“If what?”
“If I’m around to stop him.”
“So you want to start some kind of pack war over this?” she asks.
“I’m not saying—”
“It’s a stupid little family squabble between me and Lonnie,” Alicia says. “I knew there’d be shit with him when I came back here. But it doesn’t need to get any bigger than that, Brandon. Nobody else needs to get involved. I don’t need you to save me from my brother.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. If it gets too bad, I’ll leave.”
“You’ll just leave? You’ll let him have his way?”
“I’m not going to stay here out of stubbornness,” she says. “I was always going to leave eventually, Brandon. If Lonnie gets too intolerable, I’ll just clear out tomorrow. It’s no big deal.”
“Wow,” I say.
“Wow what?”
“I was right. You reallyhaven’tchanged.”
I don’t know why I’m suddenly so furious with her, but I can’t help the way I feel. Why am I willing to try when she isn’t? Why am I willing to stand up to Lonnie when she won’t? It’s fucked up.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alicia says icily.
“You want to run away,” I tell her. “The moment things get rough, Alicia runs away. That’s how you’ve always been. That’s how you handled your problems when we were kids, and that’s how you want to handle them now. You’re the same old Alicia you always were.”
Her jaw drops, but she’s right. I’ve done my job. I’ve given her a warning.
I turn and walk away.
19
ALICIA
Istandtherefora moment, staring after him. Then I run to catch up.
“Hey!” I yell after him. “Hold on!”
Brandon stops, but doesn’t turn back. He’s too polite to keep walking away from me, I guess, but not so polite that he’s going to acknowledge my presence.
“You can’t say that shit to me and then walk away,” I say.
“Oh,Ican’t walk away?” he says. “Because, what, only you’re allowed to do that?”
“What the fuck, Brandon? Where is this coming from?”
“Don’t be stupid, Alicia. You know exactly where this is coming from. You know our past as well as anyone. Remember? You didn’t want to be with me so much that you ran out on the whole pack.”
“Excuse me? Brandon, youknowthat’s not why I fucking left! I told you already, it was because Deidre was manipulating me. She wasthreateningme.”
“I know what you told me. But now I’m asking you if that was theonlyreason you left. Was it really just your stepmother? It had nothing at all to do with me—with us?”
“There was no us.”
“I accepted you, Alicia. But you rejected me and then went on the run. I’d have to be a real idiot to think there was no connection.”