Page 106 of Lost Track

Sabine’s nose scrunched up in distaste all on its own, and Dave must’ve noticed because he barked a laugh.

“Exactly what I was thinking. Did you have to talk to him a lot?” he asked, expression guarded.

“Oh, just enough for me to absolutely know without a doubt that you and I are friends, just friends, and nothing but friends. I’m surprised he didn’t ask me to produce proof I’m taking birth control.”

Shut up, Sabine.Why had she said that? So stupid.

Dave choked on his sandwich and she focused on her own food.

“I’m sorry about him,” he said after he’d recovered.

“Let me guess, it’s not his fault?” she asked with an eyebrow quirk.

“I’m not easy to manage.”

That was it.

Sabine put her sandwich down and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop blaming everyone else’s poor choices on yourself. They’re not children, Dave. They’re responsible for their own decisions. Not you.”

His mouth opened and he started to speak and stopped.

She took that as an opportunity to say more.

“People fuck up. They make mistakes and choices and break things. It’s not on you to apologize for them and smooth it all over. All you have to worry about is you. Stop taking on the emotional burden of other people. Especially people who would never do the same for you.”

His eyes darted to Darius and Dallas sitting too far away to hear her. But it really helped solidify her belief that he cared far too much what people thought of him.

“And while I’m at it,” she added. “Stop apologizing for who you are.” She sucked in a breath because her emotions rose into her throat out of nowhere and she didn’t want her voice to tremble. “You’re awesome. End of.” Her eyes burned and she clenched her jaw. “You are exactly awesome.”

She nodded matter-of-factly at him and resumed eating her sandwich. This time staring at the table between them.

What she didn’t say, but was right on the tip of her tongue, was she loved him. Exactly as he was. In all shades he showed up in life.

And that was something she could never tell him.

After a few minutes he cleared his throat and reached across the table.

She looked at his outstretched hand and froze. He wiggled his fingers. She glanced up at his face and the pleading she saw in those indigo eyes had her ready to walk through fire for him.

She set her hand in his and he curled his fingers into hers.

“Thank you.” He swallowed and squeezed her fingers briefly. He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t know how.

“You’re not mad I yelled at you?” she asked with a small smile.

He lifted his eyebrows. “Never.”

After a beat of staring into each other’s eyes, he squeezed her hand again and let go.

But he took a tiny piece of her heart with him.

* * *