Page 68 of The Holiday Swap

Her hand shook slightly as she moved the mouse to ‘x’ away the e-mail. She waited for the “Save this message as a draft?” pop-up. But there was none.

“Oh,damn it.” The draft mailbox was empty. However, there the e-mail was, in her Sent Items folder. The message had been sent, a nasty Reply All to Sarah at Makewell’s and some of the other executives copied on the e-mail. Plus, now that she was looking at it more closely, she noticed her parents’ e-mail addresses had also been cc’d.

“Oh no.”An e-mail containing the phrase, “You can take your offer and shove it,” had been sent out far and wide. Then she realized something, and she looked back at the e-mail.

The thing was, it didn’t feel all bad. In fact, it felt kind ofgreat.She stood and stared at the screen. What did she care what anyone at Makewell’s thought of her? She’d meant what she’d written, hadn’t she? Shewouldprotect her family’s legacy and those recipes however she could. And shedidwant Sarah to take her offer and shove it. Cass snapped the laptop shut and strode from the room.

There were many things in her life—and in Charlie’s life—she had no control over right now. But it didn’t have to stay that way. She pulled on some clothes and went downstairs.

“Hey, Walter?”

“Morning, Cass.”

“Would you mind holding down the fort here? I have to figure out how we’re going to solve the problem of the sourdough starter, which is upstairs looking dire. Can you see how those dried strips from the freezer are doing now?”

“I’ve got them going, but you know it will still be a few days until we can bake with them. And Christmas is—”

“I know. Christmas is in two days. I promise, I’ll think of something. And Charlie will be here at some point this morning to help out with everything else.”

“Okay,” Walter said, but he didn’t sound okay at all. Cassswallowed her guilt as she walked out the door. The bakerywasher life—but she had another life she had to attend to: her personal life.

•••

Outside, Cass walked quickly along the sidewalk.

“Morning, Charlie,” said Mark Anderson, an old acquaintance from high school who ran a karate dojo down the street from the bakery.

“Morning, Mark,” Cass replied. “But it’s Cass, actually.”

She knew why Mark had mistaken her for Charlie, though: because she seemed more confident, more sure of herself than usual. She was not going to allow this to change. She was finished with pretending to be her sister and knew it was time for them to finally grow up and never switch places again—but she also knew that shewasgoing to be forever changed by the past week, and not just because of her new tattoo.

She had to be. Or she was never going to have the life she knew was possible.

•••

Brett was still in his pajamas when he answered the door of the house he had purchased for them just a week ago. As she had approached it Cass had realized something: it was not the perfect house for her. But itwasthe perfect house for Brett, and she hoped he planned to keep it.

His hair was rumpled and he looked confused when he saw her. “Cass? What are you doing here?” Then he looked closely at her. For a moment she felt nervous—but then realized she had nothing to be nervous about. For the first time in a long while she wasn’t going to pretend to be someone she wasn’t.

“You look...” he began, running a hand through his messy hair. “More like yourself. More like the Cass I know.” Of course Brett knew her, had an inner sense that it was really her again. Things had gone bad between them recently—but he had still been her first love, and an important part of her life.

“Brett, can I come in? There are some things you need to know.”

When she got inside, she explained that she and Charlie had switched places, that it had been her sister, not Cass, who had shouted at him the other day. “But it doesn’t change anything. We aren’t right for each other. We’ve outgrown each other, we have different values. It’s time to stop holding on to the past like this, and move on.”

Brett was silent at first. “I get it,” he said, surprising her. “Look, maybe it wasn’t you giving me a talking to the other day, but I needed it. It was a wake-up call. Walking away from the bakery that day, finally letting myself picture a life without you? It was what I needed. I realized something in that moment: Iwasclinging to the past. And I was ignoring what you wanted. I was trying to keep you because I was doing what I always do in my life: trying to keep up appearances. When I realized it was really over— Well, the thing is... Cass, I felt relieved, not sad.”

“Oh, Brett.”

He stepped closer to her but for once didn’t try to kiss her or touch her, or call her a pet name. “But you know what else I’m relieved about?” he continued. “That it wasn’t really you the other day. Because what would break my heart would be to not have you in my life at all, Cassandra Goodwin. You don’t spend more than a decade with someone and then forget them, just like that.”

“No,” Cass said, her eyes shining with tears now. “You certainly don’t.”

“So...” He stepped back again and held out his hand. “Friends? Shake on it?”

Cass laughed. “This is not a real estate deal!”

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him for a hug. He did the same. It wasn’t like it was with Miguel; no sparks flew, and she felt no urge to stay there forever. But it felt good, it felt right. And it felt final.

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