Page 111 of Bitter Truths

“Good, this is good. Now, let’s talk about your rape.”

“Wh-what?” I ask, sinking lower in my seat.

“C‘mon, Halsey. You like it rough. Tell me you didn’t like it when they fucked you,” he admonishes.

With wide eyes, I say firmly, “I didn’t.”

“No? You didn’t beg them for it? You didn’t ask that young man to fuck you?”

“What are you saying?” I ask, clutching the arms of the chair to hide my trembling limbs.

“I saw the videos, Halsey. Tell me, was it rape? When you asked him to fuck you?”

“You saw them? How?”

“Does it matter?” he asks silkily.

“It matters to me,” I say, standing.

“Sit down,” he says sternly.

“I’d like to leave now,” I say shakily, but he just shakes his head.

“Sit down.”

“What’s this about?”

“It’s about your penchant for lying. Perhaps Mr. Hathaway’s assessment of you was not far off.”

Flinching, I clench my hand in a fist, rage bubbling on my tongue. “I didn’t lie.”

“No? Why then? Why did you beg for it?”

“I was wasted, drunk. I said no!”

“And? What does it matter after you made them all horny?”

“Because I said no,” I sob, wrapping my arms around my middle.

“And what are you going to do about it?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know,” I say shakily.

“Take it back, Halsey,” he says simply.

∞∞∞

Mindlessly, I wander after my session, Dr. Marks’ words running through my head on repeat. I don’t know what he wants from me, but I do know that him seeing the videos is reprehensible.

What the hell can I do? And what does he want from me?

Take it back? What? My sexuality? My body? What?

Finally, I head home exhausted, thankful that Griff has a late study night, and I drop into a fitful sleep with no new answers the following morning.

Aaron’s in the kitchen when I emerge, and with a tired smile, I grab a coffee and sit beside him at the small table.

I feel lost, and I’m tired of it. This isn’t me. I refuse to let it be.

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