Page 27 of Who I Crave To Be

My adventure wasn't found jumping from a cliff and shooting a gun, it came from him and being held within firm arms, making me feel like the world couldn't touch us and now I have to leave all of that behind.

When I'm with him, every second is an adventure and I live a thousand times over, swimming in his ocean depth, feeling like I'm swimming through the oceans of the world.

I have to leave behind the feeling of feeling like I was someone, even when I met him feeling like I was no one.

Someone, forgotten in a world swarming with people, I was nothing but an insignificant blip on the map.

Someone who could have anything if only I stopped making excuses.

If only I found a way.

If only I owned wanting to be free to feel the fall of desire, instead of feeling ashamed that I craved it at all.

My house comes into view as my body trembles, longing for the warmth of Deano.I wipe the tears from my eyes and pull his hoodie over my head, closing out the world.Squaring my shoulder I put the key into the lock and pushed the door open quietly.

My mother sits curled on the couch by a crackling fire, reading a book with a throw draped over her shoulders.When the door sounds she peers over at me over the rim of her dark reading glasses and smiles.

"Is he asleep?"I ask and she nods.

"Yeah, honey.He's asleep.Welcome home Haven, I hope you had a good weekend."

I'll never forget you.

Those are the words I woke to yesterday morning.A note, with the words,I'll never forget you.

The weekend was supposed to be easy, a deal for her to be mine and come Monday, we'll be back leading our lives, like we had never met at all.

It hadn't taken me the entire weekend to figure out that was never going to happen.

That she wasn't a woman I could ever tire of.

That I wanted more than those three fleeting nights we shared.

I want an eternity of her being mine.

Of tasting her sweet lips, addictive like a drug as her mere essence seeps unfiltered life.

Of touching her soft skin, smooth like satin and never wanting to touch anything else ever again.

Of hearing her laugh and seeing her smile.

Of seeing her face, and holding her close when we take the plunge, into the deep waters of the unknown.

I want everything with her, not just the quiet life I've always longed for but also the adventure that she craves, because now I crave it too.

I crave her.

She's the fire in my veins and the air in my lungs.

Because of her, I'm living just by breathing.

It didn't take me long to get her address from my connections.She was on surveillance at Pussy Liquor.

I didn't need anything else, just an address and my feet brought me here as if entranced, because I can't return to living unless she's by my side through it all.

I'm standing across the street of a two-story home, a modernly nice home with green grass covering the expanse of the front yard.A garage and a black picket fence, becausewhy?

I guess white’s overrated.

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