Page 105 of Lilacs and Leather

My voice is steadier than I thought it would be, considering how close to the topic of my trauma we are getting in this discussion. But having Mateo’s arms around me, and Rhett’s hand tight around mine, and Alexandra’s judgement-free expression looking at me helps in ways I’d never considered possible before.

“Would you consider joining a pack if you think it would help?” Alexandra asks, picking her words carefully.

At first, I don’t understand her hesitation. Joining a pack would help, as it would remove my father as the prime alpha in my life. He wouldn’t be able to force me back home if Darren tried to use the business connection between our fathers as leverage. It would also make it harder for my mother to keep up her missing person story. But as the silence stretches, the implications of her question hit me like a Mack truck.

“You want me? To—”

“Join Pack St. Clair, yes,” Alexandra finishes.

I look around to Mateo and Rhett and Lucas, finding similar expressions of hope and excitement. My head spins as I consider what she’s asking. I’d be part of this little family, an equal among these incredible, talented, successful people. It’s too much, too soon. I love Rhett and I love Mateo, but they couldn’t possibly mean it. I want it but I can’t accept something so profound when I’ve brought nothing but trouble to their door.

“I don’t want to be a burden. If you’re just doing this because I’m in trouble, then I can’t—”

“Love, we’ve been talking about this for a while. That’s why Lex has been looking into your background. You mean so much to me, to us, and we want you to be one of us, truly,” Rhett says, drawing my attention to him.

His eyes shine with all of the love and warmth I can hear in his words, and my heart aches. His words are full of the honesty I’ve grown to love and respect, but my mind can’t believe him. How could someone as good and amazing as Rhett want me?

“I want to show you something,” Alexandra says suddenly.

My head whips around and I watch her get to her feet. She holds out a hand for me to take, and I slide my palm cautiously into hers. Her skin is soft and warm, and her fingers fit perfectly into the spaces between mine as she threads them together. I let her pull me from my stool and lead me down the stairs to the basement. Before they disappear from sight, I catch Rhett, Lucas and Mateo sharing a hopeful look, but I lose sight of them before I can read into it more.

Alexandra leads me down the carpeted stairs to a hall that extends to the right and left, and I let her guide me down the hall to the right. My tours of the house have excluded this level, and I gasp softly as the hallway opens up into a lounge space. There’s a pool table and a wet bar off to the right, and a set of squishy-looking couches arranged in front of a TV that might be bigger than my bed. There are two sets of French doors that lead out onto a patio, and I see sunlight glittering off the water of the pool beyond that. But Alexandra leads me to a plain door to the left of the patio exit, opening it and stepping inside.

The room beyond is small compared to the other rooms I’ve seen in the house. There’s a bay window to the right of the door that looks out over the pool area, with a seat wide enough to hold a king-sized mattress. The walls are white, but there are some paint swatches in varying shades of blue and gray on one of them. There’s another door open to a bathroom opposite the window, and tasteful wall sconces providing soft, ambient light.

“What is this?” I ask, voice echoing slightly in the empty space.

“When Rhett designed the house, he had it marked as a den. We’ve used it for an office, a guest room, and even a playroom at one time or another,” Alexandra says, tone neutral.

“What is it now?” I rephrase, still looking around the cozy space with confusion.

“We’d like it to be your nest, Lydia.”

My head snaps around to her, eyes wide and jaw slack. I hadn’t dared believe their words, but it’s clear from the state of this room that they have been considering their offer for a while. Possibly before Seth made his reappearance. I try to get my mind to work, to say something in response to this incredible offer, but I can’t get my mind and mouth to communicate. Alexandra still has one of my hands, and she turns to face me more fully, taking the other.

“I know that this is a lot, and I know that it’s sudden, but you have to know how the boys feel about you. I don’t want to speak for them where feelings are concerned, but as the prime alpha of this pack, I know that you are right for us. Having you as a member of this pack, this family, is not a burden but a privilege. We will have time to get the details right, to make sure you’re as comfortable with this as possible, but it would mean so much to us… it would mean so much to me if you would accept.”

As I stare at Alexandra’s face, I see the way her brow furrows as she talks, the emotion flashing in her eyes as she doesn’t look away from me. I wait for my instincts to warn me away from this, to tell me that this isn’t real, or that it’s too good to be true. But all I feel as I think about a future in this pack is a warm rightness in my heart. Like this is the place I’m meant to be, the people I’m meant to share my life with. I can picture it, waking up between Rhett and Lucas, driving to work with Mateo, having coffee with Alexandra on the weekends. It all seems so… right.

“I’ve never gotten a tattoo before,” I admit with a shy smile.

Alexandra is beautiful when she’s sad, or serious, or even angry. But seeing her smile, watching her entire face light up with undimmed joy is otherworldly and it takes my breath away. Before I can react, her laughter rings like church bells in my ears, her slender arms wrapping me in a tight embrace. I feel my face flush as I return the hug and breathe in her mulled wine and citrus scent until I feel drunk on it.

“She said yes?” I hear Lucas ask from the doorway.

Alexandra and I part and turn to see him leaning in the open door. My smile is watery with happy tears, and I nod. Lucas lets out a whoop and crashes into Alexandra and me, gathering us up in a fierce hug. I scent more than I see Rhett and Mateo as they enter the room, feeling the weight of them as they join the huddle in the center of my future nesting space.

I close my eyes and let the combined warmth and scent of them fill my senses. Lucas is going on about decor ideas for my room, but I lose myself in the mixture of cloves and oranges, lemonade and grass, whiskey and dark chocolate.

The scents of my friends, and protectors.

My new family.

My pack.

Forty-One

Lydia

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