Page 107 of Lavender and Lightning

“It’s too suspicious to bail now. I’ll see what I can do, and hopefully I can see y’all after the ceremony,” Caleb says.

“Keep your phone on you, just in case,” Rhett says with a nod.

My stomach drops to somewhere around my knees as Caleb steps out of the queue and starts walking back toward the parking lot. Rhett leads me past the guard, and we follow the signs toward the ceremony space.

“I don’t like this,” Rhett whispers, intentionally slowing our steps as if we’re admiring the garden.

“Neither do I. But what other choice do we have? We need them to not suspect anything until we’re safe back home,” I hiss with a touch more exasperation than I intended.

“I know, love. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it. Do you think your mother has something to do with this?” Rhett whispers back.

“Oh, most definitely,” I snap under my breath.

Rhett takes a deep breath before settling his shoulders. He reaches into his jacket pocket and slips my phone out from within, casually sliding it into a hidden pocket in the side of my skirt.

“We’ll stick close together as best as we can, but I’d rather you have that on you,” he says with a small smile.

I nod and take a steadying breath. We continue walking down the path, and I have to admire the attention to detail the venue has put into their landscaping. Even the ceremony space is absolutely perfect, right down to the spacing of the folding chairs on either side of the stone and brick path. Rhett and I find seats near the back, on the outside edge opposite the aisle, and I take a moment to look around. They set the altar up on the front porch of the plantation style house, and there’s a massive live oak tree to the left of the front garden. Everything is decorated in fairly standard wedding decor, white tulle and silver accents, the occasional splash of pale pink or beige breaking up the color palette. It’s not the tackiest or most basic wedding I’ve ever seen, and it allows the natural beauty of the venue to shine through.

We intentionally arrived as close to the specified starting time to avoid having to mingle, and it seems like it worked. Most of the seats are full, with only a few stragglers making their way up the path from the parking lot. We only have to sit for a few minutes as the last of the guests find seats, and talking swells in anticipation. No one has noticed Rhett or me, though I catch a few strange looks from people I vaguely recognize. But thankfully, a string quartet begins to play, and attention collectively turns to face the end of the aisle.

My brother, Samuel Jr., walks down the aisle first, and I can’t help but smile a little. We share the same toffee brown hair, but his skews more red than blond. He’s dressed in a gray suit with a stunning boutonniere pinned to the lapel. He looks good, strong and healthy, if a little nervous. I try to catch his eye, but he’s focused on the altar at the end of the aisle.

My father comes next, escorting a middle-aged woman I can only assume is Ally’s mother. My father’s eyes seem to find me like a heat-seeking missile, and my mouth goes dry as I try not to wither under his assessing stare. His green eyes, the gift he’s given to all of his children, spark for a moment, but the look is gone before I can interpret it, and he’s moved past my row. I feel Rhett’s hand on my lower back, his thumb brushing soothingly.

For all of my nervousness at seeing my father again, I can’t contain my shudder as my mother starts her slow jaunt toward the altar. She’s thin, much thinner than I remember, and she’s seemed to have aged like milk since the last time I saw her. Her hair, naturally a light auburn brown, has been dyed a truly awful chestnut color that only makes her skin look sickly. She’s dolled up with a makeup look meant for someone ten years younger, and her mother of the bride dress is a champagne color that is so light it could almost be ivory, with enough beading to make me flinch away when the setting sun catches it. She’s being escorted down the aisle by another familiar face, the second oldest of my siblings, Adam. He’s still sporting that military haircut that makes his blond hair look like peach fuzz on the sides of his head, and his thin lips are pulled up in a smile that could be seen as genuine to anyone who doesn’t know him.

Diane Anderson preens and flounces her way to the front, looking for all the world like this is her wedding. She’s so lost in the attention that her eyes skate right over Rhett and me, which I’m grateful for. I’m sure we’ll have to deal with her soon enough, but that’s a problem for future me. For the moment, I hold my breath and look away from the back, knowing who will be coming up soon enough. I turn back to face the front, bringing my attention to stare at a spot just to the left of the officiant, away from where the groomsmen are standing. I see figures moving out of the corner of my eye, but I focus on watching Ally’s two bridesmaids and maid of honor stepping into formation.

I can feel the heat of someone’s stare on the side of my face, but I refuse to give in and look. The music changes and everyone gets to their feet, giving me a perfect excuse to put my back to the wedding party. I sigh with everyone else, watching as Ally and her father pull up to the gate in a horse-drawn carriage, exiting smoothly. Ally is beautiful, with dark brown hair and big blue eyes, and a smile that makes her entire face brighter. She looks every inch the fairytale princess, and I can’t help the little smile as she starts her walk up the aisle.

Unable to put it off any longer once Ally reaches the stairs, my eyes flick along the line of groomsmen. Adam is standing next to Sam, acting as the best man. Jason comes next, and I can’t deny how well he cleans up, his matching gray suit really bringing out the green of his eyes. And then my eyes slide one more place to the right, and I feel my heart stop.

Darren McLaughlin.

He hasn’t changed a bit since the last time I saw him, when he was passed out in bed after violating me and ripping pieces of my skin out with his teeth. His rusty red hair is gelled into a trendy casual mop that only serves to remind me of Mateo, and how he always looks like he just rolled out of bed. On Mateo, it’s sexy, unintentionally making people think about him in bed. But on Darren, it looks haphazard, almost like he’s trying too hard to appear like he doesn’t care. His cheekbones are sharp, almost too pronounced, which, combined with his harshly angled jaw, gives him almost a hawklike appearance. I don’t know how I ever thought he was attractive.

But it’s his eyes that I can’t look away from. Muddy brown, but full of a fire that makes my fight-or-flight instinct kick into overdrive. I know I shouldn’t be the first to back down, but the longer I stare back, the harder it gets to breathe. I can feel phantom pain in my shoulder and stomach, and my knees feel liable to give out.

“Focus on my voice, little one. We’re sitting down. That’s a good girl.”

Rhett’s whisper in my ear makes me jump, and I’m grateful I manage to contain my yelp and cover it with a cough. I let Rhett’s hand on my lower back guide me into my seat, even as the world rocks a little under my feet as a sudden wave of dizziness comes over me.

“Here, take this and breathe,” Rhett prompts.

I look down and watch him pull a purple handkerchief from inside of a small leather pouch, about the size of a pocket watch. I don’t have it in me to question, so I follow his instructions. Pressing the silk cloth over my nose, I try to pass it off like I’ve started crying and take a deep inhale. My body instantly relaxes as the soothing scent of clean towels, lemonade, and mulled wine fills my nose.

“He’s the redhead, then?” Rhett asks, leaning over to whisper in my ear as the officiant starts the ceremony proper.

I give him a slight dip of my chin, closing my eyes and breathing in the combined scents of my pack, Rhett’s leather and whiskey joining the mix as he puts an arm around my shoulders and shifts in his seat until I can feel his hip against mine.

I don’t look at anyone other than Sam and Ally for the rest of the ceremony, even as I feel Darren’s stare on my face like a white-hot brand. Rhett stays close, whispering now and then to keep me grounded and in the present despite my mind wanting to slip into memories and fear. At long last, the officiant declares the couple to be man and wife, and I applaud with the other guests. I expect the wedding party to make a recessional down the aisle again, but instead, the parents of the bride and groom stand, and I watch as everyone shuffles into place before the officiant announces the guests should come forward and make their way inside for cocktails.

A receiving line.

Fuck.

forty-six

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