Page 87 of Lavender and Lightning

I trail off, not sure what else I can say. Because everything else that comes to mind just feels… wrong. She had every right to think we believed her incapable of making her own decisions. I can’t take back the things I said, the things that clearly hurt her, but any promises to do better just feel empty. Why should she believe me?

“I’m sorry I broke your trust in me. You mean so much to me, and I’ve been terrible at showing you that. I… I’m so sorry,” I say, trailing off into a whisper again as I squeeze her one last time and then let go to sit back on my heels.

I feel another tear slide down my face, but I don’t move. Then suddenly, my skin comes alive as delicate fingers whisper across my cheekbone, brushing the drop away. I lean into her touch, closing my eyes to bask in the warmth.

“You’ve broken nothing, Mateo Hutchenson. I still trust you, and I love you, so, so much.”

My eyes fly open at the catch in her voice, finding her kneeling on the ground in front of me. Her eyes shine with unshed tears, and I can’t stand the sight. Without taking the time to think, I lean forward, cupping her face and bringing my lips to hers.

The kiss is soft at first, our touches hesitant, like we’re learning each other for the first time all over again. But then the heat between us rises, hands wandering in search of more skin to touch, to re-memorize. Clothes are abandoned, neither of us stopping until we’re chest to chest, arms entwined as we fall to the soft rug, her landing beneath me. I pull back with a gasp as her fingers close around my cock, guiding it to her warm, inviting slit. She’s already soaked, and it only takes two slow rolls of my hips to bottom out.

“I love you, Mateo,” she gasps, eyes fluttering closed and head tipping back as I set a steady pace.

I lean in, nipping at her newly exposed throat before soothing the tiny hurts away with my tongue. “I love you, Lydia.”

We say the words back and forth, over and over, reaffirming the connection that’s been undeniable since we first laid eyes on each other. Our bodies move together, each sigh and moan passing between us in concert. She’s warm and tight around me, and nothing has ever felt more right than being inside of her, of joining our physical beings as close as our souls. I don’t believe in destiny, or that everything happens for a reason. But someone, something, bigger than any one person, stepped in that day, giving me the impulse to check in on the work site. If I’d ignored that whim, I never would have met this incredible woman, my perfect match.

“I want your knot, please. I’m so close,” Lydia whimpers, her nails digging into the skin of my biceps.

A primal growl rumbles through my chest, and I snap my hips harder, faster, driving deep until Lydia is screaming, her body shaking as she crests that peak. Her channel pulses, drawing me into her body, and I can’t fight it for long. My knot swells, my balls tighten, and with one last grunt, I push deep, locking in as I fill her to the brim with my cum.

I hang my head as I try to catch my breath, purring when her fingers play with the sweat-damp hair at the nape of my neck. I take her free hand and bring her wrist to my mouth, kissing the place where I’m going to leave my mating mark before holding our clasped fingers to my chest tenderly.

“I know what I want you to get,” she says into the quiet.

I look up at her, asking for her to continue with my eyes. Her smile is serene, and it warms my heart to see it again after everything we’ve been through in the last forty-eight hours.

“I want you to get a little lightning bolt, nothing big, nothing fancy. Just a simple design here,” she continues, pulling our joined hands back so she can trace the zig-zag shape in the empty space I’d shown her.

“Why that?” I ask, unable to hold back the question.

“You came into my life like a bolt from the blue. You shocked me awake and changed everything I had planned. Electricity is what makes the heart beat, and that’s what you are to me, Mateo. The pulse in my blood, the light in the darkness, the jolt I needed to stop being so afraid.”

She trails off, eyes on the place her finger touches my skin. I lower our hands and lean up, resting my forehead on hers. Her breathing is shaky, her body shivering slightly. I kiss her gently, reverently. I didn’t think I could love her more, but she always finds a way to surprise me.

thirty-seven

Lydia

LeavingMateointhesuite is harder than I’d care to admit. But I need the distance to think, to figure out what I want, and being around him makes it hard to remember all of the very good reasons I had for walking out in the first place. He tried to make me take his access card, but I refused. The temptation to come back would be too hard to ignore. Even knowing he’s in the building makes it hard to return to the room Gabby and Wila are staying in for the time being.

While it’s not as spacious as the pack suite, their three-room suite is still nicer than some apartments I’ve been in. Two bedrooms flank an open plan living room, dining room, and kitchen, all decorated to match the glamorous art deco architecture of the building. When I open the main door, I look to find Gabby and Caleb at the dining table, playing cards, of all things. I don’t know what sort of game they’re playing, or who’s winning, but they are both so invested that neither spares me a passing glance as I close the door behind me.

Caleb had arrived hours after I stumbled into Gabby’s arms, sobbing too hard to explain why I was even there. He didn’t give me a straight answer when I’d asked how he found me, but it wasn’t a stretch to guess that Lex had sent him. He didn’t ask about the fire, or the fight, or anything. He’s been a silent, comforting presence; exactly what I need right now.

“How’s Mat?” Gabby asks, laying down a card onto the pile next to the deck.

“Apologetic,” I sigh, shuffling to the couch and curling up against one arm.

“He fucking better be,” she grumbles, so low I’m not sure she intended for me to hear.

I close my eyes, letting my head fall to one side. I can still see Mateo on his knees, soft brown eyes broken and full of tears, and my heart breaks all over again. Hearing Mateo own up to his mistakes was exactly what I needed, even if I didn’t know it. It reminded me that he’s not Darren, that he doesn’t think I’m worthless or any of the other nasty things that had gone through my head on the drive here.

“You’ll never guess who showed up while you were gone,” Gabby says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Santa Claus?” I ask in a sarcastic monotone.

“Rhett,” she replies curtly.

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