Page 29 of Following Their Heart

“I said, relax,” he mutters, sounding half-asleep.

I can’t relax. I’m waiting for something to ruin this moment.

I’m still looking at Jud when his eyes pop open. “You’re not relaxing.”

I frown. “You don’t have to, like, do this. We can go. Didn’t you say something about checking on Scrap at the summit?”

His gaze zeroes in on mine. “There’s a ton to do. Yeah. But I’m not ready to leave yet. You know how bad I’ve wanted you all to myself? Now that I’ve got you, I’m not about to let you go the second after I get my rocks off. That what you think of me?”

“Uh—” Well, yeah. That’s what happened last time we were like this together. Though, last time, we didn’t have actual intercourse.

“Shit.” He lifts up on an elbow and studies me. His eyes widen with realization. “That is what you think of me.” He wipes a hand over his face. “Fuck.”

Here it is. I’ve upset him. He’s going to throw a man-trum and storm out on me, and I’m going to have to figure out how to use all that fancy communications equipment to call for one of the other guys to help me find my way out of the tunnels.

“Please don’t be mad,” I hurry to say. “It’s just—I know you don’t like to hang around…after. I don’t want you to feel like I expect it, or anything. Whatever you need, I’m good with it. I—”

“Baby.” His voice is sharp. “Stop.”

I cringe and curl into myself. Now I’ve done it. I’ve ruined this awesome day. I’ve ruined Jud’s good mood. He’s never going to want to spend time with me again, and that thought, more than anything, leaves me feeling like I’ve swallowed a brick of ice.

“Shit.” I’m only vaguely aware of the whispered curse. Blackness is coming for me, and I deserve it. I can’t do anything right with this man. I might be everyone else’s heart, but I’ll never be the woman Jud needs.

I’m surrounded by darkness. But I’m not cold. I’m warm. The darkness feels a lot like an embrace.

“Baby.” This time, the word is spoken with tenderness. “Don’t leave me. I can’t lose you. Not now.” Gentle hands pet my hair away from my face. Some of the strands want to stick to my skin. They’re damp from the effort I put into making love with this big, intense man. “Not when I’m trying so hard to be better for you. Not when that was the best fucking of my entire life.”

What? Really? That was the best sex he’s had? That’s hard to believe. I just kind of laid there. Well, I did lift my hips into his thrusts. I guess, I put in enough effort to leave my muscles sore. Wait. Did he say he’s trying to be better for me?

He cups my head in his hand. “Come on back to me, now. I need my kitten. I need you.” The last part is a whisper.

I turn my face to his.

His knuckles brush my cheek. The soft caress is so unlike him.

“I fucked up with you before. I’m working on it. Workin’ on being better for you. Bettertoyou.”

Did the Judge just apologize to me? I’m not sure what to say. His sweetness right now has me befuddled. “It’s okay,” I say.

Creases form beside his eyes, and he chuckles. “You look like you’re trying to figure me out.”

I guess I am. This guy knows how to keep a girl on her toes.

“Relax, if you can. C’mere.” He settles us under the blankets and holds me close. “Tell me about this dream you told Rev about. The pelican was in it, huh?”

“Um, yeah.” Really? Jud wants to talk and cuddle? After sex? Who would have thought?

As I tell him about my dream and Rev’s reaction to it, I start to do as he said. I relax.

Jud holds me, and he comments on my descriptions of what I dreamt. It’s like we’re having an honest-to-goodness conversation. We’re not flirting or discussing logistics or arguing. We’re just…talking. It’s nice.

I don’t know how much time has passed. There are no daylight cues because there are no windows down here. But it feels like it’s been a while. I’m a limp noodle in Jud’s arms, and his body is just as relaxed. All the muscle packed on his frame becomes kind of soft and welcoming. It molds to my shape as I rest against him.

“I’m starting to feel a little guilty,” I say, turning to face him. “The others are doing all the work, and we’re lying here being lazy.”

“Yeah.” He sighs. “Guess it’s time to get back to work.”

“Guess so.” I draw circles in his chest hair. I don’t really want to leave. This is actually pretty wonderful.

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