Page 8 of Who I Crave To Be

I might try to run from myself and use dangerous situations to do it, but that’s just my pulse to life, not my suicide note.

"You're fucking beautiful, Vienna.The most stunning woman I've ever seen," Deano utters thickly like he just can’t believe I’m real, yet somehow those words travel on the wind and settle at home within my ears.

It’s so easy being everything for everyone else that you sometimes forget you just need to become something for yourself too.Something that ignites your desires and soothes your bone-weary soul.

After we drive for forty-minutes I can sense the change in the air.The saltiness of the ocean as it carries on the breeze.I open my eyes as the darkness of the smooth waves kissing the sand banks comes into view as we sail like a bullet through the night down the hill and along the shoreline.A few miles down the seafront, Deano turns and pulls down a rocky road that leads to the caves that I would have completely missed had he not taken the turn.We pull into another parking lot that is covered under a blanket of stars as he kills the engine and turns to me.

“I’m all for the adventure, but I don’t feel like fishing for my meal,” I joke and he retorts with a heart stopping smirk which sends the butterflies already in my stomach swarming to the beats of my frantic heart.

“It’s an idea, but I have another place in mind for our meal.”The shadows conceal half of his face as he exits the car and walks around to my door, opening and offering me a hand to help me from my seat.

I step out on shaky legs as I grip his hand tightly to stabilize myself.A shiver chases away the heat running down my spine as he steps into me and all the air is stolen from my lungs.

“So fucking beautiful,” he reiterates as his hand tangles within my ashy blonde strands.“Fuck it,” he utters brokenly before pressing his body into mine, backing me up to the side of the car and claiming my lips as his own.The heat burns and I know when he pulls away the feeling of him will always linger, burned into the aura of my very soul.

He pulls back, gazing into my eyes with a look of dazed bewilderment shimmering within his ocean depths.“So fucking sweet, Sin.You’re the breath I didn’t know I was being denied.”

I’m breathless when he delicately traces the seam of my bottom lip with his thumb, dragging it over my jaw and down my throat before he rests it against my wildly erratic pulse.He collars me gently, looking at me with a look that I think I’ll never be able to forget, not even if old age one day tries to fight me for them.

My bones will forever be etched with his name.

My soul will forever be painted with his touch.

Because he just realigned the stars.I haveneverbeen kissed like that before.

With a passion which stopped the world spinning on its axis.

My body aches as it arches into his firm, defined build of lean and hard muscles like it’s never ached before.

“Dinner will never be enough.Agree to be mine for the weekend, Vienna.Let us have this.Everything that is warming us in this moment,” he rasps and it skates across my throat and I shudder, a small whimper slipping past my lips, the very ones he instantly claims as he tries to capture the sounds within his blazing inferno.

I nod, unable to form words as he smiles at me like he is the lion about to bite the gazelle.

And fuck if I’m not practically bent over and offering my ass to him.

“I find that as much as I want you on my cock, screaming my name and clenching me tight around those slick walls that will only weep for me—so I’ll never have to find another safe haven again—that I want to give you everything as beautiful as you in this world even more.Even if nothing can ever be quite as close.”

The words brand me like a hot iron, knocking me on my ass andbrewing a concoction within me that sparks a war between my hormones and my heart.

The game has suddenly become dangerous, but aren't those the stakes I longed for?

It’s amazing how reckless you can become when one of the things you crave the most is the affection from someone who could dismantle you with one long and soul searing look.

It’s powerful and becomes a tempting hand that lures even the innocent women away.

He has the power to control me, to feed me with the confidence which will chase away my anxiety and make way for the freedom I long to be born.

“We’ll start here,” he offers as he takes me by the hand and leads me down a small pathway covered in sand.We skirt the perimeter of the beach, without having to cross the white sands as he leads me to a curved trail of gravel and rocks carved into the side of a cliff.It spirals downwards, deep into the earth and I wonder if we’ll end up in a cave under the sea.But when we reach the end, my jaw drops as a massive alcove hollows into a cliff, which sits wide open with luxurious dining tables and plush couch like seats.The entire space is bathed within candle light that has been placed throughout the small restaurant and in front of each table, sits a stone slab and a chef who is manning a grill.

I look over my shoulder, down the path as it continues right to the shore, back up the trail we traveled, back to the ocean, the cave restaurant and then to Deano completely and utterly stunned at something so beautiful.

“We won’t drown, don’t worry.It’s the one part of the beach that misses the tide.When it comes in, it forms a shallow pool down there,” he wraps an arm around my shoulders, turning me slowly and pointing towards the sand.When I look harder, I notice there is a divot in the ground and the sand curves like an open bowl.“The lay of the land is a little strange.The crevices of the dip fills with water and creates something that looks like a moonpool.It’s rather beautiful.”

I’m literally speechless and I gape with an open mouth.I never thought something so out of this world and utterly majestic could actually exist in this world.And so close to home also.We move inside and I notice a stand with a suited man standing behind it, showing people to their seats, when he turns and sees us his smile is genuine.He beams, his blond hair catching the light of the moon as he walks toward us.

Adam Jensen-“I’m A Sucker For A Liar In A Red Dress” plays lowly over the speakers set up via Bluetooth and one of the workers phones.

Resourceful.

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