“After the big reveal, I left Jason trying to explain away his behavior to his douche friends, but last night when I was walking back to my place, I was jumped.”
“Who?”
“Honestly, I didn’t see them. It was dark, and they had their faces covered, but I assume Jason and his dick friends.”
“Jesus. I’m so sorry, Max.”
“Yeah, okay. I’m heading home. Talk later?” he asks stiffly, and my stomach sinks.
What am I doing? And why does every action put me further into a fucking hole? It’s like I can’t outrun the feeling clawing at my soul, but every action I take to ease the blaze only makes it worse.
After letting Max out, I lay across my bed and stare at nothing, rubbing the dull ache in my chest. I wanted Jason to feel humiliation and pain, which I’m sure to a certain extent he did because Max made sure to fuck him at a party with all his football peers nearby, but as a result, Max got hurt, too.
And now Griffin is angrier at Max than before, and Max is nursing bruises and a hurt heart. For what, my revenge?
“You need to stop before someone gets truly hurt,” Aaron says quietly from the doorway.
Turning away because I can’t face him after this, I mutter, “Stop what?”
“Really? And you’re gonna lie about it too?”
I close my eyes against the tears. “This isn’t your business.”
And after a long, painful pause, Aaron sighs. “Okay, I get it.”
With that, he disappears from the room, and I choke on a sob, annoyed by the fucking tears. I’m not proud of my behavior, but I am resolved because I can’t walk through this world with these shits being immune to the consequences of their actions.
I just can’t. But now I know better than to involve anyone else because it’s only what I deserve if I get hurt.
Chapter Twenty-One
Now you want me to fucking shine?
HALSEY
I haven’t spoken to Max beyond a few words during our weekly family calls, and I don’t know how Jason’s revelation impacted his world. I have no one to ask.
It’s Thanksgiving, and after a long drive home with Max where we barely speak, and the silence is tense as fuck, I finally break.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter.
Although Max deserves a beating for what he put me through, I dragged him into an unstable situation, and now he could very well be caught in the middle.
He glances at me with a furrowed brow before turning back to the road. “It’s fine, but maybe, Hals, you should stop.”
“Why?” I mutter caustically. “Don’t they deserve what they fucking get?”
“Maybe,” he says with a heavy sigh, “but take it from me. Being angry and bitter all the time kills your fucking soul.”
Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I see his weary expression but ignore the voice in my head telling me to let it go.
I can’t, and I don’t want to, which maybe makes me no different from Griff and my brother in the end. So be it. I’m sunk in a hole that I can’t fucking dig my way out of. If it means being the ultimate hypocrite, then whatever.
Turning my thoughts to Randy and Chris, I consider my options. My only chance with either of them is during breaks unless I plan to create mayhem over social media. I’m undecided how this should play out, but I’ve got a few thoughts swirling around in my head.
I’ve considered how far I’m willing to go, and as much as I’d like for them to feel my pain, viscerally at that, I know I have to be careful. This means my options shrink some, but I’m okay with that as long as they feel the burn.
Our family meal is quiet. Max and I orbit around each other while Mom fills in the spaces with her nervous chatter. Although we’ve made a bit of progress, it’s still stilted and weird, despite my efforts to pull him into my revenge.