Page 68 of L.O.V.E

Oh, God. The pain in my chest. I was seconds from crumbling under the hurt and anger. The vile rage. If he came close, I would hurt him with fists, teeth, and razor blades if I had them.

He was torn. I was one solid piece of fleshy resolve. Even if Cole chose me, I refused to live a life—share a life or a child—with Victoria. She’d ruined me for the last time.

I couldn’t hurt Cole with my fists, so I used words. “This weekend was great, Cole, but let’s be honest. That’s all it was. Great sex. You sowed your wild oats, and now you can go settle down with the love of your life.”

The broken man opened his mouth to speak. Looked over my shoulder. Scratched the stubble on his jaw. Steely eyes met mine. He nodded. Pushed to stand. “You don’t mean that.”

“Get out.” I couldn’t look at him. I’d break. I’d beg him to choose me. I stared out the window, teeth grinding. Letting him go was the right thing to do, no matter how painful.

“I need to talk to her. I’ll be back.”

“No, you won’t.” She’ll win. She always wins, I left unsaid. “I’m not the right decision, and you know that.”

Cole stormed to my bedroom. Came out minutes later, fully dressed, though still disheveled. I hadn’t moved.

He stood in front of me. I stared at his stomach.

Cole dropped to his knees and cupped my wet cheeks. When I was brave enough to meet his eyes, they were liquid, too.

“Before I go, you need to hear this one thing, and know that I mean it from the depths of my soul.”

I couldn’t speak, or nod, or breathe.

“You are, and always will be, the love of my life.” He dropped a kiss to my forehead. Stepped away. “I’m going to talk to Victoria. Then I’m coming back.”

He wouldn’t return. He would do the right thing for his family. For their future. He was that kind of man. Who was I to stand in the way?

“Go home,” I mumbled to the floor, setting him free. “Don’t come back.”

A heavy sigh. “Natalie.”

I was seconds from shattering. “Get out!” I yelled, my outburst cowardly, my intentions self-preserving.

I sat paralyzed while Cole let himself out. Prisoner to the devastating pain, my soul wept on that godforsaken chair while shadows moved across the room, time moving on as if my hopes hadn’t been crushed by wretched sorrow. Two boxes of tissues later, I made the biggest decision of my life.

Cole

Ten minutes into the reception, and Martin was drunk. No surprise. He’d been an ass since the moment Victoria and I announced our impromptu wedding. He’d arrived fucked out of his brains to the bachelor party and had refused to stand at my side during the ceremony.

“Congratulations, brother.” A heavy hand clapped my back. A sloppy voice mumbled in my ear, “You landed a queen, didn’t you?”

I watched Victoria sway across the dance floor in the arms of my father, a regal beauty in her white gown. She caught my eyes and flashed me a knee-buckling smile. Dad had never looked so proud.

I wondered what Natalie was doing at that moment. I wondered if she regretted not taking my calls or answering her door.

Then I envied Martin his ability to drown his bullshit with a bottle of bourbon.

“Where’s the honeymoon?” he asked, using my shoulder to hold himself upright.

“Why don’t you slow down on the Pappy’s.” I reached for his glass.

He dodged, holding the glass out of reach. “Can’t.”

“What’s with you?”

He pounded his chest. Once. Twice. Gaze unfocused, he confessed, “Broken heart.”

Martin hadn’t dated anyone since Natalie. Hell, he hadn’t bragged about banging anyone since Natalie had given him the boot. Obviously, her rejection had hurt more than he’d let on.