Page 12 of Bitter Truths

But I wasn’t ready. I still need time. I need, fuck, so much time.

Every painful piece of our past came rushing through me when he touched me, and I clenched my eyes shut before opening them with determination. I had to do it. I had to cut the cord. Otherwise, all the painful lessons would have been for naught.

“Hals,” he said, pulling me around.

His bright eyes stared into mine with an emotion I refused to analyze, and wrenching on his hand, I muttered, “Let me go.”

“No. You’ve been avoiding me all summer. We need to talk.”

“Talk? How about fuck off?”

The need to tell him just how far his scheming pushed me trembled on my tongue, but I held it back because I will never admit that I spent a good part of my summer back in the fucking hospital.

His eyes flashed with pain, but I ignored the silent plea because it hurt my fucking heart. I reminded myself that I would have begged to see that look before, and now it’s too fucking late.

“There’s nothing to say,” I said coldly, looking away with my heart pumping painfully in my chest.

It was both the truth and a lie—revenge may be sweet, but it’s always followed by a sour aftertaste.

He dropped my arm and stepped into my space until his hard chest brushed mine. Tingles broke out because my traitorous body has a mind of its own, and I suppressed a shudder when he raised a brow. “Nothing? This is it? You’re going to let it all go for one mistake?”

Thankfully, his words broke me from my spell, and I whipped my head up to glare into his eyes.

“One mistake? Try years, you dick! You tortured me for years! And I would have let that go, but you couldn’t stop at just the cruel looks and fucking my friends,” I said, my chest thumping when he flinched away from me. “No, you had to take it next level, didn’t you? It wasn’t enough to hurt me by dropping me. You had to throw my love in my face, and even then, you still weren’t fucking done. How’s Jason, by the way?”

“You know I’m not friends with that douche,” he said, his mouth curling with distaste. “And yes, I made a mistake that I can never take back, and it will fucking haunt me until I’m dead, but sweetheart, I can’t let this go.”

“No? And why is that?” With a faint buzzing sound ringing in my ears, I stared at him, incredulous that he could stand before me with no understanding of what he did.

He broke me. They all fucking broke me.

He raised his hand and then dropped it with a pained smile. “I fucked up, Hals. I did. I was out of my mind, and I did things I fucking hate, but everything I did was to be with you. You’re the one. You’ve always been the one.”

My heart lurched at his softly spoken statement, and I averted my gaze. The fucked-up part of me enjoyed the gentle glow his words created, but I know only too well I can’t fall for his mercurial moods.

“No, Griff,” I said quietly. “I’m not the one. Because if I were, you would never have done what you did.”

“Halsey, I know I fucked up—”

“You didn’t just fuck up, Griffin. You ripped my world apart. You ruined me. I fucking hate you!”

He glanced away with a tic in his jaw. “Hate me all you want, but this—you and me? It’s not over.”

I huffed out a bitter laugh and sneered. “Oh, it’s fucking over. You think I’m waiting for you? I’d rather fuck Jason than you at this point.”

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth but fuck, just standing next to him opened a cavern of hurt that burned my chest so badly I had to clench my hand into a fist to keep from rubbing it.

“Is that right?” His eyes became sheets of ice, and his mouth pulled into a nasty smirk.

Strangely, it relaxed me. I’ve grown so used to his revulsion that I’m more comfortable with it. Fucked up, I know. Besides, when he acts like a jerk, I don’t have to give in to the tiny voice in my head telling me not to let this go, that Griffin is the one, and I’m losing precious time.

Still, I was dizzy from the shame that wrapped around my heart, at odds with the burn of triumph searing my insides.

“Yes,” I said, staring at a spot over his shoulder.

“That’s fucked up.” His voice dropped to a whisper.

“I’m fucked up,” I said dully, “and you’re the reason why.”

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