Brigit on his desk. Their mouths fused. Blaze standing before her, his expression one of defeat and shame and guilt. It had gutted her, was still eviscerating her, but that hadn’t hurt nearly as much as what he’d said.
“I can’t.”
He’d said ‘I can’t’. Can’t meant he could but he didn’t want to. Can’t meant he wouldn’t try, wouldn’t fight for her or what they could have or even for what they had been. He just couldn’t.
He was a coward. A bastard who didn’t care who he hurt as long as he didn’t have to do what he didn’t want to do. And apparently, he wanted to do anything but be with Anna. From what she’d walked in on, he was back to being the carefree manwhore, the bad boy who only cared about getting his dick wet. His promises to her cast aside like a used condom.
Well, he could cast her aside but she’d get up, brush herself off, and walk away, her shoulders straight, her head held high, and her heart like steel.
She could do it. Would do it. Because Blaze didn’t deserve her.
Swiping at the tears, Anna reached for the coffee mug that appeared before her eyes.
“Thanks, hon,” Anna burbled, the tears still leaking down the back of her throat.
Sitting down beside her, Sally grabbed the laptop and dragged it onto her lap. She scrolled through the apartment listings Anna had bookmarked.
An email notification popped up on the screen. It was from the bank where her savings had been growing since she’d first gotten a job at sixteen.
It was savings she hadn’t wanted to touch because she’d always been independent, stubborn, and restless, and that money was meant to see her into her golden years, when she could rest and relax. Now, though, dropping the job at Happy Jack’s meant she’d have to dip into her accounts for a little bit, at least until she could find another job.
New apartment. New job. Fresh start. The $250,000 in her bank account was “New Beginnings” money.
Hell, it stung that she was letting Blaze have so much ground—her apartment, her job, her heart—but she refused to be that woman who let her pride win. Pride wouldn’t keep her heart from splitting open whenever she saw Blaze with another woman. Pride wouldn’t console her when she saw him laughing and flirting and living his best life at a stool in Happy Jack’s. Pride wouldn’t keep her from falling to shattered pieces every time she past his apartment and the memories of him devoured her.
No. Pride was a stupid bitch. Anna much preferred self-preservation.
Sally patted Anna’s knee and offered a soft smile.
“Let’s get started on your new, Blaze-free life, Anna-boo.”
Fear tweaked her growing excitement as thoughts of all the coming changes whirled through her thoughts.
“Am I making a mistake?” she asked, her throat working to hold a new round of sobbing at bay. “Am I just letting my emotions lead me into the biggest mistake of life?”
Her breathing accelerating, her heart racing, her fingers tingling.
Sally slapped her on the back. Hard.
“For fuck’s sake, Anna!” Sally snapped. “Now isn’t the time to panic or second guess. I’m not usually one to back down from a fight—” her voice caught, and Anna looked up at her. Sally’s face was even paler than before. “—but when it comes down to choosing yourself over everything else—especially people who don’t give a shit about you, choose yourself. For the first time in eight years, choose you, Anna. Blaze has been your friend, even before I came into the picture, so you have a deep and abiding history with him. I’m not saying that cutting him off is going to be easy—Lord knows you’re going to still be crying about it months or years from now, which is understandable because, well…you love him so damn much. But what I am saying is that maybe…a retreat from battle is the best way to shore up your defenses so you can live to fight another day.”
Sally’s words clattered through Anna’s head, falling into her chest to land beside her limping heart.
Slowly, Anna nodded. “You’re right.”
Snorting, Sally snarked, “Of course, I’m right.” A bright smile broke over her pale face and Anna smiled in return.