For the same reason you came over tonight.
Swiftly he tried to erase the expression, but he didn’t know how successful he was. To cover up the desperate longing, he tucked his face into her hair. It felt miraculous when she twined her arms around him, seeming in no hurry to wrap things up. Maybe she’d even stay over before packing up her bits and bobs in the morning.
“Are you worried?”
“That’s not an answer,” she chided gently.
He could’ve said so many things. Could’ve chosen to be brave and told her the unvarnished truth, but instead, he hoarded it to himself, a love that would wither in the darkness like a flower starved of light. Clem was absurdly pretty with her shorts and tank top pooled on his floor, with the light spangling her skin in shadowy stars. Her eyes gleamed in the low light, and her magic purred over him in a constant ebb and flow.
I adore you.
Finally he said, “It’s complicated.”
“True enough. I shouldn’t even be here. Not sure anyone in the coven would understand what I’m doing. There’s no reason for me to be here. This isn’t a scheme or a plan, but I just…”
Had to see me?
Gavin wanted that to be the answer, but he feared it wasn’t. Part of him wondered if it would help for him to apologize again, but probably there was no point. Words could only go so far; actions mattered more, which was why he’d submit to judgment after the dust settled.
Gavin inhaled the sweetness of Clem’s skin, all dewy wherever they touched. She smelled so good, like sex and fruity lotion, and a hint of his own sweat. It made him want to get her even messier, completely sticky from head to toe so everyone who looked at her would know that he’d put his hands and lips all over her.
I wish she was mine. Truly mine. Not for a night. For good.
“That look is X-rated.” When she touched him, he felt it in his bones, the ache of a desire that penetrated like water wearing away a stone. Because of Clem, his shape would be forever changed.
“It is,” he agreed. “Do you have the energy for round two?”
Her lush mouth curved in a sex-goddess smile. “Sleep is overrated, English. Let’s do it until we die of dehydration.”
With a growl, Gavin pulled her on top of him. “Bring it on.”
Fuck me, I hope the morning never comes.
Chapter 27
Allegra was on Clem’s couch when she got home the next morning.
Better her than anyone else, as Mom tended to focus on her own problems and not lecture the way Gram did. Danica would be ever so gentle and express deep concern about her emotional well-being, but it still felt like the kindest of nagging.
Clem had left before dawn broke fully, with Gavin sleeping in a satisfied sprawl.That might be the last time I see him.And now, her mother was here, her expression tight with unhappiness. The fact that D-Pop wasn’t here as well meant something bad had happened, probably related to Gram and Barnabas. Clem stifled a sigh, wishing she could take back the key she’d given Allegra on a whim.
“What happened?” she asked.
Allegra promptly burst into tears and gasped out a broken version of how Gram had set up a meeting between Barnabas, Pansy, Allegra, and D-Pop, and Allegra’s main takeaway was that Pansy was far younger and prettier, and Gram had apparently implied that if Allegra had been a better wife, taken care of herself better, and kept it tight while making herself endlessly available, then Barnabas wouldn’t have strayed the first time, let alone repeatedly.
“And she said everything infrontof Pansy,” Allegra finished with a messy sniff.
Clem narrowed her eyes. “She did not.”
“She did!” Allegra said, wiping at the tears streaming from her eyes.
She perched on the sofa by her mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You know that’s not true, right? Blaming you for that asshole’s choices is absolute nonsense. Whatever he did, it’s got nothing to do with you. It’s not your fault, Mom. It never was.”
Allegra cried for a while, clinging to Clem, and it reminded her of childhood.This is why I’m afraid of relationships.At least with Gavin, she’d known it couldn’t go anywhere, but she’d learned too late that even being aware she wasn’t meant to be with someone couldn’t keep her heart from being reckless. Finally, she understood Danica a little better.
That’s a silver lining, right?
“Why is she like this? We’ve been divorced for fifteen years. Why can’t she get over it? It’s like she wants me to feel like a failure every time our paths cross and to feel inferior to Barnabas’s latest conquest. She’s my mother! Isn’t she supposed to be my biggest supporter? Why does she break me down this way?”