Page 15 of Bitter Truths

Setting aside my thoughts, I focus on what’s important, and that includes my friend and my peace. With Aaron, I get normal and safe, and these two things make a huge difference in my life. All of which I took for granted not so long ago.

Still, I had to save all my money from the job I worked over the summer for this. I didn’t want to go back to the dorms, and I refused to go back to Griffin’s.

My parents are helping me with what I can’t cover, and I’m eternally grateful, although I have to dip into my graduation gift to do it.

Mom helps me to unpack, chattering the whole time. I watch bemused because she’s more animated than I’ve seen her in a while, and it eases the pinched feeling I’ve been perpetually carrying in my chest.

“Don’t forget about Sunday,” she says, pecking me on the cheek.

I agree with a sigh of relief when she cautions me about taking my meds before hugging me goodbye.

As soon as the door closes behind her, I turn to my new roommate with a haggard smile and laugh when he hands me a drink.

“Here’s to an awesome year,” he says with a playful wag of his brows.

“Here, here,” I say softly.

∞∞∞

GRIFFIN

“Griff? Are you okay?”

Raising blind eyes to her, I smile, but it’s blighted by the words I can’t get out of my head.

You’re a filthy little bastard, Griffin. You think that girl won’t see, but you’re wrong and she’ll want to wash your filth off too.

Maybe Mother is right. Maybe Halsey will come to her senses. What then?

Sucking in a breath that does nothing to ease the tight feeling in my lungs, I clench my fist and stand. I can’t be here.

She’ll see. Surely, she’ll see and I’ll lose everything.

“Griff, wait. Where are you going?” Halsey says, her soft tone bringing me around.

She cocks her head to the side, her bright eyes cloudy, and my heart clenches before racing in my chest. Dropping to my knees, I search her gaze and her eyes flicker, looking for something that doesn’t exist.

“Griff?”

Pulling my lips into a smile, I say, “It’s fine. I’m just messed up today, I guess.”

“Messed up how?”

She licks her lips and I shift, my pants suddenly tight. Does she know how beautiful she is? I want to sink my hands into her soft blonde hair and taste her pretty rosebud mouth.

What does she see when she looks at me?

“You’re a monster,” she says, her wide eyes locked on mine.

“Wh-what?” I stutter, falling to my ass.

The hardwood stings but pales compared to the vise wrapped around my chest.

“You’re a filthy monster, Griff,” she says, her mouth stretching into a sweet smile.

“No, I—”

Rolling over, I blink slowly and stare at the fucking wall. I haven’t had that nightmare in years, but I guess current events have pulled it straight from my fucked-up psyche.

---