Page 7 of Hung Up on the Hacker

“It’s why I let you talk me out of it. But that was the coward’s way, and now we’ll have to deal with the consequences.”

“Deal with them over here.” She tugged him down onto the bed, loving the brief feel of his weight covering her before he rolled over, pulling her into the shelter of his body. As it was exactly what she’d wanted, she snuggled in with a sigh. “That’s better. Missed you last night.”

His lips brushed her temple. “Missed you, too.”

They lay like that for long moments, and she wondered that just being quiet with him could feel this comforting. He’d always protected her, but this was different. In his arms, she found safety and unreserved acceptance. That was one of the greatest gifts he’d ever given her.

She was, as people were prone to say, “a lot.” She was loud, opinionated, determined, and she had absolutely no compunction about telling anyone exactly what she thought. Pussy-footing around was inefficient. Why not get straight to the point? More than one adult had told her to “tone it down” over the years. That just made Hadley dig in her heels to be even more unabashedly herself. The wild hair colors, the tattoos that had begun as defiance and become her art, her livelihood. If people judged her for all that—and they definitely did—well, that was a them problem.

But she was deathly afraid that her brother would judge her for this relationship with Cash. And she had no intention of letting him take all the blame. It had been her idea to change things. She who’d shocked the hell out of him one night, by kissing him when he’d walked her up to her apartment door, long after closing. She who’d dragged him inside.

Not that she wanted to give Holt all the details, but she’d do what needed doing to deflect his anger.

Cash threaded his fingers into her hair, massaging at the tension at the base of her skull. “So, let’s make a plan. Go through the whole thing. What are you afraid of in all this?”

“That he’ll be pissed. That he’ll take that out on you. I don’t want you to lose him. If I’d thought for a moment you would, I’d never have kissed you.” She paused, considering. Her impulse control wasn’t good enough to have stopped her from satisfying that lifelong curiosity. “Or at least I wouldn’t have taken it further than that.”

“We’d have both missed out if you hadn’t.”

It pleased her to hear it. Trailing her fingers along his muscled forearm, she pressed a kiss against his throat. “I don’t want to lose him either.”

“You’re never going to lose Holt. There’s nothing on earth you could do to make him walk away from you.”

“Maybe not, but I could disappoint him, and that’s just as bad. He’s my only family, Cash.”

“How could you possibly disappoint him?”

There were things in her past she’d gone out of her way to avoid him ever finding out. Things she’d never, ever tell him. Things she didn’t intend to tell Cash, either. The two of them were cut from the same cloth. What was past was best left in the past.

“There are ways.” Not wanting to continue with that line of questioning, she tipped her head back. “What about you? What are you most concerned about?”

He sighed, his chest rising and falling against hers. “I’m pretty worried he’ll be pissed as hell and won’t be able to forgive me for touching you. I’m afraid of losing my friend. My brother. We should have told him at the start.”

Hadley hit him with some hefty side eye. “Really? You think that would have gone better? If you’d asked his permission or blessing to see me as something other than a sister or friend, do you think he’d really have given it? Do you think my brother was ever going to give any guy permission to jump into my bed?”

“Well, I don’t have a death wish. I wasn’t going to ask it like that. And that’s not what this is.”

“Now it’s not,” she conceded. “But that’s how it started. That’s all we expected in the beginning. And we were both okay with that.”

The hand on her nape went still. “Is that all you want still?”

Hadley stayed silent for a long time. She could deflect again. It was probably what he expected. But it was the second time he’d asked about where she saw the relationship going, and here in his bed, in this cozy mountain inn, she felt as if she owed him the truth.

“No. No, that’s not all I want.”

She waited for him to press her.

Instead, he resumed massaging her neck. “Okay, then. So how do we handle this? A united front? One-on-one?”

“I don’t know. I feel like there has to be an answer that’s going to mitigate the damage. I’m inclined to think it’s better coming from me. Either me on my own or the two of us together. I don’t think you should talk to him by yourself. Because I really don’t know what he’s gonna do. I mean, for all intents and purposes, he’s become this laid-back family guy, which is weird as hell and wonderful to see. But I don’t have a lot of confidence that he’ll stay that way when it comes to me. You know how protective he’s always been.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m the same way.” Cash lapsed into silence, and she could all but hear the gears in his big brain turning. Considering angles, running scenarios in his head. She wouldn’t put it past him to set up some kind of computer program to assess the odds.

“I’m afraid he won’t think I’m good enough for you.”

Hadley exploded up. “What?” She didn’t know which part to be more upset with. “How dare you think so little of yourself? You’re one of the best men I know. One of the best men Holt knows. That’s been true since we were kids. Look what you’ve made of yourself. Especially considering where you started.”

Unperturbed, Cash only shrugged. “You and I both know those aren’t the things Holt cares about.”

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