Page 128 of Jig's Last Dance

Chapter Nineteen

After an exhausting exchange with Ben, I finally agreed to return to Sal’s. Ben insisted that I’m safer far away from his actions. It’s laughable.

Truthfully, I was too tired to argue, and for two days, I lay in bed, curled around myself and licking my wounds. Intellectually, I don’t blame Jig for wanting revenge. Emotionally, my heart doesn’t fucking care.

Beyond that, I have a secret that can never be told, and the knowledge is pressing at my chest like a fifty-pound weight.

I’m leaving Jig and his parents with a lie that must eat at their souls and haunt them in their dreams. Although Mandy falling to her death is tragic, it’s far more palatable than thinking your daughter may have been sexually assaulted before meeting her death.

As a result, I’m simultaneously enraged with Ben and heartsick.

Would we even be here now if he hadn’t taken her into our parents’ fucking room?

Now what?

I’m still an orphan, even though the circumstances by which my parents are gone have changed. And I’ll never see my brother the same way again.

I’m blank. There’s nothing within me but a big ball of ice. Only at night, when I try to close my eyes and find oblivion, do I see Jig’s tortured face. It’s then that I break into tiny pieces again and wonder how my heart can hurt so fucking badly and still beat in my chest.

Killing my dad should haunt me in my dreams, but it doesn’t. Nope. That’s reserved for Jig if he were ever to learn the damn truth.

A truth I’m selfishly denying him. I’m not sure who I hate more, him or me. It’s a toss-up at this point.

Today is Friday. It’s my birthday. I’m eighteen. An adult. It’s laughable because I’m still not in charge of my destiny. Truthfully, if I didn’t think death was too easy for me, I’d have already slit my wrists. But somehow, I think this is my punishment for being so naive.

I should have walked away when that fucker John insinuated Jig was involved in my parents’ deaths. I should never have called Sal.

Shit, even my relationship with Ben is my own damn fault. I pushed and pushed until he got tired of my attitude.

I’m tired of existing in my misery and rouse enough to check my texts, none of which are from Jig. Of course not. He doesn’t need me as bait anymore.

We need to talk

Alice: Who is this?

Rain

Alice: You’re kidding, right?

Rain: No, please

Alice: I have nothing to say to any of you assholes

Rain: I know it looks bad, but please just let me explain

Alice: Explain what? It’s pretty obvious

Rain: Please, just meet me at the arcade after school

Rolling over, I stare at the wall before pulling from the bed. If Rain Flaherty thinks I’m gonna show, she’s lost her damn mind.

There’s nothing left to say but the truth, and I can’t even do fucking that.

After showering and dressing, I escape, only to pause at the bottom of the stairs when Sal appears.

I know he’ll eventually ask about the information on the girl that’s been burning a hole in my pocket since I picked it up. In the aftermath of everything that’s happened since, I haven’t done anything about it, but I can’t avoid it forever.

The easy answer is to throw it away, but will that change anything? John will take more pictures, and someone will make that poor girl disappear.

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