Page 95 of L.O.V.E

He kissed my tears away. He brought me to the peak again, that time coming with me, and we lay tangled, talking and laughing and pretending tomorrow would not bring another goodbye.

“Spend a few days with me,” he whispered, stroking my thigh.

“No,” came my knee-jerk response. “We can’t keep doing this.”

His lips landed on my forehead, warming my soul. “We can do whatever we want, sunshine.”

I couldn’t respond. Leaving hurt too much.

“We’re supposed to be together. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” He pulled me closer. “It’s fate,” he mumbled, voice sleepy.

I was beginning to hate that word. “Fate is bullshit,” I whispered into the dark.

He chuckled, his chest vibrating.

A wave of anger crashed over me. “It’s not funny, Cole.” I rolled to face him. “It’s bullshit. All of it. If fate was on our side, we would’ve met beforeher. If fate was on our side, I wouldn’t live in another state. I wouldn’t get to touch you only once every couple of months. Don’t you get it? All the shit that’s happened since we met? Fate is cruel, vindictive. She’s punishing us for what we did.”

With a curse, he was over me, his hips between my thighs. He cupped my face with trembling fingers. “What did we do, Natalie? Tell me, what did we do but try to fight this thing between us?”

“I wanted you when it was wrong.” Guilt spilled down my cheeks, wetting his fingers.

“We fought it. You moved away. I married the monster. We did the right thing. We fought. So what does fate have to punish us for?”

I shook my head. Against his reason. Against the emotion. Against the unbearable, biting pain in my chest.

Cole rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I rolled over, contemplating an escape. On his nightstand sat a short crystal vase stuffed with red peonies. Heart meet steamroller.

Footsteps. The mattress sank behind me.

I couldn’t hide the tremble in my voice when I asked, “Why do you have peonies?”

With one strong arm, he pulled me flush against his body. “You know why.”

I didn’t. Nothing made sense. “I don’t understand.”

“They’re your favorite. And they bring life to this dull home.”

My favorite. How did he know? Wiggling free of his heavy arm, I flipped to face him again. “You have to order them weeks in advance this time of year.”

Oh, sweet Jesus, his dimples close up were mind numbing. “I have a standing order.”

What man did such things? “Since when?”

He traced the curve of my hip with his fingers, glanced at the flowers, then back to me. “Since Leon’s Baptism.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought I’d never see the sun again, but there you stood, bright and feminine as a goddamn peony. My fucking sunshine.” He laughed, licked his lips, then his smile disappeared. “They remind me to breathe when my chest gets too heavy. Help me remember the sun is still shining when I’m lost in the dark.”

I stared at his lips, his gaze too potent, his confession breaking me in two.

Forehead to mine, he begged, “Please, stay until morning. I’ll make you breakfast. We’ll talk.”

Nohung on the tip of my tongue.

I hadn’t the will to deny him, lacked the strength to say goodbye again.

I snuggled into his naked warmth.

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