Page 23 of Bitter Truths

Maybe I didn’t do any of this the right way. Maybe I did the unthinkable, but I’ve never let her go, not where it mattered, and when she was at her lowest, it fucking gutted me.

“Are you following me?” she demands, her brows slamming over my eyes.

Licking my lips, I glance down at her heaving tits and say, “Nope, but this is a nice surprise.”

She squirms in her seat, and a rush burns through my veins.Oh, sweet, I want you, too.

“Griff,” she huffs.

It’s almost painful to be in her presence because being next to her already has my heart dancing out of my chest. For years, this very same reaction created a rage that I took out on her because no matter how hard I tried to see past her light, the fucking glare blinded me.

“Hals,” I say, sitting down next to her.

Frankly, I don’t know how to be in this new dynamic. Before, it was obvious. When we were stupid kids, I treated her like my queen. During the years of hate, I gave her my loathing. Now, I’m caught between years of attitude that’s hard to let loose, especially in the face of her anger and my need to wrap her up and never let her go.

“You can’t sit there,” she says, flapping her hands around, and I arch my brows in amusement.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still smarting over her cruel words from the other day, but much like every other fucked-up part of my world, nothing she does can push me away.

“Why?” I ask, my pulse jumping when her eyes light with blue fire.

When she’s like this, passionate and alive, is when I want to fuck her the most. I crave her light, and this is when she shines the brightest.

“Because,” she hisses, “we’re not friends.”

I smirk because I don’t want her to see the impact her words have, but I can’t stop the comment that tumbles from my mouth on wings of pain. “Maybe not, but I refuse to give up.”

“On what?”

I see her struggle, and although it gets harder to define her actions, I know her better than I know myself. I’m torn between walking away to spare her the grief I bring and selfishly staying.

She’s my world, she always has been, and despite the sickness that lies between us, I still have the urge to consume her. This is why I’m grim when I respond. “Us.”

I don’t care if there’s too much history. I don’t care about the lies. I only care about the girl sitting next to me who gives me the air I need to fully fucking breathe.

“There is no us.” She turns away from the expectation on my face, and I have to clench my jaw to maintain a calm expression.

Her rejection pokes at the beast who lingers below my skin. What she says is true, but you can’t push at my bruises and not expect a reaction.

“Not yet,” I say with finality, frustration boiling in my veins.

“I told you how I feel. Why can’t you just stay the fuck away?”

“Because,” I say, leaning into her face with a growl. “I’ll take your hate any day over never seeing you again.”

She leans back, raising her brows, and with a sigh, I run my hands through my hair, regretting the words as soon as they left my mouth. She may be my fucking redemption, but I know only too well how painful it can be to show your vulnerability.

“Hate me all you want,” I mutter, “but this isn’t fucking over. No. You’re mine. You were mine then, and you’re mine now.”

She drops her gaze before looking up at me with a cold as fuck expression that sucks the air from the room. “No, Griff. You gave up the right to claim me like a fucking caveman when you baited Jason Macklemore into raping me.”

Stunned, I stare at her as her chin wobbles before she turns away and focuses on the professor. Her stark words create a hole in my chest so vast that I can’t concentrate on the lesson while I breathe through the agony.

Baited. Jason. Rape. Fuck me.

I feel her distance acutely as she stares at the board with an icy expression. And I don’t know how to process it. I don’t know how to fucking live with it, so I set it aside. This I can do because I’ve become the master.

I fucking loathe that I’m the one that caused the tears she willed back, but I’m also relieved that she still feels because it’s something I can work with—I hope.

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