Page 55 of Bitter Truths

And maybe along the way, I’ll figure out how to leave him in my past. Can I fuck him out of my system?

“Hals . . . we need to talk. What happened?” he asks, running his hand through his hair.

Glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, I look over his bare arms and mentally sigh. He’s got the most beautiful muscles I’ve ever seen on a guy.

When I don’t answer quickly enough, he drops to the floor beside me. “What’s going on?”

“You don’t know?” I mutter.

“No. Aaron called and said you were upset.”

“Aaron . . . called?”

“Yes, what happened?” he says roughly, pulling my chin around.

Setting aside the information to ask Aaron about later, I say dully, “You’ll find out soon enough. Someone posted a video on social media.”

A feral sound escapes his throat, and I watch wide-eyed as his eyes turn black before he says so softly, I shiver, “I’ll kill the fucker.”

In all the years I’ve seen Griffin’s hate, I’ve never seen him this dark, and the image is seared into my fucking brain. He looks positively beast-like.

“It could be any of them,” I blurt.

His brows slam over his eyes, and he growls, “How do you figure?”

Rearing back at his ferocity, I stare at him dumbly. “Because they were all there.”

“Whatever. I’ll kick his ass anyway,” he says with a bitter smile.

“You can’t do that.” Can he? Maybe I should let him. He deserves the repercussions.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you seem pretty chummy with the dicks,” I say snidely. I don’t know why I say it, but I do because the rage is beating at my chest once again, and I need him to see.

He tenses so painfully I can physically feel the vibration, and although my instinct is to shrink away, I raise my chin instead.

“I’ve never been friends with Jason or his douche friends,” he says coldly.

“Well, you sure like partying with them.”

“Yes, I was a fucking asshole. Yes, I made a choice that eats me up inside, and I can’t take it back, but I never—ever—would purposely do something so fucking reprehensible.” He stands to his feet and moves away while my heart bottoms out in my chest.

I don’t want us to be this way. I don’t. But we’re too far into the fucking morass to see our way clear, and I’m tired.

“Maybe not, but you did, and when I look at you, I see them.”

It’s a lie. I’ve only ever seen the light that shines in Griffin, but when he flinches and turns away, I acknowledge grimly that hurting him, although satisfying in a dark as fuck way, also leaves a knot in my stomach that aches long after the deed is done.

With his back to me, I watch as he takes a deep breath and clenches his fist before letting it loose on a sigh. When he turns back to me, the emotion is gone, and sadly, I miss his passion, but it’s safer when he’s this way. If I don’t know what he’s thinking, I can’t wish for things better left alone.

“Whatever,” he says quietly, “I’ll call the lawyer about the video.”

Nodding tremulously, I turn away, fighting back a surge of bile because even as I push him away, he still comes back. What the fuck is wrong with us?

“I don’t think it matters. I can’t fight them all.” I omit my plans because it would be quite fatal to let Griffin even sense them.

His violent reaction already has me on edge, and I’m not sure he’d even let me carry them out. I have a feeling the answer would be, “fuck no,” but this is my pain, and I have no intention of sharing it with anyone. Besides, knowing my luck, he’d tell my mom, and I’d be right back in the psych ward. While that may be more appropriate considering my plans, it’s not a place I want to see again, ever.

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