Page 90 of Laurels and Liquor

“Wait… Delano is the mob guy? I would have thought it was Hunter, for sure,” Mateo splutters, perking up a little.

“You’ve met them?” I ask sternly.

Mateo looks at me and ducks his chin, shame and guilt coming back after that brief moment of curiosity.

“They didn’t give me much to go on, but I did my own research. Delano is the son of Alonzo Argentieri, the current head of the family. He and Gideon were school friends, along with Hunter Navarro. Hunter now runs a funeral home and crematory in Baltimore,” Lex explains.

“They were there when we took the bond breakers,” Mateo adds, not looking at me. “That weekend we went to Savannah. We made sure we were seen looking at property on that first day, made purchases with our credit cards, laid a paper trail so wide you could see it from space. But then that night, we went to my beach house to hunker down as the drugs worked.”

The scale of this operation just keeps expanding, and I feel almost ashamed of myself for not putting the pieces together sooner. In hindsight, it all makes sense. Being out of town is an excellent alibi, and by not telling Lucas or me about it, we didn’t have to lie to the police.

“Why didn’t you tell me about any of this sooner?” I ask slowly, trying not to put any inflection on the words.

Lex sighs and rubs her face, smudging her eyeliner slightly. It almost annoys me to see it because Lex should never look anything less than perfect. And seeing her weary expression, the shadows in her eyes, along with that streak of black, is almost too human for my goddess. Subconsciously, I send a whisper of calm in her direction, and the way her shoulders sag tugs at my heart. She’s been so strong for us, done all this in the name of protecting us.

“I could never decide if I wanted to take this to my grave or tell you at the first possible opportunity,” Lex says, not really an answer, but the uncertainty and fear across our bond clarifies.

“She didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to do it,” Mateo says, picking up where Lex trails off. “If there had been another way to keep you safe, and get rid of Seth, then she…wewould have done it in a heartbeat. But we made the choice, and we knew how much it would hurt everyone when you found out.”

Lex doesn’t deny any of it, and my heart pulses with empathy. She only ever wanted to do right by us, and did what she thought she had to. She goes on to explain the details of the deal, how Seth got paid and has had to start over outside of the US, how she’s been having him monitored through intermediaries, so she’s not technically breaking her side of the no-contact agreement but she’s still able to keep an eye on him. As of her last check-in, he’s currently in Brazil, which is all well and good, but it’s a bit of a cold comfort.

All it would take is for him to send out one status, one picture, one little tweet, and his ravenous fans would go back to harassing me, or worse. He’s proven that he doesn’t need to be physically present to make my life a living hell, and that he’s perfectly content with letting people commit atrocities in his name. My best friend and my adoptive grandmother lost their business and home because of Seth’s fans, and the only reason things died down was because Seth had to go into hiding to avoid arrest. I can only imagine the devastation that would come down on us if that pack of jackals ever found out that Pack Saint Clair forced their false idol into exile.

Over time, I’m sure he’d find someone new to victimize, but I’m going to have to live with the fear of his return for the rest of my life. Maybe there would be days, months, even years where I could forget about him, but I’d never be able to shake that feeling of knowing someone out there hates me and wishes harm on me. I’d have to look over my shoulder every time I leave the house, just to make sure I’m not being stalked again. How am I supposed to live like this?

“Lydia, I know what I did is wrong. I broke my word to you, and that’s not okay, regardless of the reason, and I’m so, so sorry for keeping this from you for so long. But now you know. All of you know everything. If you want to be included in the updates I get on Seth’s location and activity, I’m more than happy to include you. This is the last time I will ever hide anything from you,” Lex finishes emphatically.

I sit with her words for a long time, not responding. The initial flood of anger is gone, and I can tell how awful my mates feel about this, their pain a dull throbbing in my chest. Lex’s passionate words are backed up by her conviction and true remorse. All of them feel like that, and it’s hard for me to ignore that and stay mad. I’m hurt, and they know it. Lex truly believed she didn’t have any other options, and did this horrible thing because she loves me and wants to protect me. And realistically, is there anything I wouldn’t do to protect my pack? Any lie I wouldn’t tell, any crime I wouldn’t commit if it meant keeping the people I love safe? So how can I stay angry at them for trying to do right by me.

“I’ve been burned too many times after giving second and third chances to people who broke their promises to me,” I start, speaking to a spot on the carpet near the center of the space.

Everyone tenses and seems to hold their collective breath as they wait for me to go on. I can feel Lex and Rhett already panicking, and Mateo’s despair, as he braces for the worst.

“Don’t burn me again,” I finish.

There’s a scramble of bodies toward me, a babble of overlapping voices as everyone thanks me for my kindness, promises to do better, declares their love for me, saying all the right things. And even if the damaged part of my heart is screaming at me not to believe them, that words are empty promises and that they’re going to hurt me again, I let myself believe them. Their words mean something, but the bonds and what they bring to me mean more. There’s no duplicity or malintent, just relief and love and gratitude.

“We don’t deserve you,” Rhett mutters under his breath.

I flush a little, hiding my face as a pulse of deep, all-consuming love hits me from his bond. The others echo the feeling, agreeing without speaking. God, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.

Suddenly, Lucas gasps, pulling me from my thoughts. “Oh, my God, guys. This is our first fight as mates, and first make-up session,” he coos overdramatically.

A small chorus of laughter fills the air, and the last bits of lingering tension fade away. We still don’t move, physical touches and emotions bouncing from person to person, bond to bond. Somewhere in the tangle, I smell mulled wine and smoke, then the brush of lips caressing my hairline.

“Thank you, Lydia,” Lex whispers in my ear.

My heart warms, feeling what she’s not saying. So many people have run out on her, and her gratitude for my forgiveness runs deep, almost as deep as her love for me. That feeling is enough to help me settle into their arms for the rest of the flight.

Chapter forty-six

Lydia

Forafewdaysafter we get home from Louisiana, every shadow, loud noise, and errant leaf in the breeze makes me jump out of my skin like I’ve been shot. I don’t leave my room for a while, but after a good round of self-castigation, I manage to suck it up and try to return to my life. Lex offers me security again, and it’s tempting, but I decline. I need to figure out a way to live with this knowledge, and not let fear rule my life. Hiding is tantamount to admitting defeat, and I can’t let that sick bastard win. Not again.

So, I try to find a routine, going to the Magnolia Garden in the mornings to check on progress, and then to the new shop to hang out with Gabby, or to visit Sylvie and the baby, Olena Marie, in the afternoons. I’m borrowing Rhett’s car for the time being, not quite comfortable with the idea of spending my trust fund yet. I could buy a dozen cars if I wanted to, but if I spend the money, then that makes it real, and I’d much rather pretend like it doesn’t exist. Or even better, let Lex use it to pay for the Garden’s restoration. But she won’t agree to that plan, so in the bank it’ll sit.

Lex keeps her word over the next week or so, giving me updates about Seth’s movements as she receives them from her cousin. I’ve yet to speak to the man, but I’ve been assured that it’s for the best. Mateo described Gideon as what Lex would be like if her heart pulled a reverse-Grinch and shrunk three sizes, and the woman herself didn’t disagree. The updates aren’t especially interesting, just that Seth is partying and living large in Brazil. It irks me that he gets to live the high life on my pack’s money, but as long as he stays far away from us, then I suppose I can live with it. And having the confirmation that no one has made the connection between this new party animal in the Brazilian club scene and Seth’s former influencer career helps me feel more comfortable when I’m outside of the pack house. The attention from the gossip magazines and his fans has all but disappeared now that there’s no juicy drama to follow. Instead, they have to focus on things I’m doing, like the restoration.

---