Page 78 of Lavender and Lightning

“That blog… is it–”

“Seth? I think it is, just based on my knowledge of his writing quirks,” she finishes for me.

I close my eyes, the edges burning, but I have no tears left to cry. Misery sinks deep into my bones. There isn’t any denying it now; this is all my fault. I wasn’t careful enough, cautious enough. I let myself get wrapped up in my feelings for this pack, and innocent people have paid the price. Pure luck kept anyone from getting hurt or killed tonight.

“I should have gone to Atlanta when you gave me the chance, never should have let things get this far,” I whisper, voice cracking as my heart throbs in my chest.

“Lydia, that’s not–I thought we talked about this,” Lex counters, voice breathy with disbelief.

Shaking my head, the words die in my throat as the weight of everything that’s happened over the last few weeks crushes my soul. I should have trusted my instincts and run. Staying hidden kept me safe, and staying with this pack only served to paint a massive target on my back, and the backs of everyone I love.

“I can’t be responsible for more pain, more destruction,” I mumble, trying to keep it together as best as I can.

“This isn’t your fault–”

“Then whose fault is it? Seth’s? Because this never would have happened if I’d just left,” I interrupt, my body managing to find the moisture for another tear to slide down my soot-covered face.

“You can’t know that. And Seth isn’t your responsibility,” Lex growls, not looking at me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, moving closer to Gabby and closing my eyes.

I can feel Lex staring at me, but I don’t move. Eventually, she stands and walks away, which is fine. It’s better this way.

thirty-three

Mateo

Afterhoursofdieselengines and radio chatter, the silence that settles when the last police cruiser leaves State Street rings in my ears, almost like I’d been knocked silly by a sucker punch to the side of my head. Exhaustion weighs on me, but I know it’s almost over.

I’ve been coordinating with Rhett and Lucas at Wickland House to get rooms for the families that the fire has displaced, making sure everyone could leave when they were ready and had somewhere to go until we could sort out other arrangements if they wanted. The sky is a dull gray, the sun only an hour or two from rising. I pat the roof of the taxi twice before stepping back, sending off the last couple. The only ones left on the sidewalk are my pack and the Fitzgeralds.

My heart twists as I look at where Lydia and Gabby sit on the edge of the curb. They have been in and out of consciousness, all the while holding each other as if letting go would cause the other to disappear. Wila had moved to the bench behind them, but she’s still staring at the hollow shell that was once her beloved flower shop.

I sigh silently, glancing around. Lex has been on her phone nearly constantly, filing claims, talking with lawyers, and just generally doing anything to distract herself from the emotions of tonight. I want to take the device away and chuck it down a sewer drain, but that’s not a fight worth starting right now. I can’t think of anything more important than the people around us, any phone call that couldn’t possibly wait until we’ve had a moment to process this fully. Then again, I’ve never understood how Lex can compartmentalize all the trauma Seth’s put us through over the last three years and not let it drag her down into a pit of despair. My eyes catch on the flaking paint that somehow survived the blaze, and I have to look away.

OMEGA WHORE

Seth has gone too far this time. I don’t care anymore what it will take, but we have to get rid of him once and for all. Even if he didn’t personally set this fire, he is still the one responsible for the damage.

“Sit with me for a minute, boy.”

I turn at the gravelly whisper to find Wila looking at me, her wise face heavy. I nod and mutter a ‘yes, ma’am’ before taking a seat beside her on the cold bench. We’re quiet for a while, but I don’t want to disturb the stillness in this pre-dawn moment.

“I don’t care what it takes, what you have to do, but you’re going to protect my girl, you understand?” she whispers.

“Yes, ma’am,” I respond, not hesitating for a moment.

“When I first met her, Lydia couldn’t work the counter, too afraid of any alpha that came in. We can’t let her go back to that place,” Wila goes on.

I nod silently, realizing that she’s speaking more to herself than to me. But I feel the depth of her words in my chest, and I don’t even hesitate before swearing to do just that. I’d do anything for Lydia.

“I moved all the important things to a safe deposit box a few years back after someone tossed the place while me and the girls were out of town. There are some pictures, old keepsakes that are lost, but that’s just life, isn’t it?”

I look at her curiously, not sure how to respond. Wila looks at me, her little smile holding so much wisdom and sadness that it nearly knocks the wind out of me.

“We do our best to remember, but in the end, it’s all just a blip in time. We have to do the best we can in the here and now. Love the people in our lives while they’re here,” Wila explains softly.

We both look back to where Lydia and Gabby are curled up in a tight embrace, their limbs entwined tightly. Their breathing is even and slow, and I can’t help but smile fondly at them.

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