a small clearing by a river. Justine skipped ahead and perched on a rock and patted the one beside her for him to take a seat. He remained standing, staring out at the flat water with the trees along the bank reflected in its calm surface. When she didn’t speak for a little while he looked over at her. She was studying him, a frown on her face.

“I know you won’t open up to me,” she sighed, and he was surprised to feel a flare of guilt at disappointing her. “Not without knowing some personal details about me. I’m asking you to share your deepest thoughts with a stranger without offering anything as collateral in return.”

He didn’t say anything, didn’t move, just held his breath to see what she would say next. He didn’t understand his fascination with her, she wasn’t the type of woman he was usually interested in. She was too dominant, too independent, too sexy, and too…experienced. She wouldn’t need him. He liked to protect, liked to take the lead and he just knew she wouldn’t stand for that.

“So, I’m going to tell you some things about me, some things no one knows, or not many people anyway. I’ll trust you with this information, in the hope that you’ll trust me in turn and let me help you.” She looked out to the water and clasped her hands together, not meeting his stare. They sat in silence for a moment. His heart was pounding in his ears, he was on edge waiting for her to speak and reveal details about her life. She took a deep breath.

“My family went on vacation to Disneyland when I was seven. My parents had saved up for years to take us all. Just before we went inside the park, my parents went ahead to sort out our tickets and a man came over and offered to give me a Goofy balloon. Goofy was my favorite and I was so excited. He said it was in his van, so I went off with him to get it. We were nearly there before anyone realized and caught up to us. Sometimes, I have nightmares about what could’ve happened to me, and what happens to the children who don’t get away.” She went quiet and he was shocked at what she told him. He was about to say something when she began speaking again.

“When I was getting my PhD, one of my professors made a pass at me, offered to give me better grades if I got on my knees for him. I refused and he hit me, ironically calling me a slut and a whore.”

Blake stiffened and cold rage flooded through him.

“I reported him and he got fired. I studied harder and got better grades than he’d been offering, so in my mind I beat him, I won. But I still think about the fear I felt in that moment, after being propositioned then hit like that. It’s stayed with me all these years and I wonder if I really did win after all,” she added.

The sounds of the forest stilled. Blake held his breath, waiting for her to go on. She looked up at him and held his stare, her honey eyes wide pools of emotion and he gobbled up the sight of her vulnerability, devouring it, drowning in it.

Then she said, “My deepest fear is that I’ll end up alone. It’s pathetic I know but I’ve never even had a proper boyfriend.”

His jaw clenched. Wasn’t she with Beau? His second thought barreled into him after his first, wait, she’d never had a proper boyfriend? She had to be nearly the same age as him. Did that mean…?

“I believe in true love, the sickening fairy-tale kind, but it doesn’t seem to believe in me. Everyone around me is so loved up and I feel lonelier than ever. I’ve got the house, the job, the family and friends, but not the man. Sorry, that probably sounds ridiculous to you,” she murmured.

He opened his mouth, but his reply was cut off by something in the distance. Wait, was that…? Her voice faded into the background as the sound grew nearer, soaring above the trees. His breathing deepened and he knew what was going to happen next. His stomach turned, his hands trembled as he raised them to run through his hair, tugging the strands, using the pain to try and keep himself in the present. He couldn’t let the memories overrule him. The helicopter soared closer, the blades chopping through the air, the rhythmic sound mesmerizing him, thundering through him. He looked at the forest floor and as the pine needles morphed into sand, Walker was laying at his feet, bleeding out.

“No!” Blake bellowed, pushing his fists into his eyes, trying to erase the image.

“Blake?” Justine called, her voice sounded too distant, too far away. He needed to get away from her, what if he hurt her? He couldn’t guarantee what would happen if she was near.

“Get away from me!” He spun away, the sound of the helicopter nearer and he watched as it split the trees in front of him and lowered, landing in the desert clearing that formed in front of them. He was holding Walker, his grip on him slipping and sliding from all the blood pouring out. He felt a hand on his back.

“What are you seeing, Blake?” her soft voice filtered through, trying to anchor him. He couldn’t answer her. He was too focused on gripping Walker tightly, trying not to drop him but his hands were so damn slippery, there was so much blood.

“What are you seeing, Blake?” she asked again, her voice firmer. He shook his head. Walker slid from his arms, thudded to the ground, his cry of pain echoing in Blake’s ears.

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