Page 73 of Bitter Truths

That was a fun night, huh, bros? I wonder if she told her mommy we fucked her good. Oh, maybe not, because she was too wasted to remember. It’s not rape if she can’t say no, eh?

Randy watches grimly, visibly shaking next to me, and with a sharp look, I hand him the phone. “Relax, you’re stuck in your mom’s basement playing video games with strangers. This is the worst you’ll have to do. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Right,” he says, looking away. “But you know this isn’t going to end well. Will’s parents are super religious. His dad’s a preacher at a huge church. And Jason wants to play pro ball.”

“Am I supposed to care? They ruined my fucking life,” I say viciously because, in this, I don’t give a shit. With Griffin, the sweet slide of revenge came with an aching ball of regret that hangs around my heart. But here and now, I feel nothing but relief.

I’m taking back my fucking assault the only way I know how without castrating them all, and for the first time in over a year, I feel free.

He rears back at my ferocity before nodding his head. “Yeah.”

“What about Chris?” I mutter, setting the phone aside and standing. I wobble on weak knees because I didn’t honestly think he’d give in so easily, which makes me almost dizzy with euphoria.

This way, no one is hurt, except maybe him and his douche friends. Now the truth is out there for all to know, even if it’s couched in a stupid joke. It probably doesn’t matter. Some will never believe and blame me anyway, but this is life-changing for the few who do see it, and it does matter.

With any luck, Will’s dad will be thunderous over it, and I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that conversation, and Jason fucking deserves to see his career go down the toilet, the fucker, especially with his threats against Griffin.

How dare he come back at Griff when he knows what he did? How dare they all?

Randy’s phone buzzes, and he looks down at it with horror when Jason’s face lights up the screen, another picture from before. My stomach churns at the sight because his ugly fucking face is the last thing I want to see, but he won’t go away. None of them will.

“Are you going to answer it?”

He shakes his head wildly, his chin wobbling, and for a moment, I look him over with pity because he’s one seriously fucked-up dude, but that’s all I have to spare for the dick.

“It’s best if you don’t,” I say, standing with a sigh. “Just avoid them and do not tell them about me. Do you understand? I could still press charges, and this little note on a fucking social media platform, pales compared to what it would be like behind bars.”

He’s silent as he nods, and I think I spy liquid gathering in his eyes, but I ignore it as I trudge up the stairs. Once outside, I breathe deeply and smile before hustling to my car and driving away.

But as the streets change and the scenery moves around me, I realize I’m numb. I feel vindicated because Jason or Will or whoever put my horror out there, and I fought back. But it doesn’t erase the history between us, and nothing, it would seem, can make it go away.

Revenge was sweet at the moment, but I’m tired. Tired of the memories and dreams, the perpetual feeling of wrongness that covers my skin and lurks below my veins. Nothing is right, and it’s a constant deluge I can’t escape.

In a fit of jealousy and hurt, I made the ultimate mistake, and while I did say no when I was able to, it doesn’t change the fact that I put myself in the situation, and it didn’t do me a damn bit of good anyway. Griffin believed the worst of me, and nothing I did or said was going to change it.

Somehow, I must figure out how to live with my decisions and the aftermath. This is my fate, and I can’t outrun it no matter who I hurt to get back my control.

This doesn’t change my hate or the crawling sensation that writhes in my veins. I don’t regret confronting Randy, but how far am I willing to go for this? Until I lose what’s left of me?

Maybe I need to step back because I’m so fucking numb right now I’m afraid I’ll never resurface, and still, I have this void in my fucking chest.

My journey isn’t over, but the heated motivation behind it has dampened. I need to find my peace, and I’ll never do it with rage in my heart. Now it’s time to move on, and try to do it without further retaliation, because I fear I will never be whole again.

My phone chirps halfway home, and pulling to the side of the road, I read the text and tap out a reply with a sigh.

Griff: Did you see this?

Hals: Yes

It’s the post from Randy, and the print screen shows a hundred responses already. I wonder if Will and Chris have seen it and if they’re already trying for damage control.

Griff: Did you have something to do with it?

Hals: Don’t be silly, of course not

Griff: I hope not, because this could be very bad, H. The lawyer is working on the video issue, but if we don’t stand back, we could lose our ground

Hals: I understand

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