Page 45 of Lavender and Lightning

“Your play with Rhett has been structured and controlled, with plenty of protocols and rules. I can sense that you need that from him; a way to let go and just feel without having to think. With me, you’ll get a different sort of escape. I want you to give in to your primal instincts, to have no shame in being what nature made you to be. Is that something you would be interested in exploring with me?”

I gasp aloud, my entire body tingling with awareness as I listen to her voice morph from the sophisticated, polished cadence I know into something entirely more… feral. Her pitch drops, her accent making the words that on their own wouldn’t be all that scandalous into something decadent and filthy. There’s a subaudible rumble that travels from my core, up my spine, and into the deepest part of my nature. The part that sees the apex predator wrapped in designer silk and wants me to throw myself at her mercy.

“I—I’ve never done anything like this before,” I stutter once I’ve gained some semblance of control over myself.

“Primal play?” Alexandra asks curiously.

I shake my head. “I’ve never… been with a girl—a woman before,” I admit, voice dying to an embarrassed mumble as I tear my eyes from hers.

I expected more silence, but Alexandra laughs, a light, cheerful sound that makes my stomach flutter. “That’s not a problem, sweetness. I’m happy to help you learn and explore.”

And why does such a simple sentence set my skin alight, making me both nervous and aroused at the same time?

“For today, what I want you to do is very simple, and won’t involve anything sexual,” she continues.

The fire in my gut banks with disappointment, though I shove that feeling aside for examination later. I nod, moving to the edge of my seat. I try not to seem too eager, but right now, I’m willing to try anything she asks.

Alexandra’s smile is serene, but my primal mind senses something almost dangerous on the edge of it. She motions me forward with a single crook of her finger, and like a puppy on a leash, I obey. I round the desk and stop as I see a padded mat and a foam block on the floor beside her chair.

“You are to sit for me and follow my instructions. Can you do that for me, sweetness?” she prompts, voice almost a coo, but too sharp for something so tender.

“Yes, ma’am,” I whisper automatically.

She gives me a moment to find a comfortable position, and I settle on the waiting pose Rhett taught me. I use the block to make sitting back on my heels more comfortable, spreading my knees slightly for balance and letting my spine settle into a natural, but straight position. My head rests at the top of my spine, chin up but eyes lowered, and my hands come to rest palms up on my thighs.

“Rhett has you well trained. And don’t you look like the prettiest picture of submission,” Alexandra sighs.

I resist the urge to smile or preen under her praise, but when her hand comes down and I feel her fingers in my hair, I breathe deep, leaning into the touch. She indulges me with a few more long strokes, and it’s all I can do not to whine at the loss of contact when she pulls away.

“I’m going to ask you some questions, and you’re not going to think, just answer. Do you understand?”

Her voice has that low rumble again. Not a bark, but something that reaches the same instinctual part of me like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. So, it’s easy to keep my eyes closed and nod.

“You’ve been pacing the house today. Why?”

My heart thumps hard against my ribs, all the anxiety I’d forgotten about rushing forward again like a tidal wave. I whimper and duck my chin, acting on that pull in my chest.

“Scared. He could be out there, waiting for me,” I whisper, a lump forming in my throat as my eyes burn.

“I’ll always protect you, my lovely. You’re safe with me, and my pack. No one is going to hurt you again.”

That rumble cuts through all other noise, and the world goes quiet. My primal mind instinctively recognizes the truth and honesty in the words, and peace fills the spaces of my thoughts, pushing out all other doubts. My hands come up, searching, pawing at the air. Until I feel soft, expensive linen, and I latch onto it.

“He hurt me; he wants to hurt me again. And now…” The words tumble out, and I don’t know if I could stop them if I tried. I’m leaning into where my hands hold tight to the fabric, pathetic whimpers coming from my throat as I sink somewhere deep into my mind. Scents become stronger, and I taste mulled wine on my tongue more than I smell it. Her fingers are back in my hair, brushing stray locks away from my face. Her other hand loosens my grip on the fabric. Warmth surrounds me, and I feel a weight settle over one shoulder.

“I’ve got you, my lovely little omega. You’re here with me, and I’m going to take care of you. Just stay right here, where you belong,” she purrs, all softness and gentle touches.

Her hand in my hair guides me to rest my cheek on something warm and soft, smelling strongly of citrus and something more, but she stops me from nuzzling closer to investigate. Instead, I let my head loll back, exposing my throat and letting her move me. Eventually, I settle, sitting on my hip with one hand holding on to her leg, judging by the ankle bone under my thumb. My other arm is tucked against my chest, held in place by whatever is weighing down my shoulder.

I’m floating, feeling more like a passenger in my body as my instincts drive me to let this alpha care for me, to keep me warm and safe. She smells like Christmas Eve, spices and sweetness and anticipation. Her touch trails along my scalp, a single finger tracing from the top of my head, down over my temple, along my throat and back again.

“What are your safe words, sweetness?” the alpha asks.

I whimper, turning my head to seek out more of her, but a short growl freezes me in place. I don’t want to leave this place, where everything feels right and I’m safe. Two words float up from below, and I whisper them before they drift away.

“Red. Yellow.”

“Very good girl. You’re so good for me, doing what I ask. But it’s time to come back, my lovely.”

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