Page 21 of Goddess of Mayhem

The thought sits heavy in my mind, and as I speed out of the parking lot toward my house, I realize I’m more than ready to face him at this ball tomorrow.

Nine

Malia

THEQUIETOFBEINGback in my own home after spending a few weeks in New York with Lion is strange. At Lion’s, there’s always people around, hustling and bustling about since a lot of them live together. At The Omen Mansion, it’s much the same as some live there, and then there are people employed to cook and clean.

In my apartment… it’s just me.

Me and the thoughts I’ve been hiding from.

The ones I drink away when they try to creep their way inside and fuck with my head even more. The thoughts I drown with alcohol, even if it is only temporary. It’s what I need before tonight happens, though. Before I see all my mistakes together in one room.

Liam, the man who began breaking through every thought and feeling I’ve built to keep hidden. Caine, the man who nearly decimated me, and the last person I gave my trust to. Then Tawny, my mother, the catalyst to the black hole that obliterates everything good in my life. The woman I let live, as a consequence, who continues to wreak havoc on my existence.

I walk out of my bedroom, and I’m met with an ogre helping himself to some of my whiskey, dark-brown eyes trained on me as soon as I move into the room.

My apartment’s layout is open, and most things are decorated in black, just the way I like it. Breckin leans against the wall, his dark hair mussed and falling into his face. I notice that it’s longer than he usually keeps it. He casually sips on the glass of whiskey as I near him.

“Can I fucking help you?” I say, stopping in front of him and crossing my arms over my chest as my hip pops out. His six-foot-six stature should make me feel small, but my dominant personality always makes me the biggest presence in the room.

Breckin and I haven’t spoken since shit went sideways with us a while ago. Him not following me around like a lost puppy has been a nice reprieve, but I knew this moment would eventually come. We have to deal with each other—he’s my brother’s best friend and right-hand man.

Why he decided on today of all days is beyond me, but maybe he woke up and chose death this morning.

“Well, hello to you too,” Breckin rasps. He smirks, but it’s missing the usual mirth behind it. “I’ve missed you.”

I snort at that, putting my hand up to stop him when he steps forward.

“If you came here to get your dick wet,” I start with a shrug, “then you’ve missed your mark. Why are you in my fucking house, Breckin?”

He doesn’t push forward, but he does place his whiskey down on the table in the hallway, eyeing it as he builds the courage to say what he wants.

“You ran off, so I had to corner you here to say what I wanted to tell you.” He sighs and pauses, dark-brown eyes searching the floor for answers. “Today isn’t the best time to bring this up, but I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

The apology confuses me more than Breckin breaking into my home does. I guess that doesn’t confuse me so much because it fits who he is as a person. With the apology, though, there are so many things he could be apologizing for. Besides, it’s not like I’m one to ever listen to them. Words are pretty things, but that’s all they’ll ever be.

Words.

Actions say so much more than the bullshit people spew out of their mouths in desperation. My father, for example. He’s so bound by our family’s code and his hard-on for honor—always saying a man must take over his empire—that my birthright has been handed to my brother instead of me.

But only through words.

The Omen’s actions primed me for leadership to be able to command and rule his business. My education is the furthest thing from what the average mafia princess grows up learning. I’ve been trained to be deadly with both my body and my mind.

Breckin knows this more than anyone.

“We haven’t spoken in months,” he continues. “I’m done with it. Ever since Brenner came into the picture, things were put into perspective for me. That night at the club when we were dancing… Mal, you’ve never looked at me like that.”

I remember that night so vividly. The aching pang in my chest I’ve numbed the only way I know how to keep away his memory returns with a vengeance. At only the simple mention of his name, attention is drawn to the unspoken elephant in the room that’s always looming.

Always fucking haunting my mind.

I reach out and grab the glass Breckin had placed on the table, downing the remaining liquid and finding comfort in the burn in my throat. It’s only morning, and it would be wise not to get hammered on the day of the ball.

But I’ve never been good at decision making.

Maybe intoxication is the exact way I should handle all my demons being in one room, but Lion’s words echo in the back of my mind.

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