Page 95 of My Brother's Forbidden Friend

Dad passes Cade my letter, who passes it to Adam, who passes it to me. Scripted in my mom’s handwriting is Chevelle, my darling little girl.

“So, everyone’s good, right?” Adam asks, digging his car key out of his pocket.

“Adam,” I sigh.

“We’re not all gonna sit here and read letters she wrote us, are we?” he says.

“No. I’m reading mine in private,” Cade chimes in.

We all know Fisher won’t read his here because he likes to act as though he doesn’t have emotions.

“I think we’ll all read on our own. And if you don’t want to read it, that’s okay too.” Dad stands.

He’s obviously crazy. I’m tearing into this as soon as I’m alone.

“Xavier, I’ll hold on to yours until you’re back in town,” my dad says.

“Thanks, Dad. All right, everyone, I gotta get down to the field for practice. I’ll chat with you later.”

We all say goodbye, and he hangs up.

I say goodbye to my brothers, but my dad lingers beside me for a moment. “I’m going, but I hope you heard what I was saying earlier. At some point, you have to stop blaming yourself. What happened the other night could happen to anyone, and it has, but you got out on the good side. Be thankful and move on with your life. Cherish the things that matter. Don’t push them away.”

I hug my dad and squeeze him tight. “Thank you. I do feel much better.”

“Good. Now I’ll leave you alone.” He holds up the cassette. “I have to find something to play this in. Maybe Marla will help.” He heads down to his truck.

I sit on the bench in front of my mom’s gravestone and open the envelope. My hands shake because I’m so nervous about what I might find inside.

“Can you believe they actually orchestrated this themselves?” I giggle because I didn’t think my brothers had it in them.

I pull out the piece of paper. I never even knew her handwriting, and her cursive is so pretty.

Chevelle,

My baby girl. Don’t tell your dad, but I had to beg him to try just one more time for a girl. Don’t get me wrong, I love your brothers, but I wanted a little girl to wear cute dresses and play in my makeup. I wanted someone in our household who would understand me a little better. And when we found out you were a girl, you should’ve seen your dad’s face. He was as excited as I was. Watching him with you these past three years, how you’ve wrapped him around your finger, has been something special.

Your fierce personality and determination to compete with your brothers are two of the traits I admire most in you. Your independence is sometimes challenging when I want you to do something, but I hope you never lose it. It will serve you well.

I’m sorry I’m gone, because we were going to be a team against the boys. But someone had other plans for me.

I think about you being the youngest and what it’ll be like for you to have lost your mom so early in life. You’ve been with me the least amount of time, and I’m not naive enough not to know that by the time you’re older, you won’t remember me. Although I know your dad will do a good job of talking about me. And I hope your brothers share stories to keep my memory alive.

But just in case, I’ve listed some words of wisdom for you on the following pages. But if you only live life according to one specific line of advice I give you, it is, “Live your life like there isn’t a tomorrow.” Meaning, don’t waste your time or energy worrying about things you can’t control, and unfortunately, death is one of those things. If it wasn’t, I’d still be with you now. Now, I’m going to put in a motherly disclaimer here—this does not mean you go out and do extreme death-defying acts. It means don’t be scared to go after your dreams, to love with your entire heart, and never apologize for being you.

During the years without me, you can reference some of the things I put on the following pages, or you can just live by the one quote. Enjoy this life, Chevelle, you only get one.

Love,

Mom

I look through the pages, reading lines about prom and not to be a cliché by losing my virginity that night, or how all friends come with good and bad sides to them but to make sure the good outweighs the bad, and to pick a husband who loves your family as much as you do (along with a long list of the traits of a man who would deserve me).

I press the papers to my chest and take a deep breath. It feels as if she’s here with me now. I can almost hear the words in her voice.

I fold the papers and put them in the envelope to read again later.

“You’re probably not going to believe this, but I’m in love with Cameron Baker, Fisher’s best friend…” I tell my mom all about how I fell in love with him and how scared I was when I thought I might lose him.

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