Page 74 of A Festive Surprise

Chapter Twenty-Four

Holly

Holly stared at her reflection in the mirror in the toilets. She couldn’t hide in here all night. At some point, she’d have to face the music… or at least Farid. What he wanted was impossible. And love! It was laughable. He couldn’t possibly understand love. She’d had enough relationships over the years to know love didn’t exist. Or if it did, it didn’t last.

Lust existed. Companionship existed. Occasionally, the two overlapped for a while and gave the illusion of love. Her mind flew to Georgia and Archie, to Robyn and Carl and to the families she’d met at Santa’s grotto. Love existed for them, didn’t it? She braced herself on the tiled counter surrounding the large oval sinks. Bile rose. Oh no, was she going to throw up? Other people found love, she didn’t. Because love meant compromise. At twenty-six she’d been willing to sacrifice everything for Gavin but he wasn’t ready. Now she was thirty-two and a twenty-six-year-old was suggesting she took a chance on him. Could she?

Farid had the car. She had to go back with him but what would they talk about now? This was worse than Gavin-gate. She’d left that Christmas meal humiliated. Did Farid feel like that now? Had she just done the same thing to him? At least no one had overheard. She’d suffered the humiliation in front of the Sinclairs. But would everyone be asking questions? How would Farid reply?

Holly left the toilets and sidled into the main room, scanning around. Farid wasn’t at the table with Georgia. She was laughing with Archie and their friends. People were dancing to a different band and Magnus and Taylor Hansen were singing again. There was Farid standing at another table. His work colleague, Per Hansen, had his arm over Farid’s shoulder and seemed to be explaining something. Farid nodded and smiled along, but Holly knew him too well now; he wasn’t really listening. His mind was elsewhere.

Taking a long, deep breath, she approached. He saw her from well off but couldn’t move because of Per.

‘Hi,’ Holly said, and Per grinned.

‘Ah, here’s your lovely lady.’ He released Farid. ‘I’ll let the two of you catch up on your dancing and see you on Monday. It’s Christmas Eve, so we’ll clock off early.’

‘Thanks, and Merry Christmas to your family.’

Per clapped him on the back, leaving him to stare at Holly.

‘Can we go, please? I’m sorry to spoil the party.’ She looked at her feet.

‘Of course, let’s go.’

They collected their belongings from the table. Georgia stood to wish them a Merry Christmas and kissed Holly on both cheeks, whispering, ‘have a nice night,’ as she reached the second side.

Could Georgia have grabbed a more wrong end of the proverbial stick? Holly wasn’t going home for a night of passion with Farid. She was heading back to see if she could get a ferry off the island the following day and find somewhere else to hide for Christmas – maybe forever.

The silence of the journey home was absolute. The pitch black of the bleak mid-winter closed in around them like a noxious gas, suffocating them.

‘Holly,’ Farid said quietly as they approached the gates of Ardnish. ‘I didn’t mean to offend you, not in any way. I’m sorry my feelings are so awful for you to hear.’

‘They’re not awful. They just aren’t true.’

‘How can you say that? You don’t rule my heart.’ His tone was heated. ‘I know how I feel. You just don’t want to hear it.’

‘Is that what you think?’ Adrenaline spiked, blocking any chance of his words making sense but ensuring they battered every nerve. ‘What we had was good. Very good, and I’m not denying it. But it was lust, nothing more. I understand your position. You’re lonely. You want a way out. But it’s not me.’

‘That’s not what I’m doing.’

‘What?’

‘Trying to force you into a relationship so I can stay here. If that’s what you think, then you don’t know me at all. Never would I behave like that. The love I have for you is deep within and has nothing to do with where you live, what your country is, or anything like that. It comes from the feeling my soul has when it’s next to yours. On its own, it’s a half-life but with you, it’s complete.’

Holly held her hand to her mouth and stared into the blackness. Do not cry. His words cut so deep. They penetrated her half of the soul. But it was a dream, not reality. ‘One day you’ll find your true love. And then you’ll know it wasn’t me.’

‘Keep telling yourself that,’ he said, then muttered something in Arabic.

When they rolled up at the cottage, Holly turned to him; her hand shook as she fought to control it. The pain in her chest doubled. ‘Well… Bye.’

‘Goodbye, jamilati.’ He stared forward.

She unclipped her seatbelt and eased out the door.

‘AnaBahebek,’ he said as she closed it.

She ran up the path and into the house. Not even bothering with the light, she pulled off her coat and used the torch on her phone to get into her room. Throwing off her dress and shoes, she climbed under the bedcovers and trembled. She had to find the strength to get through this. She would and she could get over him. Holly Devaney was best on her own and she didn’t need a man to make her happy. No way. Why then couldn’t she convince her aching soul that was true?

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