Page 60 of Stuck with the Grump

I scowled as I entered the basement of my new house, seeing the dingy carpet covering the floor. A contractor was coming over next week to install a hardwood floor that would match the one upstairs. Until then, my goal was to rip up all the carpet that spanned the rec room, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. Why the former owners put carpet in the bathrooms, I didn’t know. Those were the areas I was going to handle first.

After rolling up my sleeves and pulling a pocketknife out, I got to work cutting the rug away from the wall and prying staples up. Sweat dripped down my forehead, but the manual labor was good. It kept my mind off Leigh.

The sun had gone down hours ago by the time I finished cutting carpet out and hauling it to the back of the truck I bought yesterday. I was covered in tiny pieces of fabric, dirt, and dust. For the first time in a long time, I was satisfied with the way my day had gone.

When I got back to the lake house that night, I took a long shower, scrubbing away the dirt only to remember the feel of Leigh’s hands on my body. I could feel myself becoming hard as I remembered the way she had gotten to her knees and taken me in her mouth.

Before I could fist myself, Tyson’s ringtone started blaring from the bedroom. I swore and turned the water off, slinging a towel low around my hips before heading into the bedroom and grabbing the phone from the bed.

“Hello, Tyson,” I said, wishing that he were here in person so I could wring his neck for the blue balls I was now sporting. “I don’t suppose you have a good reason for calling me when it’s almost midnight.”

“Well, I figured that you were just sitting around with your dick in your hand. I don’t want to know the answer to that either so don’t confirm it because then it gets weird with you being hung up on my sister.”

“Funny,” I said, running a hand through my wet hair and going back to the bathroom to look at my beard in the mirror. It was longer than I liked it and could do with a trim.

Tomorrow I would likely head into town and get cleaned up. It would be time to start making appearances once the trial began and Camille would kill me if I was bordering on the edge of ungroomed.

“Why are you actually calling, Tyson?”

“Well, Leigh’s gallery opening is tomorrow, and I thought you should know that there is a ticket being left at admissions with your name on it. Camille told me that Leigh arranged it.”

“I’m not going,” I said, though my mind started to race with the knowledge that Leigh was leaving a ticket for me. Maybe that meant that it wasn’t over between us, even if she hadn’t reached out before now.

“And why aren’t you going? I just told you that Leigh is leaving you a ticket. I may not be good at thinking like a woman, but to me, that means that she is hoping you will be there but she’s too scared to call and ask you.”

“I don’t know, I’m not great at thinking like a woman either. She’s been avoiding my calls and when I showed up to see her, she made it very clear she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s because you showed up drunk and then stormed off, you ass. Listen, I’m just trying to support my sister and whatever makes her happy. If that’s you, then that’s you. What I can’t figure out is why both of you are so hellbent on fucking it up.”

“It’s complicated.” I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the guitar in the corner of the room. “I push her and she pulls away. I’m just trying to give her the space she wants.”

“Get your head out of your ass, Clarke. You aren’t going to find anyone better than my sister and if you want to spend the rest of your life trying, then you’re welcome to it.”

“I’m the one who isn’t good enough for her,” I said, exasperation coloring my tone. “I’m the one who will never be good enough for her. I’ve already lived through my twenties and thirties. She hasn’t done that. Do you really think that she’s going to want to be tied to this old man who isn’t going through the same phases of life?”

“I think that’s her decision to make for herself, not yours to make for her.”

His words felt like a blow to the gut. He was right, of course he was, but I still couldn’t bring myself to get rid of the guilt. I was robbing what most people called the best years of their lives from her.

“It is her decision to make but what if she makes the wrong one? What if she picks me and then she regrets it for the rest of her life?”

Tyson chuckled. “You’re overthinking this. If she’s unhappy in a relationship and there’s no way to work through it, she’ll leave. She’s proven that before. You have to stop letting fear get in the way of happiness. It isn’t worth it and you’re not getting any younger.”

“Did you just call me old?”

“You’re forty. That’s old.”

I laughed and fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I love her.”

“I think you’re telling the wrong Dallas sibling that. It tends to work better if you tell the person you love that you love them, don’t you think?”

“Why are you always such a smartass?”

“Because all you’re giving me are excuses. You haven’t been in a real relationship in years, I get that. Falling in love with someone over the course of less than two weeks is terrifying, I get that too. But you have the rest of your lives to figure out what that love means and how that relationship will look for you. Why bother getting caught up on the here and now when you can take it day by day and figure it out as you go?”

“I already know what I want.”

“Then go after her.”

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