Page 120 of Jig's Last Dance

“No.”

The words are simple, but they open up a deep dark hole in my chest.

A strange wail strangles my throat, and looking him directly in the eyes, I moan, “You’re a monster, too.”

He nods, his eyes feverishly bright as he grabs my hand holding the gun. But either he miscalculated, or he meant to do it because my finger pulls the trigger anyway.

The warm wet spray of his blood spatters my cheek, and I flinch as his body slumps to the wheel, causing the horn to blare wildly in the silence.

The sound is muffled, though my ears are ringing. With a strange disconnection, I reach over and hover my hand above his head.

“Dad?” I whisper foolishly, and at the last second, I pull away only to slip in the dirt and fall to my ass.

With a weird chuckle, I wrap my arms around my waist and rock back and forth, back and forth.

I don’t know how much time passes while I zone out, but eventually, I emerge from my shock and stand. The horn is still going, and with a grimace, I reach in and push my dad gently aside before retrieving his gun.

After, I stare at his blood-soaked skull, willing him to move until a drop of rain lands on my face, and I back away.

The trees sway around me, a gust of wind ruffling my hair. Looking up at the sky, I close my eyes.

Visions of my dad carrying me around on his shoulders tumble through my brain, followed by my mom’s gentle smile.

Whatever the reason, he chose death over life, but I wasn’t ready to die. I’m not ready to die.

Wearily, I climb the hill, get back in the car, and turn around, heading back toward my destiny.

I’m a murderer. I might as well grab onto the power with both hands and use it to my advantage.

Uncle Sal will regret ever using me.

∞∞∞

Halfway down the mountain, I pass a lookout and stop, pulling over at the edge of a ravine hundreds of yards below me. Water rushes through the dirt, creating a swirling mass of chaos, and taking out the weapon I used to kill my father, I remove the barrel and toss the remainder over the side.

It tumbles against the rocks and disappears beneath the water. Shoving the magazine back in my pocket, I avert my head when a van pulls in, noting from the corner of my eye the family that emerges with wide grins.

The dissonance jars me, and with a bitter smile, I rev the engine of the sweet little sports car and drive away.

When I reach the city limits, I pull over and look at my reflection. Unsurprisingly, the person staring back has lifeless eyes and a macabre spray of blood painting her face.

I’m not me. I don’t know who I am.

Jig’s bright eyes pop into my brain, and I fumble with my phone. Despite our differences, I need what only he can give me—peace.

The screen comes to life, and I smile when I find a dozen missed calls and texts from him.

Tell me where u are

Talk to me

Goddamnit

Alice . . .

At least tell me you’re okay

My heart stretches at that one, and rubbing my aching brow, I huff out a laugh. If this had gone any other way, I wouldn’t be responding to him at all.

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