Page 35 of The Last Time You Break Me

My blood ran cold at the thought of another Black being out there. But not just another Black, a Black who was following in his daddy’s footsteps. I never got to butcher Frazier.

I was sure as fuck going to love mutilating his mini me.

“Great work. Have you told my father?”

“Yeah, he knows you’re gone as well. He wants you back at the house before he sends out a search party.” He chuckled, which made me huff a small laugh in return.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back to hear the war plan right after I knock out some teeth. I need a few more to finish my canvas.”

“You’re the only weirdo I know that uses human body parts in your artwork.” I could hear the grimace in his voice and it made me smile wider.

“That’s what makes me so damn unique. Wouldn’t you agree?” I teased.

“Sure is, boss, now hurry home because your pa is on the warpath.”

The line went dead and I let go of all the pretenses I held close for comfort. I fell to my knees outside the club, down the side of the alley and allowed the dirty bricks to bite into the tenderness of my brittle knees. I never cried and yet here they were, the tears as salty as the sea and as unwelcomed as when the heat clashes with the cold and created a tornado that devastated thousands.

I was at the center of the tornado right now as I allowed it to rip me apart at the seams. I could feel it, everything inside of me as it was torn to shreds in my grief.

I never dealt with my mother’s death. I never knew how. I lost myself in trying to rise, in trying to prove to myself and everyone around me I had what it took and most importantly, I did it so I wouldn’t die. I was drowning in the light before I allowed the darkness to save me.

I tried so hard to be normal and then I had the epiphany that changed my life.

There was no such thing as normal. It was subjected to the warped perspective of an individual mind. So, I put on my head-stomper boots and kicked some rival ass.

I became the person who I was always supposed to be and when I stopped fearing it, I began to understand that I wasn’t going to have to fight for the acceptance of my family.

I already had it.

All of this time I was only fighting for the acceptance of myself.

Maybe that was why I pushed Reggie so hard. Because once upon a time, Iwashim.

Reggie gave me the power and I wielded it like a blade.

He never hid. Lied about who he was to those around him. Only to himself. Tome.

He wore that joker smile, proud of his chest coated in blood.

But now, all of that hard work was fading fast.

I felt like the vulnerable little girl again who had scraped her knee and forced the tears to come just so her mother would hold her. I cried even harder when I smelled her. The subtle smell of roses and honey drifted on the wind and wrapped around me and it was a sensation more than I could handle. I jumped to my feet and charged through the doors. My body recoiled as it shivered under the aspiration and I ran from it.

I ran as hard and as fast as I could.

Away from the spirit of my mother.

The Gate, also known as ‘The Club’ or ‘Fight Club’ was owned and ran by us. We had called it The Gate because in that cage, when you fought your opponent, it took you to the gates of Hell themselves. You felt the burn and you never left without the brand of the devil on your skin.

I charged through the boisterous crowd who grunted and groaned in my direction before they saw who I was and retreated, clearing the path and casting weary glances as my fury and devil-etched, tear-stained face. I bolted up toward the cage and forced Chilly to open it. As I stalked inside, the fighters grounded to a halt and stared back at me. Uncertain as to what the fuck was happening, they both dropped their heads in respect.

“Didn’t know you were on the books tonight, Lara,” Johnny said as blood oozed from his open wound along his brow.

“Now I am and I want to fight the both of you. Don’t pull your punches or I’ll break your Goddamn wrist, got it?” I hissed as I got myself ready.

“Sure thing, boss,” Eddie ventured tentatively as he shared a horrified look with Johnny.

I never gave them a chance to retreat or rethink. I let the monster out and I allowed the berserker within me to soar.

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