Soon, I’m woozy, and I rub my forehead as the guys around Iris and me become indistinct and wavy. Later, I don’t remember anything except images that roll through my brain when I wake the following day with a headache, dry mouth, and a skeevy film on my skin.
Iris is asleep next to me, naked, her slight snores puffing from her lips gently, and glancing down, I confirm I’m not naked, but I am wearing a shirt I don’t recognize.
The slideshow starts up in my head and I groan, clutching my head, with pathetic tears building behind my eyes.
Iris pulls me into the room.
Iris strips with a sexy smile while Saul watches.
Iris pushes me onto the bed and pulls my clothes off while I lay in a daze.
Iris mounts him.
Saul looks over at me and smirks, running his hands over my boobs.
Iris moans and draws him back.
He’s pushing into her from behind. When I look at her face, she’s grimacing, her eyes so black and wide I don’t think she’s even aware, yet still she moans.
He’s looming over me, erect, but I’m paralyzed. I can’t move.
And that’s it. I don’t remember anything more. I don’t even know if I fulfilled my end of the bargain, but I feel disgusting, and I want out.
Shaking Iris gently, I turn away and look for my clothes before pulling them on as she sits up and yawns.
“What is it?”
“What happened?” I mutter, buttoning up my jeans.
“Sex.” She shrugs, laying back down and closing her eyes.
“Iris . . .”
“What?” she grumbles, flipping her eyes open.
“Did I—Did he . . .?”
“With you? No,” she snorts, “you were too out of it. No drugs next time.”
I’m so fucking relieved that my limbs are noodly, but I flinch at her words. “Next time?”
“Yes, Rain, you didn’t fulfill your end of the bargain,” she says heavily, sliding from the bed. “C’mon, let’s go home. My mom should be there.”
Nodding silently, I follow her from the room and straight into the shower when we get home, crying silently as I wash myself down more than once.
No matter how many times I scrub, it doesn’t change the reality that I got stoned and allowed a guy who makes my skin crawl to feel me up, all in a bid to kill my uncle.
This is all so fucked up, and to top it off, my body aches from the beating to the point where black dots dance behind my eyes.
Chapter Thirteen
The following week, I go through the motions, but I’m lost, and nothing seems to bring me from the fog. In a rare act of kindness or maybe rational thought, John writes me a note to get me out of gym, and instead, I go to the library.
Since I have no desire to see Cyn, and I’m still angry with Iris despite everything, I skip lunch too, completing a week’s worth of homework from my nook in the corner.
Only once do I run into Cyn, and I go to walk right by him, caught off guard to find him outside the library, until he catches my arm and spins me around.
“What’s going on?” he asks, searching my expression.