Page 81 of Lavender and Lightning

“Why don’t you want to stay?” I ask, voice cracking and fresh tears sliding down my face.

Lex’s face goes slack, all of the anger disappearing, but it somehow doesn’t matter. She still hasn’t answered, and that speaks volumes. She wants to leave, but we need her. Do we not matter to her? Are we not important enough for her?

“I—I can’t. If I don’t do this, then—”

“Then what, Lex? We’re asking you, begging you, to stay and be here with us, and you can’t turn off for one God damn day to just mourn with us,” Lucas says, stepping toward Lex.

She shakes her head and looks at the floor for a moment. Her hands smooth over the thighs of her pants—the same slacks she’s been wearing since she kissed me goodbye at work yesterday morning. She turns around and grabs her coffee off the counter.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be back as soon as I can, but—”

“No!” Lucas screams, advancing on her.

His hand is on her wrist, stopping her in her tracks, but she loses her grip on the handle of the mug. It continues another few feet before it shatters on the hardwood, dark liquid spreading like blood on the floor. I yelp and Mateo’s arm pulls me into his chest, his protective growl vibrating my teeth as I press my face into his shirt. Rhett’s chair scrapes on the floor, and he moves halfway toward where Lucas and Lex are having their standoff. She looks ready to start throwing punches, but Lucas doesn’t seem afraid. If anything, his face is sad, and maybe a little disappointed.

That expression drags something out of the depths of my mind that I haven’t felt in a long time. Watching as Lex stares up into Lucas’s face, his hope that she’s going to change her mind crumbling and dying with each passing heartbeat makes me clench my fists tight. She’s hurting him, telling him he doesn’t matter when he does. He’s so important to this pack, and to me, and my control breaks as a single tear slides down his face.

“Let her go if she wants to leave so bad,” I call out, voice sharp.

Lex, Lucas, and Rhett all turn to me, but I make sure I’m looking Lex in the eyes. Her mouth falls open a little, but I don’t want to hear her right now. My mind is a war of emotions, but I can’t focus on any of them except anger. Anger is easy right now. Anger doesn’t make me think, or hurt.

“If she’s so determined to put us at the bottom of her priority list, then let her go. We can take care of each other if she won’t,” I continue, looking at Lucas as I finish.

“You’re not understanding, Lydia. I need to do these things to protect us. If I don’t—”

“I’m understanding you just fine, Alexandra. What we’re going through isn’t as important as whatever the fuck you need to do at the office,” I spit, holding Mateo a little tighter.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she retorts, focus shifting to me as she takes a step in my direction.

“I just had to watch your ex and his stupid cult burn down my best friend’s house and livelihood, the one place that’s truly felt like home since I walked away from my family. Months and months of Rhett’s hard work is gone, the people you claim to want to help, looking to him and Mateo and Lucas in their darkest hour. All because the sociopath you refuse to deal with has it out for me! And you can’t spare one day, even a few hours of your precious time, to be here for us when we need you? Some prime alpha that makes you,” I snarl, turning my back to her, dismissing her.

There’s a heartbeat where no one moves. Even the clock in the other room seems to freeze and inhale. And then Alexandra’s snarl slices through the silence like a claymore. I look up in time to watch her lunge for me, and my blood goes cold. Her eyes are wild, almost unhinged, tears slipping freely down her cheeks. She makes it two steps before Rhett is there, catching her wrists as she raises a hand.

“Absolutely the fuck not, Lex,” he says, voice a low, dangerous growl.

Mateo’s lips brush against my hair for a moment before he’s gone, jumping over the back of the sectional and closing the distance between us and Rhett in three long strides. The three alphas stand nearly chest to chest, looking between themselves with narrowed angry eyes. I can smell the burning paper, baking grass, and smoky cloves billowing off of them and filling the room. Alexandra moves first, ripping her hand out of Rhett’s grip and stepping back.

“I’m going—”

“No, you’re not. Not without talking first. You never answered Lydia’s question,” Rhett says firmly, stepping around to block her from going out of the mudroom door.

“What question? It seems like she’s been making more accusations than—”

“Finish that sentence, Lex. I fucking dare you,” Mateo snaps, stepping up to stare down at her.

I never realized how small Alexandra truly is until now. She’s always wearing heels, and her aura alone is enough to make most people feel three inches tall. But now, seeing her blinking up at Mateo, I realize the top of her head only comes up to his nose. She swallows and breaks eye contact first, turning back to Rhett.

“Remind me, if you please,” she deadpans.

I manage to contain my wince, heart thumping painfully at her dismissal.

“What is so fucking important that the needs of your pack, the needs of your omega and your beta, have to be put on hold?” Rhett asks, slowly and clearly.

Alexandra has the decency to look at least mildly ashamed as she flicks a glance at Lucas and then at me before returning to look Rhett in the eye. I can almost see the walls rising in her eyes, shutting us out.

“Seth. He’s clearly behind this, so I need to find the connection,” she says with a heavy sigh.

“Even if you find it, will you actually do anything about him?” Mateo sneers, stepping back and turning halfway away, his eyes finding mine for a moment before returning to Alexandra’s face.

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