Page 45 of Following Their Heart

“You need to calm down,Druzhyna.” He tries to wrap me in his arms, but I push at him.

“No,” I say, certain. “I don’t need to calm down.Youneed to listen.” I make fists in his hoodie. “We. Have. To. Go. They need us.”

“There is nothing we can do. It is too dangerous. Leaving here is out of the question.” His face is pained, but his voice is firm in a way I’ve never heard it. “Even if you’re right,Druzhyna, I will die before I risk your life for theirs. You are safe here. We stay.” He flattens his hand on the door for emphasis.

Frustration makes my face hot. I hear a screech, and I realize it’s me! I sound like a wild animal demanding to be uncaged. I’m pacing and pulling at my hair.

If I stay down here, something terrible will happen. I know it to my bones. I also know we’re running out of time. Somehow, Ihaveto make Grim understand.

Chapter 18

Grim

This wild-eyed, ferocious animalis not my Cora. My Cora is level-headed and sweeter than sugar. The woman before me is a tigress wearing a rut in the earth behind her keeper’s bars. She is pulling at her hair, and I see strands hanging from her fists. And the sounds she’s making—they are primal. Unsettling.

I am worried for her.

She doesn’t want my touch, but I don’t know what else to do. I drag her into my arms. She fights to get free, but I’m not letting go. I refuse to let her hurt herself.

“Calm yourselfDruzhyna.I beg you to see reason.”

The look on her face tells me instantly that was the wrong thing to say.

“Reason? You’re the one not seeing reason!” Simultaneously, she snarls at me and shoves at me, but I refuse to release her. “The guys need us up there! They’re in trouble. They’re going to die, Grim! And if they die, I don’t—” My heart clenches painfully. “I don’t think I’ll be okay. I don’t think I can survive losing them.”

Her words are a blow across my jaw. They land with a force greater than her fists could ever muster.

I am not enough for her.

Her worry for the others proves it. She loves them. Maybe as much as she loves me. Maybe more. Rejection cuts through my midsection like a dull knife.

And then I despise myself. These thoughts are nothing more than a lover’s jealousy. I’ve always known I would have to share Cora. This is not news to me. What right do I have wishing to be her favorite, when every one of the others likely wishes the same? Besides, the men I share my Cora with—they are my brothers. She loves them, yes, but I love them, too. And she is right about this much: they are in danger while we are protected.

I worry for them, too.

If I truly believed they were in peril, I would be tempted to act against Jud’s orders. But I do not truly believe.

Cora is having some kind of panic attack. “Listen,Druzhyna.” I give her a shake to get her attention. She focuses on me, and I hurry to voice my concern. “Are you—” I don’t remember the English word. “Do you fear small spaces? You are panicking, love, and I worry you will harm yourself. Let’s breathe and calm you down.” I begin slow, deep breaths as an example.

She shrieks and pushes at me. “I’mnotclaustrophobic.” Ah. That’s the word. “If I was, I’d have gone crazy long before I got away from Leon.” I grow angry at the thought of her captor keeping her chained up, but she doesn’t let me dwell on it. “This isn’t panic. This is the Working. I’m sure of it. It’s warning me. The others are in danger, and they need us.Scrapneeds us.”

“Scrap?” Why does she single him out?

“Yes, Scrap. He needs help. Like, right now.”

I frown. This is an oddly specific thing to say.

She goes from pushing at me to clinging to me. “Please, Grim. I have this insane thought that I need to get to Scrap at any cost—I don’t know why he’s standing out in my mind more than the others. I justfeelit. Ihaveto get to him. It’s a matter of life and death.”

She seems impossibly certain. I can’t deny she has planted a seed of doubt in my mind. But… “Cora, you—” I search for a gentle way to say it. “You don’t have a Gift. Whatever you are feeling, we have no assurance it is true.” I wave an arm toward the radio. If only we could use it to find out how the others are faring. “Silence does not mean peril, my love. The others will be fine. They are strong. They are—”

“That’s it.” Cora interrupts me. Her gaze is on the radio.

“What isit?”

“The radio,” she says. “That’s why it’s Scrap who’s standing out in my mind.” Her eyes go wide, as if she has finally understood a mystery. “It’s the tech. The tech isn’t working! All the stuff Scrap set up down here is dead. In all the time you’ve been here, has anything built by Scrap ever failed?”

I have to think about that. “No. Never.”

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