Page 80 of Following Their Heart

His hand freezes on my hair. He’s quiet a long time.

I wait.

“I don’t know,” he says, at last. “But I don’t have a good feeling about it. It’s like, forbidden-feeling. Like, that would be a perversion of my Gift. I don’t think bird souls and bird lives are on the same level as people, you know?”

I consider that, and I nod against his shoulder. I can’t deny I’ve been thinking about my parents and Casey. And Justin, wherever he is. I buried my parents and sister myself, so I know where they are. I thought, what if I bring Grim and Doc home, like, after we get Jud back and things are back to normal? What if they could use their Gifts to make my family live again? What if I could find the place where Justin’s body lays? He was at Tulane University in New Orleans when the Virus hit. With phone towers and internet down, I was never able to contact him. For a long time, I hoped he was alive, but then I accepted that the odds were ridiculously slim. I’ve accepted that my whole family is dead. But Grim and Doc using their Gifts today has made me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could be with them again.

But I guess not. Doc says the idea feels wrong to him, and I have to admit it feels wrong to me, too. I’m sure they’re all in heaven, and I don’t want to yank them away from that just so I can selfishly see them again.

Still. I miss them so much. What I wouldn’t give to have just one more day with them. One more day to hang out at home, making pancakes and playing board games. Watching movies, playing video games, gorging on pizza, and just being a family.

Doc sighs. “I get the temptation, though. I’ve been there, sweetheart. I’ve been there.”

That stops me. I pull back to look at him, and his face is sad. Of all the guys, Doc has told me the least about his past.

I touch his cheek. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Whoever it was, I can tell they meant a lot to him.

He looks down, then he forces a smile and meets my eyes. “Thanks.”

I can’t help my curiosity. “Was it the Virus? Or something else?”

He’s quiet for so long I don’t think he’s going to answer. But eventually, he says, “Something else.”

I nod and hug him.

He holds me tight.

“Come on,” he says after a while. “Let’s head upstairs.” We agreed to keep to the lodge at night, since there’s safety in numbers. So, I let Doc lead me by the hand to the dorm above the kitchen. None of the others have come up to bed yet, so it’s just us.

Wordlessly, he sets me on the bathroom counter and fills the sink with water. He begins shaving my legs, like the first time we spent the night together. When he’s done, he lies down with me in his bed, both of us fully clothed.

And even though I’m wet between my legs, and he’s hard against my hip, we go to sleep with nothing more than a chaste kiss.

Rev

“How’s it hangin’, kiddo?”I find Scrap in the lot. He’s perched at the top of a stepladder, leaning into Bessy’s engine cavity. He’s clipped a spotlight to a tow-truck parked nearby, and its harsh LED light cuts through the darkness.

His grease-smudged face pokes around the hood, which has its hinge in the front. “What’s up?” He greets me with a lift of his chin then returns his attention to Bessy. His manner is less chilly than when we met in this lot earlier, but I still sense his reserve.

“Real proud of you,” I tell him, coming around to support the ladder. “You pushed your Gift today, just like I asked.”

“I didn’t do it for you.” His shoulder works in jerking motions as he ratchets a bolt into place. “I did it for Jud.” He stands up tall on the ladder, stretching his back before climbing down. Ignoring me, he replaces the ratchet in his toolbox and latches the lid.

I fold my arms, watching him. “Long as you did it, I’m a happy camper.”

“As long as you’re happy,” he says, heavy on the snark. Giving me a wide berth, he lets Bessy’s hood slam shut with abang.

I’m not surprised my Scrappy boy’s still P.O.’ed about that kiss. Hopefully, what I have planned tonight will make it up to him.

“You done with Bessy?”

He nods. “Yeah. Wasn’t much to do. She’s in good shape, and my Gift is strong right now. The tune-up was a piece of cake. She’ll run like a champ on the trip.”

“No doubt. Are you thirsty?” I hold up the six-pack of IPA’s I brought from the lodge.

He eyes me warily. “You wanting to hang?”

“Wanna make that kiss up to you,” I say.

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