Page 39 of Broken Boss Daddy

“Oh, that’s right. You just kept her from me the entire time we were sleeping together.”

There was nothing to say to that because he was right. Although it stung and stungbadly.

With my silence, Grant’s face fell, and he took a step back. He was exhausted, and I felt more guilty because of that.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” he sighed. “You just dumped this on me and I’ve been spiraling. I don’t know what to do next.”

As much as his words hurt me, I knew Grant was hurting even more. He never shied away from the fact that he wanted a family of his own. There I was with his very wish and I couldn’t find the words to tell him earlier.

But considering that, it still didn’t give him the right to make me out to be the only bad person here. What I did, I did for the sake of my child. Grant had no right suddenly demanding to be Abby’s father when he’d only just found out that he was.

“Grant.” I took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. Truly, I am. It eats me up inside to know I’ve put you through so much pain, but you’ve got to realize that my first priority in life is Abby. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to ensure her safety and happiness.”

“And I understand that. But, Jess, I’m still her father. I still deserve to meet her, to be in her life, and to protect her much like you do. Not only that, but Iwantto do all those things.”

“It’s not that simple,” I whispered. “You don’t know what it’s like to have your life literally dependent on another person’s happiness. Grant, you walked away once, and it tore me apart. I’m not convinced that you won’t find something better out there and leave me in the lurch. Abby deserves more than that.”

“Exactly!” Grant whisper-yelled, and I surveyed the hallway to make sure there were no prying ears as he continued. “Don’t you think Abby should know her father?”

“Yes, she should. But she should only know the one that will stay. I guess that’s a foreign concept to you.”

“What are you even talking about, Jessica? You say all this cryptic shit that I have no idea about and just expect me to do—what, exactly?” Grant nearly spat out.

“I expect nothing from you.”

“That’s not what you’re telling me. You said you don’t want me to meet Abby if I’m going to leave. Well, open your eyes, I’m standing right here telling you I’m not going to do that. She’s my child too, Jess. Like it or not, I do get a say in this.”

“My child,” I whispered.

“What?”

“My child,” I repeated and strengthened my resolve. Standing up straighter, I said, “Abby hasn’t been your child. She’smine.”

“Have you lost your damn mind?” Grant asked incredulously.

“No, you’re the one who’s crazy if you think you can just show up here and suddenly be her father. You weren’t there through my high-risk pregnancy, nor were you there through the 18 hours of labor to bring her into this world.

“How about the long days and sleepless nights in the hospital when she was a baby, worrying whether she was going to be okay or even live through the pain? Years of worrying about her, stressing about money, and praying that you wouldn’t have to see her go through pain for just a day, an hour, a goddamn minute.

“It wasmewho was by her side and held her hand.Iwas the one that took on all the responsibility. And when she finally got better, I put myself through school to ensure if anything like that had to happen again, God forbid it, I could help her more. I went through all of that with her. I’m not blaming you because obviously you didn’t know, but it doesn’t mean that you were her father.

“Being her father is more than coming here and talking about her. It means being here for all the little things and the big ones. I want you to have a relationship with her, I really do. But, Grant, you don’t have that with her yet. So no, you can’t just show up here and call her your child when there’s so much more to it. Grant, being Abby’s father is a lifetime commitment, not just a conversation or temporary thing.

“I need you to understand that. I need you to understand thatIneed reassurance that you’re going to stay in her life no matter what. That something stupid isn’t going to call you away and leave her wondering what she did wrong like I did. Prove to me you’re here to stay, that you’re here for her. Then, only then, is she your child as well.”

I felt like I had run a marathon. Yet, as my anger subsided, my tears threatened to fall once more.

Grant was speechless. There was no denying that my words had struck him in a way that he couldn’t comprehend.

A minute ticked by. Then another one.

There were times when he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then instantly shut it again.

Eventually, Grant found his words and asked in a strained voice, “Why was Abby in the hospital?”

Relief flooded through me. I had hoped he would ask that first to restore some of my faith in him. “She had severe ear infections as a baby. It got so bad that we were even considering surgery in case she had gone deaf.”

Grant’s face was expressionless, and my panic rose again. Anger would’ve been better than nothing at all. That side of him was unpredictable, and who knew what Grant was prone to do in that mood?