Page 94 of My Brother's Forbidden Friend

I look up.

“She would’ve had it no other way. You were only five and just wanted to be with your brothers. As you will find out someday if you become a parent, you would give up your life for your child at any cost.”

I look away, ashamed, but spot Cade, Adam, and Fisher nodding.

“If something had happened to you that day…” Dad shakes his head, tears in the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know that she would have been able to go on. If she were here today, she would tell you that she does not regret what happened. Not at all. One thing she said to me during her health scare was, ‘Better me than one of you.’ She never wanted to see any of you in pain.” He rests his arms on his thighs. “Sometimes I wonder if she would’ve been better at this than I am. If it had been me, maybe you wouldn’t carry around all the scars from that day.”

“No, Dad,” Cade says. “It just would’ve been about you.”

Dad nods. “It was an accident. No one is at fault, and there’s nothing anyone could’ve done.”

“I could have not gone on that ice,” I murmur.

“Do any of you boys blame Chevelle?” my dad asks.

I steel myself for their answers. My stomach flips over, and I feel as though I might be sick.

“No,” they say in unison, and a tear slips down my face.

“Do you worry about her all the time and the guilt that consumes her?”

“Yes,” they answer.

“Chevelle, honey, you were five. I want you to think about Emelia or Trey. They’re already a few years older. Would you blame them?” My dad looks me square in the eyes and waits for me to answer.

I shake my head.

“Do you believe either of your brothers would willingly die if it meant their child was safe?”

I nod, crying harder at the thought.

“Then stop blaming yourself. I know you’ve all forgotten certain things about your mom, but I’m here to tell you, she would be so upset to know how much guilt you carry around with you, Chevelle. Cam is a good guy, and the accident that happened last week was just that—an accident. And it turned out in our favor. We didn’t lose anyone we love, and we get to be grateful to still have them in our lives.”

We all remain silent.

“If life has taught you anything, it’s that tragedy can strike when you least expect it, so cherish every good thing and live your life to the fullest, kids. Now, open the safe.”

Fisher starts up the drill and buries it in the lock portion of the safe. It pops open. We all watch him stop the drill and pull out the bit.

I let out the breath I was holding while he was drilling.

“It’s open,” Cade says.

“Yeah,” I say.

“Someone see what’s inside,” X says.

“You do it, Dad,” Fisher pushes it our dad’s way.

He puts the safe on the bench and opens the lid. My brothers rush over to see, but I stay back, afraid and anxious to know what’s inside.

“I knew it,” Adam says. “Letters.” He lifts his out of the safe.

“Dad got a mixed tape.” Fisher smiles.

“She loved me more,” Dad says, laughing.

I edge closer. There’s a note on the cassette that says, “Listen to me when you miss me.” How will that go over with Marla? I shake my head because that’s my dad’s business, not mine.

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