Page 105 of Laurels and Liquor

“I thought I lost you, Lydi-bug. I can’t feel you, I can’t—”

“I know, Luc. I’m sorry,” I hush, my ribs protesting as he squeezes me tight, like he’s afraid I’m going to float away.

“I hate this, hate not being enough—”

“No, don’t say that. I love you just the way you are, Lucas,” I protest, shaking my head.

“I love you so much, Lydia. I need you, but I can’t—I can’t be what you need,” Lucas goes on, like he can’t or won’t listen to me.

“You are enough, Lucas. You hear me? Look at me,” I say, much firmer, pulling away to take his face in my hands. “I don’t need another alpha, I need you. I need my beta, who knows me better than I know myself, who can always make me feel better, even before we had the bonds. I don’t need a bond with you to know you love me. You show me every day, and that’s enough. I love you, Lucas Klausen.”

“But if—”

I cut him off with a kiss, the metallic tang of his blood only enhancing his smoke and sugar flavor. It’s not a long kiss, but it does the job, and Lucas’s shoulders slump. I don’t delude myself into thinking this is over, but only time is going to reassure him if the bonds can’t be fixed.

“Thanks, Gid. Oh, fuck you, you little shit… Yeah, yeah. Just text me when it’s done,” Lex says, hanging up her call with an angry press of her thumb.

We all turn to her, and she sighs, running a hand through her hair. I frown as I see the bruises forming around her throat, the distinct finger-shaped splotches making my temper flare all over again.

“Well? What did they say?” Rhett asks urgently.

She doesn’t speak for a moment, then turns to Caleb. “Do you think you’ll be able to wait here for a bit? My cousin is calling in some friends to… take care of this,” she says, swallowing with some difficulty.

Caleb nods, eyes bright with emotion. “I’ll use the time to think of what I’m going to put on my expense report when I have to replace my weapon,” he says dryly.

I want to laugh, but Lex’s face gives me pause. At last, she turns to us. “There might be a way, but I’m not sure if you’ll like it,” she says.

Chapter fifty-six

Mateo

I’msqueezedintothebackseat of Lex’s car as we race back to the pack house. Rhett is just as cramped as I am, but with Lydia in the middle seat, I don’t mind as much. I can’t stop touching her, trying to maintain the tenuous connection between us. We grabbed the first aid kit out of Caleb’s SUV, and we’ve more or less patched ourselves up. My face is sore, but thankfully, it seems like nothing’s broken. Rhett has a black eye forming, but he’s holding a disposable ice pack over it to keep the swelling down. Lydia’s shoulder is the worst of the physical wounds, but between the two of us, Rhett and I managed to get it bandaged. We’ll have to see if it holds up, or if we need more advanced medical care later. Right now, we have more pressing concerns.

The silence is charged as we wait for Lex to speak. She refused to give details of whatever her cousin and his friends told her could help us until we were in private, and each moment she doesn’t talk makes me want to scream with frustration. We’re almost halfway home, and she’s still staring out the window like she’s waiting for a miracle to jump out of the tree line and into our path. Lucas clears his throat, and it seems to break whatever spell she’s under.

“The bond breaker Seth got from Brazil isn’t as strong as the medical grade stuff we were given, so Rhett, you shouldn’t lose your bond with Lucas if we’re fast. Lydia getting three doses is a concern, but mostly because it’s impossible to know if that shit was laced with anything without lab testing,” Lex starts, speaking to the windshield as she concentrates on the road.

My heart drops, and my grip tightens slightly on Lydia. She’s shivering, from nerves or the cold, I’m not sure, but I rub her skin to warm her up, regardless.

“What do you mean, if we’re fast?” Rhett asks, words more of a growl.

“That’s the part you’re not going to like. We need to reestablish the bonds, and we need to do it tonight. And to do that…”

“I need to go into heat,” Lydia mutters, saying what Lex won’t or can’t.

Lex trails off, audibly swallowing and nodding. My tired mind is slow to work, and I feel like I’m missing something. Instinctually, there’s an unease building in my chest, and I can’t put words to the source of the feeling. But I don’t get to puzzle it out as Rhett’s growl rattles the silence.

“No, we find another way,” Rhett interjects firmly.

“What happens if we don’t?” Lucas questions.

Lex sighs, rolling through a stop sign without hesitation. “The bonds would break for good. We’d all have to take another dose and start over. And even then, there’s a significant chance that the next time we try to bond, it won’t work.”

I swallow hard and look down at Lydia. Even in the darkness of the car, with only the occasional streetlight to see by, I can see the fear on her face. A little bubble of hope forms in my chest as I feel the flickering of our bond, and I try to soothe her gently. Though I can’t tell if it works, because her expression doesn’t change. The wheels are starting to turn, and I furrow my brow in concentration.

“I won’t go into heat again naturally for a while. Months, at least,” Lydia rasps, barely above a whisper.

“I know, sweetness. That’s… that’s the part I don’t like, but I can’t see another way,” Lex says, voice cracking with unshed tears.

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