Page 17 of Who I Crave To Be

"Addicted?My beautiful Sin.You have no idea of true addiction.Of the craving I have for you.The need to taste you, please you.I'll never let you go.You're mine.You hear me?Mine!"he declares as he fucks me hard and fast with a desperation to touch parts of me that will never be free of his mark.

I bounce on his cock, the thick head hitting all the right places and I lean my hands on the dash and push back toward him with a tad of brutality.I don't want soft.

I want to feel all of him so viscerally that I can never wash away his scent.

"Say it, Vienna.Say you're mine!"

"I'm yours!"The words fall freely from my kiss-swollen lips.

Such a declaration is probably a mistake.He's in the mafia.He vows he's about the quiet life, but how true is that statement when he wants something and has probably never been denied anything in his life?

All thought escapes me.I'm free to be reckless, refusing to give my time to the thoughts that will be trivial come Monday when he's back living the high life and I'm back being me.

"Come for me, Vienna.Scream for me!"A rough hand fists the back of my hair, pulling me toward him forcing a gasp from my lips as I'm forced to arch in a way that pushes him inside me that much deeper.

"Deano!"I scream, my lungs tiring from the hoarse cries torn from my throat.

He grunts, painting my walls white with the evident need he has for me and I shudder at the sensation of him filling me.From the power which electrifies my veins at knowing it was my clenching cunt that had this quivering effect on him.

After we right ourselves and continue our drive through the forest, we part through the treeline into an open clearing, nearing the edge of a cliff.My heart races within my chest as my pulse thunders under my skin, wild with anticipation.

There's some kind of instructor standing on the edge surrounded by a group of five people.Men and women who listen intently to whatever it is he’s saying.Leaning forward, I practically fall from my seat as I itch to hear the warnings he’sissuing.

With eager eyes, I take in everything around me.I glance around and don't see much equipment.In fact, I don't see any at all.Only a large bungee cord with a single ankle strap.Licking my lips, I can already feel the rush as it teases me within the electrical current that surges through my veins.I tremble from the excitement, flexing my hands as they reach for the door handle.

"Scared yet?"Deano smirks and I bite my lip to keep from squealing like a little bitch.

I've always had the impulsive urge to give myself over to adrenaline junkie madness, but never had the means to do it before.I've always lived nine to five, keeping my head down and getting through life.Never living to my full potential or holding close the things I crave without an ounce of guilt in doing so.Because we don't have the luxury to live hard and fast in the real world.We have responsibilities and unwanted bills.I can't dedicate my time or money to feeding the part of my soul that feels like it's slowly dying under the suppression of being comfortable instead of being free.

Getting out of the car, Deano follows as I walk toward the cliff's edge.The rocks brittle under my bare toes as small grains break free and fall to the treacherous waters below.They dance wildly within the winds, sirens welcoming us into the depths that will forever keep a part of us.The air rushes around me, brushing against my cheek as it gathers my hair brushing it back over my shoulders as I close my eyes as they start to water.

The dryness in my mouth scratches the back of my throat and I wring my hands together, biting my lip, feeling ultra-aware as my heart begins to thump from the anticipation.

I'm light without vision as I feel the air calling to me with the promise of hurtling towards the unknown.

Large hands settle on my waist, pulling me back into his embrace as he embeds his nose to the crook of my neck and inhales deeply, sharing this moment with me.

"The restraints got you, give caution to the wind.Who's going first?"the instructor asks, pulling me from the calmness of my mind.I glance over my shoulder watching as he attaches a single strap to a woman's leg.It coils around her ankle and a little way up her shin with a thick underlying padding.

"Wait, no!I changed my mind.Both ankles."The woman rushes, horror and trepidation rippling across her pinched features as she glares at the edge like it's forcing her to walk a plank she'll never return from.

"Don't panic love, you got this, remember?Thirty has nothing on you.Just another strike on your bucket list," the man soothes from beside her as he waits for his ankles to be bound too.He tries to conceal his look of utter fear, but it's written in bulk across his worried face.

"Yeah, yeah of course.Thank you for making all of those wishes possible!"she gushes best as she can through her shaky breathing, broken in hesitation as she stumbles toward the edge.

"We only get to live once, right?"he replies, taking her hand and I smile.

They're nothing like me, I can't see the fire burning within their eyes.But I can see their ambitions.Their need to have a single memory to keep them warm for all the years to come, because for them, that one time will be enough.

I can only relate to a fraction of that.

"Wait- I- I don't think I can.I can't.Oh god!I can't do this," the woman shouts to the winds that swarm around us.The air gathers naturally at the top of a watered cliff.

"Oh my god!We're going to die!"the man screams as they both turn to retreat but the instructor shoves out both hands and sends them sailing over the edge.Their screams of terror screeching louder than the winds on their way down.

"Ah, they'll thank me for it later."He chuckles, waving it off before he sombers and glances at us."I'm joking.They opted for the oh shit method and signed a contract to back it up.I'm covered."He winks and Deano laughs, taking my hand and getting us in position to be strapped up next.

Our Last Night- “Bend The Knees” booms from the instructor's car that is running from the treeline where everyone else has parked.The lyrics fill the hollowness of my chest.

---