Page 90 of Bitter Truths

“Sweetheart,” I say softly, achingly, because being the one to take the high road is fucking killing me, which is why I can’t resist, and I kiss her gently on the lips.

It’s not enough, and if these assholes weren’t watching, I’d take more because I’m a selfish motherfucker.

“I can’t lose you again,” I breathe.

“I—” she starts, but Aaron draws my attention when he shifts behind us and says, “Um.”

“You said it was over,” Miranda says quietly.

Halsey flinches, breaking away and the loss hurts my fucking heart, but I school my features into indifference and turn to where Miranda stands in the doorway.

Although I feel a beat of guilt, it’s lost in the warmth of my lips still tingling from her gentle touch and rubbing them together, I sigh at the distance Halsey is already putting between us.

This was so much fucking easier when I bulldozed my way into her world and refused to let her leave. Fuck.

Stepping away, I scrub my face and say to Miranda, “I also told you I still have feelings for her.”

Halsey gasps, and when I glance at her, I see her looking between us with a furrowed brow. And I send a fuck you to the universe because no matter the circumstance, there’s always something pulling us the fuck apart.

Miranda shakes her head, muttering, “I need my head examined. Good sex isn’t worth this shit.”

Halsey’s eyes fly back to mine. I smile coldly as she sneers. “I hope the sex was worth it.”

“We didn’t fuck,” I say coolly.Judge me all you want, sweetheart, but you fucking turned me away, not the other way around.

“Huh?”

“Halsey, you want a guy who can’t stand the thought of touching another? Well, here I am. But I guess since I’m a fucking piece of shit, it doesn’t matter,” I growl, wishing I had fucked Miranda because maybe this hole in my chest wouldn’t feel so fucking wide.

Her eyes go round before her mouth screws up in a frown. “You didn’t sleep with her?”

“No. I haven’t fucked anyone since you,” I mutter with a scowl. Yes, I let Miranda back into my world, but frankly, I couldn’t get it done, which doesn’t mean I didn’t fucking try. I’m still not sure what Miranda was holding out for, maybe for me to come to my senses? Yeah, right.

“Really?” she asks, but I see the doubt in her eyes. She doesn’t believe me, and maybe I deserve that. Fuck, I don’t know, but the censure feels pretty shitty considering.

“Yes, sweet, but it doesn’t matter, right? Because I fucked up your world,” I mutter.

She caves in on herself, and I flinch before turning away. “This is so fucked up.”

She doesn’t say anything, which is for the best because I don’t know what I’d do. Instead, I leave, not just the room but the house, heading down the street and wishing that the fucking stars that haven’t done anything but give me false promises of hope come through this time.

∞∞∞

HALSEY

Shocked, I watch him walk away. I’m at a loss for words but have hope beating painful wings in my chest. Maybe there’s life for us yet.

“You’re going to let that go?” Aaron asks softly behind me.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

“Hals,” Max says, pushing me gently toward the door. “Go after him.”

Glancing between them, I nod and step into the hall. He’s gone, and a quick search of the living areas and the backyard doesn’t help. Passing my old room, I glance inside, but it’s empty, and with nowhere else to go, I wrap my hand around the doorknob of Max’s old room and hesitate.

Am I ready for this? Do I want to be angry and lonely or be with the only guy who’s ever made me feel alive? It should be a no-brainer, but it isn’t.

My palms are sweaty, and I can barely breathe for the constriction of my lungs because I’m terrified of being vulnerable. What if he hurts me? Frankly, I don’t think I can survive the loss again if this goes sour. I’m drowning in shark-filled waters as it is.

---