Page 11 of Who I Crave To Be

“Free of what?”

“Life.If even for a moment, I become nothing but want.I feel nothing but desire.I think nothing, because I know I am safe.I just want to be everything and nothing.To feel everything, yet be numb.I want adventure as much as I long for the silence.” I roll my head and open my eyes to stare at him as he watches me quietly.“What do I want Deano?I have no fucking idea.”

I cease breathing altogether when he pulls a gun from the small of his back.I fall into my seat, back pressed against the leather as everything around me crashes to a halt.The voices, the emotions, they all give way to the innocent deer caught in the headlights.Hostage to the moment when everything stops and all sound is stolen because if you even dare allow a breath to escape, it may just be your last.

“I think, as much as you wish the world will desire you, you want to desire yourself more.I think I could do anything I please to you, as long as I make you feel good.As long as the power sits within the diamonds on your crown.I can take away all of your choices, throw you into the throws of chaos and you’ll beg me to keep you prisoner, because sometimes, having no escape from such a simple life is too much of a wound to live with.”The words are spoken thick in lust, husky with the dryness of his throat and as true as the evidence of my arousal on his fingers.“I think, if I fucked you with this gun, you’d scream for me.You’d keep the memory close for all of time, because you flirted with death and got to live to tell the tale.Isn’t that what you want?A story which will forever be yours?”

“How do you know all of this?”I whisper, wondering if this is a dream and this man is nothing but an illusion I cling to.

“Because I want the same, but for different reasons.Because I lived the life you crave and found myself craving the silence and warmth of a home so much more instead.I’ll show you the allure of both, Sin.”

Says the man who carries a gun.

“I may be a simple man, Vienna.But I’m not a stupid one.The families fear me.I’m as free as I can be to live a quiet safe life.But I’ll still see myself protected.”He tips the gun, aims it at my waist before moving it in between my thighs.It is cold against the heat of my skin and the mix of temperature has my heart racing and my pussy fluttering.The barrel parts my folds, and I suddenly feel so fucking empty.There is a fear so potent in my chest, it flames within my veins.And I can’t decide what I want more.

To run, or to experience something I never thought humanly possible.

Will it hurt?

Can it fit?

Will I love it?

The anticipation has me flexing my hips and shuffling closer to the edge of the seat as an inch moves inside of me.It feels foreign as the burn rockets through my entire body.I breathe through my nose and force myself to relax.I wouldn’t say that it hurts, more that it feels strange.I take a moment to adjust, and when I do, the thought of what I’m doing alone is enough for me to take it that much deeper, aroused as I watch more of the black barrel disappear.I don’t take it more than an inch, I can’t.But an inch is all I need as the scandalous sensation rippling through me is enough to make my core pool in desire.

It’s so beautifully wrong and twisted, I’m fucking loving it.

Have you ever wished that the world and everything in it was your oyster?

That you can do something, just for the sake of proving you can actually do it?

I’ve never truly been a sexual person.

But I have wanted more than anything to be a primal creature without restraint, to be so in tune with my body that nothing I’m presented with could repel me.

To be so in control of my being and desires that nothing is undoable.

But I’ve also been so out of touch.Confined by my body's fears and restrictions.

Terrified to let go.

But tonight, I’m not me.I’m Vienna, the girl created from sin and when she’s afraid, she breathes through it.So caught up in holding firm her mask, she doesn’t have time to fear anything else.

“That’s it, baby.Be a good girl and open for me.You’re doing so fucking well.Seeing this greedy cunt, take the pleasure I force upon it, has me needing you more than I’ve ever needed anything.”There is an urgency in his voice that sounds almost desperate.It has me wanting to please him as he praises me in a way I never thought would have this kind of impulsive effect on me.

“Fuck, Deano.It burns.”I whimper, moaning as he flicks his wrist and hits me at a new angle.My thighs are tense as they fight the urge to close around the intrusion and keep it inside of me.“It feels so fucking good.”

“Such filthy words, spoken with such pretty lips.Touch yourself, Sin.Help me get you there,” he commands and I do as I’m told.“I’m man enough to know that sharing your pleasure is no match for commanding it.Use me and my gun like you used my fingers back at the club.”

Drawing circles with the soft pad of my thumb, I focus all of my attention onto my clit as I begin to thrust my hips in time with the barrel of the gun which has since heated to the warmness of my clenching channel.I’m wracked with violent trembles that force me to quiver where I sit, more delirious with desire than I’ve ever been as I come.

I can feel it as I squirt, the mess I make all over the interior of the car as I detonate like the cascading waters of a waterfall crashing over the cliff's edge.

“So pretty and glorious,” he groans, placing the butt of the now soaking barrel of the gun to my mouth.

I’m about to open when a thought occurs to my stupid, desire ridden brain.“Is it loaded?”

“Would it matter if it was?”he retorts.“My perfect, naughty, woman.You sin for me so beautifully.”

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