Page 14 of Bitter Truths

Huffing out a laugh, I cock my head and lie. “No.”

I don’t know what Max’s intentions are, but I’d be foolish to believe, given the circumstances, that they’re good. This means I must ensure I don’t provide him with ammunition in his constant quest to keep Griff and me apart. Not that we don’t do just fine at that without his damn interference.

Strangely, Max’s hesitant tone ratchets my pulse up a notch because his pathetic appearance is so at odds with his demeanor last year. Am I supposed to feel bad because he supposedly does? Fuck off.

“Oh um, maybe . . .” He trails off, searching my face before his eyes bounce around the room.

He can barely meet my gaze, and shame coats his features, but I’ll be damned if I give in to his pathetic visage. I just confronted the boy I thought I would marry someday and lied about preferring to fuck my rapist over him.

Today is not the day for understanding or forgiveness.

“Max, you did your thing. It’s over. I hate him. Are you happy now?” I ask.

He drops his gaze to the floor. “Hals . . .”

“No.” I slash my hand through the air. “I’m not interested. Do you know what you did? Do you, Max?”

His lips quiver and he raises his bright blue eyes to mine, but I don’t fucking care.

I get he was devastated to find out he was adopted, but we could have worked through his pain together. Besides, I’m a writhing mass of darkness all on my own. I hardly need his.

“Okay, are you ready?” Mom asks, stepping up behind Max with a smile.

“Yep,” I say, turning away from him with his glassy eyes and my mother with her fucking expectations.

Zipping my suitcase up militantly, I stare at the wall with a clenched jaw. I have no use for Max or Griff or any other dick who took my feelings and stomped on them. None.

“Dad’s in the car. Let’s go,” Mom says, and I wait for Max to leave, sensing his stare before he finally turns away.

I follow them out of my room and down the hall with a rigid smile. Inside, I’m a jittery mess of nerves. Seeing Griffin after three months broke apart the mask I’d been hiding behind. Now I’m more confused than ever, and with every breath Max takes, my rage grows. Toward him. Toward Griff. Toward them all. Because each, in their way, took something from me I can never get back.

Max took my trust. Griffin took my love. And those fuckers stole my feelings of safety and peace in the woods beneath the stars. It’s a brutal slap to the face, but in the end, I’m the one who fell for a boy who doesn’t feel, looked past whatever was seething below the surface of Max’s sanity and walked headlong into my defiling.

There is no going back, but how do I fucking move forward? I don’t know, and I’m floundering.

∞∞∞

After five hours of brooding in the car, we go our separate ways with a wave of goodbye to Max and Dad in Max’s car before heading to my new home.

I’m living with Aaron this year, the only friend I made after the fiasco last year. Aaron’s standing on the porch when we arrive, and I smile to find him waiting with a wide grin. We bonded in the few months between when I moved out of Griffin’s and the end of spring semester.

He doesn’t know it, but his calm, peaceful presence grounded me after my initial time with Griff and Max.

We’ve been cultivating our budding friendship in stops and starts over the summer. Although we don’t know each other well, it’s a mark of his open, sunny personality that he approaches as soon as I open my door to give me an enormous hug before spinning me around.

I can’t help my squeal, and with a bloom of warmth in my chest, I laugh out a gasp. “Aaron, put me down.”

He chuckles but drops me to my feet, and when I turn to Mom, I find her beaming behind me with a light in her eyes that’s been missing. I don’t know if it’s because of Aaron or my smile, but I’m relieved as I take her hand and lead her inside.

Aaron’s renting a two-bedroom bungalow with a shared bathroom. It may be small, but it’s quaint and quiet for its size, and I love that I can come home and feel safe.

No more parties and marathon sex beyond my bedroom walls. No more Griffin and his smirking distaste. No more Max and his crazy jealousy. I’m finally fucking free.

Still, there’s an ache in my stomach that I ignore because it doesn’t matter if I’ll never see Griffin now. It’s a ridiculous truth, but I can’t escape the sickness in my head that craves being around my sun, even knowing how toxic he is. There’s a part of me that longs for the love and light I finally received from Griffin after waiting for so long. I’m torn, and it’s one more thing which I’m resentful of because Griffin shouldn’t be anything more than a footnote.

This is why I brought the damn necklace he gave me. At the first opportunity, I’ll be giving it back. I no longer want a reminder of the boy who broke me.

In the meantime, I pack it safely away in my top drawer, placing on top of it the picture of the three of us from home. And with a sigh, I close the drawer on our smiling faces and push aside the yearning that hasn’t waned in five fucking years.

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