Page 7 of Following Their Heart

Over our heads, beds scrape on floorboards as furniture is moved around the dorm. Doc and Brawn finished the windows downstairs. Now they’re doing the ones on the second level. Apparently, windows and doors are only the beginning. Rev has been making runs down to Bozeman and returning with fifty-pound bags of powdered “BallistiCrete,” which is apparently some kind of spray-on bullet-proofing for walls. The lodge and barn are going to be coated with this stuff inside and out to give us an extra layer of protection. It’s hard to imagine the lodge without the warm tones of its wood paneling on the inside and the natural beauty of rough-hewn logs making up its outer walls.

Having to transform our home into a fortress isn’t right. It’s an insult. An abomination.

All because some power-hungry jerk thinks he can just stroll up our mountain and take what’s not his: me. Because of Raptor, we have to upend our lives to defend ourselves. It’s utterly unfair and completely unnecessary.

“You’re turning that bison burger into mincemeat.” Shep’s gentle hands remove the mallet from my grip. I realize I’ve been pounding at the huge ball of bison burger he gave me instead of forming it into patties. It’s what I wish I could do to Raptor. “It will be very tender,ja?” Shep chuckles and kisses me on the cheek before scraping the meat chunks back into a ball.

“Sorry. I got a little…angry, I guess.”

He nods. “Ja.I get it.” His quiet response is simple. His smile falls, and his face becomes stoic as he tosses the vegetables with a creamy sauce. He really does get it. All the guys do.

We all love this place. We’re all frustrated at the interruption of looming danger.

I can’t help myself. I wipe my hands on my apron and go to him. Pressing myself against him, I wrap my arms around his thick waist and lean my cheek on his solid back. “I can’t lose any of you. I won’t.”

He sets down the tongs he’s using to toss the coleslaw and turns to me. Thick arms pull me in, and we hold each other for long moments.

Tonight, I’m taking Shep to my cabin. Doc too. They don’t know it yet, but Rev thinks it’s important to do what my dream showed me. He said my dream meant I was supposed to spend tonight with Doc and Shep, and then, in the morning, they’re supposed to visit Bernard and follow their instincts, whatever that means.

“When we’re like this together,” Rev said after spilling his come on my stomach, “I feel the Knowing stronger. You might not have a Gift, little one, but the Working is using you.” He gathered me to his chest and stroked my hair while I lay there marveling at that.

I’m still marveling at it. Rev thinks the Working is using me. I’m glad. And sort of honored, even though I’m still not sure what I think of the Working. I mean, it gave my seven guys Gifts, yes, but it also gave Leon and Raptor Gifts. Itdidn’tgive me a Gift. Was it the Working’s fault I got captured by Leon? Was the Working behind the Virus in the first place?I don’t know how Rev can put all his trust in something he can’t see or touch and something that might be just as responsible for evil as it is for good.

Rev doesn’t seem hung up on these kinds of questions. He simply trusts what the Working shows him. I’m not quite there yet. I may never get there. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a Gift.

For now, I’m content to play some kind of role, no matter how small, in helping defend my home and my men. Like Rev said, I don’t have a Gift, but that doesn’t mean I can’t contribute.

But exactly how my dream can contribute, I’m not sure. I mean, it showed Bernard turning himself inside out while Doc and Shep pet him. Obviously,that’snot going to happen. It’s too crazy. Maybe the whole dream was just a nonsensical notion brought on by stress. Still, Rev thinks it might mean something, so I’m going to spend tonight with two men. My two blondies. I’m a little nervous, but it won’t be a hardship. I genuinely like them, and I’ve been eager to get time alone with each of them. I didn’t envision that alone time being shared, but, hey, we all have to make sacrifices here.

Shep kisses the top of my head. I can feel the reluctance in his arms when he releases me. I’m not ready to let go, either. But we have to get back to work. The bison burgers aren’t going to grill themselves.

Soon, the meat is sizzling on the griddle and the buns are turning a light, toasty brown in the oven. Dinner is almost ready when Jud comes into the kitchen through the back door. At the sight of him, something strange happens. My stomach does a happy flip.

Jud is the most complicated of the men here. When we’re alone together, he can be extremely sweet. But he seems to have a hard time trusting. He’s always on the alert for manipulation. I guess, in his former life as the president of a motorcycle club, he had more negative experiences with women than positive ones. I can relate. I’ve had more negative experiences with men than positive ones. But I try not to let that stand in my way of getting to know the guys here.

Because they’re not Leon. None of the guys here are like the man that hurt me. And I’m not like the women who hurt Jud. I can’t tell him as much, because he keeps that side of himself closed off. He’s not exactly a talker. But I canshowhim. Iwillshow him. Because he’s worth the effort.

As much as I’m looking forward to being with Doc and Shep tonight, I can’t wait to be alone with Jud again. Playing with him outside or in his office during the daytime is fun and all, but I crave the Jud he can be when we’re alone together in the dark. In my bed.

I don’t fight the urge to run into his arms and cover his bearded face with kisses, though I do brace myself. Sometimes Jud receives me warmly. Sometimes, he’s Frosty the Snowman. As I launch myself into his arms, he’s nowhere near frosty.

“Kitten,” he breathes, wrapping me up in his strength and security. He lifts me until my legs are around his hips, and he holds me there. His arms band me to him until I feel like nothing can ever tear us apart.

“Hi,” I say between kisses to his smiling face. “I missed you.”

“Oh, yeah? How much did you miss me?”

I lean back to take in his fully-smiling face. Jud’s not exactly a smiley type of guy, so this is a different look for him. I like it. I remember Rev telling me Jud’s at his best when he has something to prepare for. Like the coming battle.

“I missed you this much,” I say as I lean out of his embrace and stretch my arms wide. Of course, his strong arms support me so I don’t fall.

He laughs and drags me back in for a long, hot kiss. His mouth is warm and firm but also inquisitive and gentle. He gives as much as he takes, and I gladly receive. When I come up for air, we’re not in the kitchen anymore. We’re in his office with the door closed. He carried me there, and I didn’t even realize it!

This man distracts me like no other.

Through the door, muffled construction noises thud and jangle as Jud lowers himself to his leather sofa, keeping me astride him. When I settle with my thighs spread wide around his hips, I’m embarrassed at how wet I am between my legs.

“I missed youthismuch,” he says with a lift of his hips. His hard thing—penis—nudges me. It’s still hard for me to talk about private parts, but it’s getting easier, little by little. Mentally, I snicker at myself, because there’s nothinglittleabout what I’m straddling right now.

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