Page 111 of Laurels and Liquor

Lydia

Ahandaroundmythroat. Sharp pain in my arm. Laughter, taunting. Shadowy hands push and shove me until I’m on my hands and knees, tears splashing onto the plastic below me.

Lie down and take it, you omega bitch.

The weight of the gun in my steady hands, unflinching as I fire over and over, the shock ricocheting up my arms. The acrid burn of gunpowder in the air. Muddy brown eyes staring up at me but never seeing again. Red hair. Blood. So much blood.

This is what you deserve.

There’s no one here to save you.

Alone. Friendless. Packless.

Pain as my bonds shred, disappearing before my eyes.

Dead eyes. So many dead eyes.

“Come back, love. We’re here,” Rhett mutters in my ear, pulling me from my nightmare.

A warm touch, not on my skin but in my soul, brushes away the lingering fear, and I swallow, trying to rehydrate my desiccated mouth. I open my eyes and I find him immediately, his icy-blue gaze full of worry even as our repaired bond hums with soothing calm. I roll over and snuggle close, letting him wrap his arms around me as I bury my nose in his bare chest. His scent of leather and old books and dark chocolate helps to slow my frantic heartbeat, and the traces of pine smoke and even honey work like a tonic on my nerves. I wouldn’t be smelling those unless the bonds were repaired.

Everything is normal for the first time in days, but it’s not like last time. I feel like I’m covered in a thin exoskeleton of sweat and various other bodily fluids, but there’s no driving need in my chest to get clean. In fact, anything that would take me out of physical contact with my pack sounds like the worst possible thing right now. I lift my head up as a bolt of worry shoots through me, but it passes just as quickly as I see Lucas and Mateo cuddling nearby, Lex barely visible between them. Before I can even voice the need, Rhett rolls us until my back is touching Lucas’s back, settling the little restless tickle in my chest at last.

“Are you hurting at all?” Rhett asks, nuzzling against my neck.

Shaking my head, I close my eyes for a moment. I’m sore, but it’s not unbearable. My shoulder hurts the worst, but I’m sure a few painkillers will take care of that. As I take stock of my body, I realize how many bite marks I have on my arms, chest, stomach, thighs, and other places I can feel but can’t see. I look at one of the random bruises, the teeth marks still visible even though they didn’t break the skin, and then back up to Rhett pointedly.

“We wanted to make sure the bonds stuck.” Rhett chuckles, his cheeks a little flushed.

I giggle and tentatively search in my heart for the places I was used to feeling my bonds. Bone-deep relief floods my system as I feel four bonds, three bright and strong, the fourth less bright, but still rock solid. It worked.

“Are you okay? With… what happened?” Rhett questions, drawing my attention back to his face.

I bring my fingers up and brush them over the worry line between his brows, not stopping until his face is smooth. Only then do I smile and stretch my neck up to kiss him. When I pull away, I stroke my fingers through his beard absently, making him purr into my palm as I try to sort through my feelings.

Before I met Pack Saint Clair, the idea of bonding with anyone terrified me to my core. But they proved themselves worthy of my trust and my love over and over again. Every time they stopped to really listen to me, and hear what I said, or when they took my refusals at face value, and didn’t pressure me into changing my mind. Those bonds were worth facing my fears to save. While I don’t remember much of the aftermath, I was aware enough during the process to know how much care my alphas took to make sure I had ways to communicate if I needed to stop or if I reached my limit. And I know in the deepest part of my soul that if their efforts to force my heat instead forced me into a panic attack, they would have stopped and would have never blamed me for it not working.

“I know it wasn’t easy, for me or for anyone. But it wasn’t like before. I never felt unsafe or unloved. I knew you would take care of me and… I think I needed that. Now I can put my past well and truly behind me, and we can move on together, as a family,” I say, picking my words with care.

Rhett hums his agreement, burying his face in my hair, kissing my temple every now and then as we sit in silence for a few long heartbeats. I can almost hear his brain working, but I leave him be. Forcing me into heat goes against everything Rhett stands for, even if he was acting with my permission.

“I almost couldn’t do it. You mean so much to me, and I never want to put you in a position where you feel you can’t say no,” Rhett stammers, words tumbling out.

I brush my fingers along his cheekbone, careful of the tender bruise forming there. His black eye is fading to yellows and greens, but the colors only make the blue of his irises more intense. I stare into them for a long while, getting lost in the depths, swallowed whole by the love pouring out of them. But as I pull back, I smile softly.

“And it’s because you feel that way that I knew I was safe. Even though we didn’t have time to plan or prep, we still had so many safeguards in place. My mind and my heart knew what had to be done. We just needed to convince my body to get with the program,” I say, ending with a little laugh.

Rhett chuckles at my joke before falling silent. His lips brush my hairline, forehead, cheeks, and then finally, he presses a tender kiss to my lips. I close my eyes and bask in the taste and warmth of him, the way he guides me through the motions, the feeling of his tongue on my bottom lip, always asking permission. And I open for him gladly, like I know I always will.

When we pull away, Rhett leans in and rests his forehead against mine. “Thank you for trusting me, trusting us with that,” Rhett mutters.

“Thank you for trusting me, too,” I reply, closing my eyes and smiling.

We settle back into silence, and the steady thump of Rhett’s heartbeat nearly drags me back under, but then Lucas turns over, gathering me up in his arms. I laugh a little as he smiles against my skin, nipping at it gently.

“You’re not hot,” he mutters, gravelly with sleep.

I let out a sarcastic scoff, rolling my eyes and making Rhett laugh. “Gee, thanks. I know I’ve had a rough few days, but—”

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